You Should Know
by tiffanyanne3
Summary: Bella's life changes completely when she is unceremoniously dumped by Jacob. Broken-hearted and searching for new meaning to her life, Bella finds a close friend and calming influence in the form of Edward.
1. Run Away

_A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a dog who leaves muddy paw prints on my new wood flooring. _

_A good song to listen to for this chapter: "Miss Misery" by Elliott Smith._

* * *

Running.

Breathing.

Trying not to break.

The only sounds I heard were the pounding of my feet on the pavement and the driving rhythm of music pulsing through my ears as I tried desperately to drown out the pounding of my heart.

Despite my best efforts, my mind flipped right back to the very thing I was trying to forget. Everything I knew—everything I had—was gone. A seemingly secure life with a boyfriend who stood by me no matter what, a love that would never die.

Or so I'd thought.

I turned up the volume on my "butt-in-gear" playlist to drown it out again.

_Too late._ Tears filled my eyes. My chest heaved, not with the effort of running, but from the struggle of trying to hold everything back. Stupid tears blurred my vision, and once they started, there was no stopping them. My knees gave out and I fell to the cold, hard ground, knees and palms burning from the sudden and violent contact of pavement to skin. I couldn't do it anymore. My chest faulted and cracked until it crumbled completely like a dam, and everything came rushing forth.

It felt like I was physically falling apart. Wrapping my arms around my chest, trying to hold myself together, I doubled over and rested my forehead on my knees. I sobbed so hard it hurt. Physical pain felt better than emotional suffering. I was weak and stupid. At least there didn't seem to be anyone else around to see me at my worst. The Battery in downtown Charleston, South Carolina, seemed unusually abandoned at this hour. I don't know how long I lay crumpled on the ground in my sorry state, but I eventually heard the familiar pounding of running shoes on the pavement behind me, followed by a man's voice.

"Hey! Hey, are you okay?"

I didn't answer. I kind of hoped I would just disappear and he'd go on running as though he hadn't seen me at all. Maybe if I concentrated hard enough, I would melt right into the concrete below me.

No such luck. I opened an eye to see him kneeling beside me.

"Are you hurt?"

I shook my head, because aside from my scraped up knees and palms, I wasn't physically hurt. I tried to speak, but only hysterical sobs would come out.

"Can you talk to me? Do you need an ambulance?" His tone was almost soothing, and I felt an odd sort of calm wash over me as I looked up and rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands.

"I—I'm okay. I just..." I sniffled. "Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed."

"Hey, we've all taken a tumble at one time or another."

I shook my head and thought how gross I must have looked. I cupped my hand over my nose. "Um, would you happen to have a tissue?"

"Oh, shit," he said, looking around. "Hang on a minute, okay? Don't go anywhere."

I shook my head again. I was glued to the spot in mortification. He trotted off across the street and was back in a moment with a handful of napkins and a red plastic cup.

He grinned and handed me the napkins. I took them gratefully, blowing my nose in a rather unladylike manner.

I figured I had no dignity left anyway.

"Here," he said, holding the cup out to me. "I got the napkins from a little girl with a lemonade stand. She wouldn't let me have them without buying some lemonade."

I took it and sipped the pale yellow concoction, shuddering at the extreme, sugary tang. How something could be that bitter and sweet at the same time was beyond me.

"No accounting for taste, huh? Well, hopefully that dollar will go toward her college education." He winked, and I smiled weakly as he held out his hand. "I'm Edward."

I sniffed again and drew in a shuddering breath. "I'm Bella. And thank you."

"Don't mention it." He turned his gaze downward. "You're bleeding," he said, taking one of the unsoiled napkins from me and hovering with it over my knee. "May I?"

The way he looked at me was...endearing. I nodded, and he gently dabbed at the scrapes. "Doesn't look too bad. Just scrapes, but you'll probably have some pretty bad bruising later."

I admired the ease and gentleness with which he tended to my wounds. "Are you a med student?" I asked. He looked to young to be a doctor.

He laughed. It was a brilliant, clear laugh straight from his belly. "That would be a no. My dad's a doctor, and he'd love nothing more than for me to follow in his footsteps but... I'm majoring in floundering undecidedness at the moment."

"So you _are_ a student?"

He nodded and took a fresh napkin to dab at my other knee. I winced slightly. "Yeah, at the College of Charleston."

"Me too," I said.

"Oh? Surprised I haven't seen you around. What are you studying?"

"Astronomy."

"Oh, wow. That's really cool. So you want to work for NASA or something?"

I blushed. "That would be pretty amazing. I'm not exactly sure what I'll do. I just find it interesting."

"Are the classes hard?"

_Bless him for the small talk. _"They can be. But it's stuff I'm really interested in learning, so..." I shrugged. Silence fell over us, and I could see him studying me from the corner of my eye.

"Are you okay now? I mean, are you sure you aren't hurt anywhere else?"

I nodded and wiped at my wet face with the backs of my hands. "I'm okay. Some Neosporin and bandages, and I'll be all fixed."

"Can I help you get somewhere? Or were you planning to finish your run?"

"I guess I have to finish my run to get home. Not that I feel like it now."

"I have my car here. Can I drive you home? I promise I'm not a freak or anything. I'll be a perfect gentleman." He held his hand up in oath.

"Mom always told me not to get into cars with strangers," I volleyed.

"Well, we aren't strangers. I've seen you bleed and blow your nose, and I even bought you a lemonade. In some countries, that would be considered a first date."

I laughed, and his face brightened further.

"Crying to laughing. Definitely a step in the right direction," he said softly.

As I considered him, I thought I could probably trust him. And even if I couldn't, I had a small can of pepper spray in the pocket of my shorts. Anyway, he seemed like a nice guy.

_Yeah, and until today, I thought Jake was a nice guy, too. _I cringed inwardly as I thought the name I was trying so hard to block out. I was sure my smile faltered a bit, because Edward raised an eyebrow, still awaiting my answer.

"Sure, you can drive me home."

He stood to help me up, and we walked the block to his car, me limping slightly from the stiffness in my abused knees. I gave him directions to my apartment as he drove.

"Would it be too bold of me to ask why you were so upset?" he asked as we drove up Meeting Street.

I pressed my lips together, drew in a deep breath, and shook my head. "No, not too bold." But I couldn't find words to explain my situation without sounding like a weak fool.

"Boy troubles?" he asked with a knowing grin.

"Something like that," I said, heaving a great sigh, but finding myself spilling to a complete stranger. There was something about him that made me feel...safe. "My boyfriend has been—well, seeing someone else." I cringed at how juvenile it sounded. The words didn't properly convey the situation at all.

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"I take it this wasn't just a casual thing."

I shook my head and looked down at my hands without elaborating.

"I'm sorry," he said, casting a quick glance in my direction. "I'm prying."

I shrugged. "It's fine. It's just...it's new." It hurt too much to elaborate. At least I felt calm in the clean, safe interior of the car with this would-be knight in shining armor.

"Hey, what's this song?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Uh, I'm not sure. It sounds like Band of Horses."

"Oh," I said, not really knowing what else to say. He must've taken my hint, because he didn't bring up the boyfriend topic again.

When we arrived at my apartment, he insisted on helping me out of the car and up the stairs to the front door. My apartment was at the top of an old three-story Charleston single house—the kind that looks tall and skinny from the front and broad from the side. The three floors had been converted into separate apartments. Each level had a long porch that spanned three sides of the house, and the floors were connected by an outdoor staircase.

"Crap," I said, patting the pockets of my running shorts. "I forgot my key." I rang the doorbell, hoping my roommate Rosalie was home. She opened the door with a charming smile, which transformed to a wide-eyed, panicky expression as she took in my appearance.

"Bella! What the hell happened to you? Who are you?" She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips at Edward.

I rolled my eyes. Rose was an over-reactor, and her dramatic tendencies could be downright annoying. If it weren't for her fierce loyalty and steadfast friendship, she would've gotten on my last nerve long ago.

"This is Edward. I fell when I was running, and he helped me." I offered him an apologetic smile. "You'll have to excuse Rosalie. She's a bit of a drama queen."

"Hello! Standing right here," Rose scoffed.

I ignored her and turned back to Edward. "Thanks again for all your help."

"It was nice meeting you, Bella, though I wish it had been under better circumstances." He stuck his hand out for me to shake, and I took it gingerly, being careful of my stinging palms.

"Nice to meet you, too. Maybe I'll see you around campus."

"Hopefully. See you around." He hesitated for a second, then turned to leave. I watched him descend the stairs before I closed the door.

"Spill!" Rose said, dragging me over to the couch by my hands.

"Ouch, Rose! Give me a break, will you?"

"Oh my gosh, you're all cut up," she said, examining my hands.

"It's nothing," I said, going to the kitchen to wash the abrasions on my hands and knees.

Rose stood on the other side of the breakfast counter, arms crossed and foot tapping away again. "I can tell you've been crying, Bella."

"I fell."

"Bella Swan doesn't cry over scrapes and bruises. What really happened?"

We moved to the couch.

"Jake."

She raised her eyebrows and moved her hand in a circular motion, coaxing me to go on. "Jake what?"

"He's been seeing someone else."

Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at me in complete shock.

"Wow. A speechless Rosalie. There's one I haven't seen before."

"You seem to be taking this awfully well. When did you find out?"

I shook my head, held up my hands, and gestured to my knees. "Does this look like I took it well?" My voice had begun to shake with emotion again. The short distraction Edward provided had only managed to put a temporary lid on my panic. Now that I had to think and talk about it again, my heart raced and my head pounded. "I found out this afternoon. He asked me to stop by his house, so I just swung by during my run. He just...sat there. Told me he's been seeing someone else. He didn't think things were working out between us anymore. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even cry. I just left in a daze and finished my run. Or tried to, at least."

"Oh, Bella," Rose said. She drew me into her arms, which only made me feel worse, and the tears burst forth. "It's okay. You cry as much as you want."

She knew it was bad. She was right: Bella Swan did not cry. Ever. Okay—maybe during _Casablanca_ when Bogey put Ingrid Bergman on the plane back to the States and didn't go with her. Every time. But that was it. Other than that, Bella didn't cry.

Rose rubbed her hand up and down my back as I continued to ruin her blouse with my tears. After a few minutes of indulging, wallowing, I pulled away and wiped at my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I hiccoughed. "I know it's not like me to cry over a boy."

"Bella, Jake is not just a boy. He's your best friend. Everyone thought you'd get married and have kids and live happily ever after..." She trailed off. "I'm sorry. That's probably not helping."

I couldn't do anything but nod and hold back another sob. "I don't understand. Everything was fine, and then... He drops this bomb on me."

Jake and I had always been the perfect pair. We grew up together, were best friends throughout school, and fell into deep and intense love somewhere along the way. Our relationship was full of laughter and friendship and love and passion. What else could anyone ask for? _Apparently, a curvy, raven-haired bombshell named Charlotte, _I thought sourly.

I let out a stuttering breath, dropping my eyes from Rose's face and noticed a wet spot on the shoulder of her blouse. "I'm sorry," I said. "I've ruined your top."

"Stop apologizing for everything. It's just a shirt. We have much bigger concerns here. Why did he suddenly decide to tell you?"

"I guess he couldn't have it weighing on his conscience anymore. I made it so easy for him, Rose. He said his piece and I got up and left. He broke it off without a care in the world. Didn't even ask forgiveness, didn't ask me to stay, or—"

"_Stay?_" she shrieked. "You would consider _staying_ with him after he cheated on you?"

"You don't understand!" I wailed. "You think you're going to be with someone forever, and... I feel like my entire future has just... I feel...lost. I'm not ready to give up what we had." I dissolved into sobs again as my own words sank into my devastated heart.

She put an arm around me and leaned her head on my shoulder. We sat that way for a few minutes while I breathed in and out, in and out, trying clam down.

"Ice cream?" Rose asked.

I sniffled and nodded.

She was back from the kitchen in a flash with a carton of Ben and Jerry's and two spoons. We sat facing each other, cross-legged on the couch, sharing the pint of chocolaty goodness.

"So tell me about this hot guy that brought you home," Rose said. "Yummy."

I tried to force a laugh for her sake but choked on it. "There's not much to report. His name's Edward. He goes to C of C, and he seems really nice. I should've gotten his number for you."

She shrugged. "It's okay. I sort of met a guy yesterday that I'm really into."

"Really? Do tell."

She hesitated. "Are you sure you want to hear—"

"Anything to distract me right now is perfect."

"Well, he's tall, dark, and handsome." She faked a swoon. "A real gentleman. I met him at Kudu Coffee. He held the door open for me and we got to talking in line, and he paid for my mocha. We sat there talking for almost two hours. Even his name sounds gentlemanly—Emmett."

"Wow. Emmett? That's...an interesting name."

She nudged my foot with hers. "Shut up. It's cute."

It had been a while since Rose had met a really nice guy. She tended to go for the bad boy type.

"Are you seeing him again?" I asked, happy to have something else to talk about.

"We're going out tomorrow night. So, how about a little _Casablanca?_" Rose knew my weakness not only for frozen chocolate treats, but old movies as well.

I nodded and stuck my spoon into the carton of ice cream, stomach feeling unsettled after just a couple of bites. "Let me change into some pajamas."

I went to my room and sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. The picture of Jake on my nightstand taunted me. His wide, toothy grin. His short, spiky hair. Those full, pouty lips. In a sudden fit of rage, I grabbed the frame and threw it against the wall. Glass shattered, and the whole mess fell to the floor, twisted and broken.

Never in my life had I been one to feel sorry for myself. I'd never indulged in self-pity, never given in to anger, because what use were those emotions?

But this was too much. I shed my running clothes, pulled on some flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt, and crawled into bed. I didn't have the energy or attention span for a movie. I knew Rose would understand. Pulling the blankets over my head, I gave in to the tears again.

The door creaked open, and I felt the mattress dip next to me. Rose laid her hand on my back and patted gently. "Are you okay? Physically, I mean."

I sniffled and nodded from under the quilt.

"I'll clean up the glass. You go to sleep." She pulled the covers down a bit and kissed the top of my head. "Call me if you need anything, all right?"

I nodded again.

That was the first night of my life I ever cried myself to sleep.


	2. Breathe

_A/N: Thanks so much for reading. My words would be worthless without you lovely people._

_Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a whole bunch of new yarn for crocheting._

_A good song for this chapter: "All My Mistakes" by The Avett Brothers_

* * *

I was running a new route in my dream. A dense fog lay over everything like a down comforter in the humid atmosphere, so thick it could've been sliced right through with a butter knife. I stopped running and leaned over to catch my breath, breathing deeply in and out, unable to get enough oxygen.

When I blew out a long gust of air, the dense fog parted, and suddenly I wasn't alone. Jake and a faceless yet beautiful girl sat on a park bench by the harbor, so close their noses were touching as they cooed at each other in sickening voices. I only caught a glimpse of them before the fog closed in again. I was suffocating, inhaling and exhaling furiously, but found no relief from the pressure building in my body.

Just as I thought my head would implode, I jerked awake and tore at the quilt that covered my face. As I gulped the cool air, my chest heaved and head throbbed like I really had been running in a dense humidity. Tears started again, and I wanted to kick myself for feeling what I was feeling.

Like my life was over.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up again to my phone buzzing away on the nightstand.

I groaned and sat up, leaning forward and holding my aching head in my hands. It felt like a killer hangover. The phone buzzed again, and I reached for it, intending to turn it off; I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. But it wasn't a phone call. It was a new email.

A new email from Jacob Black, the subject of which was simply _I'm sorry_. How many times was I going to hear that from him? My thumb hovered over the screen as I gathered the courage to read whatever he felt he still had to say. I combed my hair back from my face with my fingers and opened the message, blowing out and breathing in deeply again to calm my nerves.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm so sorry for what I've done to you. To us. I couldn't have ever imagined things turning out this way, but they did, and I have to face the consequences. I can't be with you knowing what I've done. I know it's the oldest excuse in the book, but please believe me when I say that it had nothing to do with you. I can't take it back, and I can't fix it. You have to know that nothing you could have done would've prevented it from happening. I'm finding out a lot of things about myself that I don't like. I'm weak, Bella, and I'm no good for you. You're a strong, independent person, and you'll be better off without me._

_I think maybe this has been coming for a long time. Like our relationship grew out of some comfort zone that neither of us wanted to step out of. I guess now I've sort of done that for us. I'm just sorry I had to hurt you to do it. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry. I love you._

_Jake_

I dropped my phone on the quilt between my knees just to keep from hurling it across the room. He was sorry, and he loved me? How dare he? _How dare he_? How could he throw away everything we had to chase some piece of freshman tail, and then tell me that it was something he did for _us_? Mad wasn't a strong enough word to describe the way I felt; angry didn't describe half of the absolute _rage_ building inside me.

My first instinct when I was angry was to yell and throw things. I got that from my mother; my dad was always the type to sit and stew silently, which was the scarier of the reactions. At that moment, though, I couldn't do either. I felt even more lost than I had the day before, when I'd had no actual explanation. But the email was not an explanation—it was a copout. Frustration grew in my chest, escaping in the form of a shriek that would have made Miss Piggy proud.

Rosalie wandered into my room a few minutes later with a yawn and a stretch. "What's all the commotion about?"

"This," I said, thrusting the phone into her hand and flopping back onto my pillows.

She sat down on the bed and yawned again. As she read the email, her mouth dropped open and her eyes grew progressively wider. "This is bullshit! Bella, I hope you're not buying any of this."

"Trust me. I'm not."

"Oh, B." She crawled up the bed and lay next to me, taking my hand in hers. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

More tears. Wonderful. "I feel so stupid, Rose."

"You're not stupid. He's the stupid one."

"He's not stupid," I muttered.

"He _is_ stupid if he thinks you'll take this email as some sort of apology. He can say 'sorry' all he wants, but his actions don't match his words. He's stupid for letting you go. But you're going to find something so much better, Bells." She hesitated a moment. "He was only holding you back."

"Holding me back?"

"Think about it this way. How many dreams did you have for yourself that you couldn't follow through on if you were with Jacob? Remember that study abroad program you gave up because you didn't want to leave him here?"

"Anyone in a serious committed relationship would do that," I said in a weak voice, knowing exactly what she meant but not willing to admit it.

"See, it's different, though. Because Jake is the one that asked you not to go. It's much easier to see things clearly from the outside. You'll see it, too."

I sighed. "I don't know. I was so angry when I read that email, but...it's fading. Now I just miss him. I keep thinking of the good times, and they outweigh the bad by so much."

"I know," she said, brushing my hair back from my face as more hot tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. "I know it's going to take some time. But you'll see what I mean, and then you'll feel so much better." She dropped a kiss on my forehead and moved to get up.

I pulled her back down for a hug. "Love you, Rose. I mean it. Thank you for being here for me."

"I love you, too." She pulled away and stood up. "And you're welcome. That's what I'm here for."

* * *

I spent the next week in a totally impassive state, attending classes in body but not spirit. I took the notes, attended the labs, did the reading and studying, but I wasn't an active participant in my normal life. During my forty-five minute break between physics and calculus, I sat under the Oak trees on campus and nibbled at whatever sandwich or fruit I'd packed, not really eating, just sitting and staring off into the distance and thinking. Always thinking.

_Why does this have to be so hard? He thought our relationship was a comfort zone... What's so wrong with having a comfort zone, anyway? It's warm. Inviting. All the things suggested by "comfort."_

I was tired of thinking. I let my mind wander, and before I could stop myself I was mentally reliving our entire relationship, trying to figure out where it went wrong. I filed through memories and felt my heart wrench painfully when I came to the night we decided to take our friendship to the next level.

_It was late September of our freshman year of college. Since the College of Charleston didn't have an engineering program, we went to separate schools. He was doing two years at a community college and then transferring to another school to finish. "It'll save me about forty thousand bucks," he reasoned._

_That was my Jake. Level-headed and logical, like me...sometimes to a fault. Maybe that was our problem. _

_He moved into an apartment with his friends Embry and Sam, and I lived in the dorms at C of C with Rosalie._ _During the third week of school, Rose was invited to a party by a sophomore guy she just had to sink her claws into. Since the party was off campus, I knew it could be a little wild, so I went along to make sure she'd be okay. I invited Jake to come along, and he brought Embry and Sam. The party was loud, smoky, and smutty. I hated it._

_At one point during the evening, I made my way to the bathroom, only to walk in on two guys smoking a joint._

_"Sorry," I mumbled, turning around to hustle my way to another bathroom._

_"Hey, where you goin', honey?" one of them slurred. "The party's in here."_

_I rolled my eyes and kept walking, but the one who had spoken followed me back into the main room, grabbing my arm when he caught up with me. "What's your name?" he asked, trying to hand me a red plastic cup full of beer._

_I swung around to face him. "Get your hand off me."_

_He backed off. "Whoa, I was just trying to be nice. You don't have to be a bitch."_

_My eyes narrowed and my face grew hot. As I considered slapping the idiot, Jake appeared at my side and wrapped a possessive arm around my waist. "Is there something I can help you with?" he asked._

_Frat Boy's eyes grew very wide as he surveyed my best friend. Jake was no bodybuilder, but he was naturally big. Years of playing football had lent definition to his rather impressive physique._

_"No, man. I was just offering the lady a drink."_

_"The lady doesn't need anything from you. I suggest you stay the hell away from her."_

_The guy nodded and turned to leave. I laughed and hugged Jake around the waist as the idiot slunk away. Jake chuckled and led me out the back door to the large deck, where people were smoking and chatting, away from the loud music and dense crowd of bodies. I took the cup of water he offered as we claimed a corner of the deck, sitting side by side on the low, wooden railing._

_"Thanks for that," I said. "I was a nanosecond away from kicking that guy in the balls."_

_Jake winced and nudged me with his shoulder. "You mean like you did when we were ten and I said you threw like a girl?"_

_I threw my head back and laughed. "Yeah, like that."_

_A comfortable silence fell over us, but there was something odd about the way he was looking at me._

_I placed a hand on his arm. "What's up, Jake? Is everything okay with you?"_

_"Yeah, everything's great," he said, running a hand over his dark, close-cropped hair. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."_

_"Okay," I said with a shrug. Jake knew he could talk to me about anything._

_"Bella, I've been having these...feelings...lately."_

_"Are you sick?" My heart beat a little faster._

_"No. Nothing like that." He turned to face me and reached out to touch my cheek. I smiled and leaned into his familiar, warm hand. "They're good feelings...feelings for you."_

_I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. Something inside my chest twisted, but in a good way. "Jake?" I asked in a soft voice. _

_"I'm tired of keeping this in," he said as his thumb stroked my hot cheek. "I love you, Bells. And not just in the best friend sort of way. I've fallen in love with you. I've been so afraid to tell you, because I didn't want it to affect our friendship, but I just can't keep holding it in. I want us to try a real relationship."_

_I was shocked. I realized after a minute of silence that I was only blinking rapidly and not saying anything. His words tumbled around over and over in my head. I was reeling, but the shock deepened as I registered how the words made me feel...like maybe I felt the same way and hadn't realized it yet. Was I in love with Jake?_

_"Please, Bella. If you don't feel the same, we can forget this ever happened. But just...say you'll give it a try."_

_I stared at him as I considered his words. There was longing in his eyes. Love and hope mixed with apprehension. I swallowed and nodded. "I—I do want to try, Jake."_

_His expression was one of complete surprise. "You do?"_

_I nodded again, words failing me._

_"You do!" He jumped up and pulled me into his arms, spinning me around. "God, Bella, you have no idea how happy that makes me."_

_I squealed as he spun me. "Jake, stop! You're making me dizzy."_

_He put me down and backed me into the corner of the deck, coming closer to me than he'd ever been. The look on his face was one I'd never seen before. It was pure burning hunger and lust. "You won't regret this," he said. His hands came up to frame my face again as he moved, ever so slowly, closer and closer to my face. His lips touched mine. Something clicked, and I felt like this was meant to be. Like gears snapping into place. His kiss was soft at first, then eager. His hands fell from my face and went around to my back, and he held me as we stood kissing in the hot September night._

I shook myself back into the present before I could remember any more of that night—one of the best nights of my life. I sighed, checking my phone for the time before packing up my neglected books and untouched apple and heading to class.

* * *

I came around slowly from my deep sleep, crushed; I had hoped to forget but instead the memories slammed back into me as soon as I gained consciousness. I'd made it through two weeks, but the worst day of my life still fresh in my mind. I opened one eye, all crusty and gross with dried tears and sleep, noting with mild disgust that it was a sunny and gorgeous day. Of course. October in Charleston was still practically summer. I groaned and turned over to face the other way, but the curtains on the opposite window were only half closed, letting in annoyingly bright light.

"Great," I groaned and turned my head again to pout at the slightly less sunny side of my bedroom. "What do you want from me, world? It's Saturday."

There was a knock on the door, and Rose entered breezily, sitting on my bed and sweeping my quilt to the floor. "Isabella Swan, it's time for you to stop this moping."

I opened one eye and gave her an incredulous look. "You do know that my entire life has been ripped to shreds, right?"

"Stop being so dramatic. It's been two weeks. It's time for recovery." She stood up, shoved the curtains aside, and flung open the window. "It's such a gorgeous day. Why don't you go for a run? You haven't since—"

"Don't!" I shouted. "Don't mention it. I just want to forget." I pulled the quilt back over my head, but Rose yanked it right back again.

"You've been wearing the same ratty pajamas for fourteen days, Bella. It's gross. I promise you'll feel so much better once you get up, get showered, and change into something pretty."

"Please pardon me if I don't feel much like looking pretty. I don't feel pretty on the inside."

"But you will. You need to start looking toward the future and stop dwelling on this."

"What future?" I mumbled. The only future I'd ever known was the one with Jake, where we graduated, got married, had a house with a white picket fence, a dog, and two-point-five children.

Rose grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me into a sitting position. "Seriously, Bella? Do you honestly think this doesn't happen to thousands of girls every day? Okay, so you grew up together and he was your first...everything."

I winced. That hurt.

"So you thought you'd get married and live happily ever after. We all thought that. But, honey, you need to get over this and start looking at it as an opportunity."

I blinked and then narrowed my eyes. "Rose, are you taking psychology this semester?"

"That's beside the point," she said with a wave of her hand. "I'm talking about the new opportunities that lie ahead of you. Let's look at the good things you'll get to experience. You'll get to have another first kiss, butterflies in your belly when some cute guy looks at you, the thrill of the chase!" She threw her arms out and looked off into the distance.

I peeked around to see what she looking at, but there was nothing. _So we're back to theatrics again_, I thought. _Sometimes I'd like to get just a tiny peek inside her brain..._

"So here's what we're going to do. You're going to get a shower, and then you're going to go for a run. Then you're probably going to need another shower because you'll be all sweaty. And we're going to a party tonight."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Not even a little bit."

"I'm not exactly in the partying mood," I hedged as I reluctantly rose from my bed. It did look like I'd managed to burrow out a Bella-shaped dip in my bed. "I'll go for a run, but not because you told me to. It's because I can feel a muffin top coming on."

"You're insane. You've barely eaten anything lately."

"I don't need to eat to gain weight. It's an amazing gene the women in my family carry. Just like your family carries that pesky gene that makes you all thin and beautiful."

Rose huffed. "Stop being snarky and get in the shower."

I had to admit as I ran down the Battery again that the slight breeze and the sun on my shoulders improved my mood slightly. I avoided the spot where I'd fallen the last time I'd been there, giving it a wide berth in hopes of also avoiding the memory of all that pain crashing back. Running had always been an escape for me. Nobody to prove myself to, nobody to impress or answer to. Just me, my own goals, and no one else.

I was interrupted from my reverie, startled by a tap on the shoulder, and turned to see who had intruded on my self-prescribed—well, Rose-prescribed, if you want to get technical—therapy session. I smiled and yanked out one of my earbuds, pleasantly surprised to see the guy who had helped me get home when I'd fallen on my last run. Edward.

"I'm sorry," he said with a laugh as he jogged alongside me. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," I said. "I was just sort of lost in my thoughts."

"Sorry to interrupt."

"No! It's fine. I'm glad to see you again."

He grinned. "How are you? Obviously much better than the last time I saw you."

I breathed in deeply, sucking in the warm, slightly salty air. "I'm okay. Not great, but okay."

"Okay's not bad."

I laughed. "You're right, it's not bad."

"So could you use some company, or would you rather be alone?"

"I don't mind the company at all," I said, then cast him a quick smirk before focusing my eyes on the road in front of me. "As long as you can keep up with me."

He snorted. "I'll do my best."

We ran in silence for a few minutes. I had to admit the company was nice. Other than simply existing among my classmates for the past two weeks, I hadn't interacted with anyone but Rosalie.

"So, have you decided yet?" I asked.

He looked confused. "Decided what?"

"What to major in."

"Not you too," he groaned. "No, I haven't decided yet."

"Hey, I'm not pressuring. Just making conversation."

"Well, I'm taking poli-sci, English literature, geology, and western civ. I've since decided most _not _to major in politics, English, environmental studies, or history."

"Narrowing it down. A step in the right direction."

"How about you? The planets and stars all aligning properly?"

I laughed. "Well, as far as studying the planets goes, all is well. But I think the universe has it in for me lately."

"That so?"

"Yeah."

Another silence fell, and before I knew it, we'd reached the tiny grass lawn in front of my apartment, where I stopped and began stretching. "Are you going on from here? I guess this was a departure from your normal route..."

"Um, actually, I was just finishing my run when I saw you. But I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh." I could feel a flush come on that didn't have anything to do with the sun or running. As I studied his face, I noticed his smile for the first time. It was warm, sweet, and quirked up slightly higher on one side than the other.

He laughed. "I guess I didn't realize how far we were going."

"Do you want me to drive you to your car?" I asked.

He looked sheepish. "Actually, that would be great. I'm a little tired now."

I laughed. "It's the least I could do. You did the same for me. Sort of. Want to come up for some water?"

"I don't want to put you out."

"Not at all."

He smiled and we climbed the stairs to my apartment.

"Any plans for the day?" he asked.

"None. It took enough energy for me just to roll out of bed and come out for a run. I haven't been exactly...mobile for the last two weeks, aside from going to class."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I glanced at him as we reached my front door. His lips were pressed together in a straight line, and I instantly wanted to bring back his warm smile.

"Eh. I feel a lot better today." I turned to him with a smirk as I unlocked the door. "Remembered the key this time."

He laughed and followed me inside. Rose was lounging on the couch with a mug of tea and a book. She looked up in surprise and coughed, spluttering tea back into the cup.

"Well, well," she said when she'd recovered. "If it isn't the white knight."

"Edward," he said.

"I remember." She arched one well-groomed eyebrow and tried to hide a smile by pursing her lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Simmer down, Rose. Go back to your steamy novel. We're just getting water, and I'm driving Edward back to his car."

"Look at the color in your cheeks, Bella!" she teased as she sauntered into the kitchen behind us. I flared my nostrils and gave her what I hoped was a withering look, but she moved in a different direction than I thought she would. "I told you a run was just what you needed."

"Yeah, Rose, you were right and I was wrong. Enjoy it, because it's a first and last time thing."

Edward laughed at our exchange. "I thought only the Gilmore Girls did this bantering thing."

Rose and I turned slowly toward him. "You watch _Gilmore Girls_?" she said slowly, gazing up at him from underneath her long lashes.

He blushed. _Blushed! _ "I—I have a sister..."

We both narrowed our eyes at him.

"Seriously, I do. Her name's Alice, and she forces us to have 'family nights' where we eat takeout food and watch whatever she feels like watching."

"Who's we?" Rose asked, tilting her head to the side.

"My brother and myself," he said.

Her forehead scrunched up a little more. "What's your brother's name?"

"Emmett."

"Jeez, Rosalie, what's up with the inquisition?" I asked, slightly embarrassed at her nosiness.

"I knew it!" she said, ignoring me, and hit him in the chest so hard he stumbled backward a little.

"Ow." Edward rubbed the spot where she had just smacked him and looking at me in confusion.

"You're Emmett's brother!"

"That's what I just said."

"No, I mean when you said your sister was Alice and you had those family nights, it sounded familiar."

"You know Emmett?"

"Yeah. I know Emmett Cullen." She practically swooned right in the middle of the kitchen. "We're dating."

"So you're the mystery woman he's been sneaking off to see," Edward said wryly.

She perked up, just as I knew she would. Drama queen. "Mystery woman? He's been keeping me a secret?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you. I knew he was seeing someone. I just didn't know I'd already met you."

She pursed her lips, and I could see the fantasies of going out in a trench coat, large hat, and sunglasses slip from her mind. Her face brightened a second later. "Oh! That means you're going to be at the party tonight, then."

"Yeah. Were you two planning on coming?"

I groaned. "I hadn't really—"

"Of course we are!" Rose interrupted, squeezing my forearm. "We're both very excited."

Edward turned to me with a smile.

"I—" _There's no way I'm getting out of this, is there? _I thought, choosing to evade the topic instead. "I should get you back to your car."

"Oh. Yeah, I've got lots to do before the party." He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and rolled his eyes. "My sister's list."

"She sounds like my type of gal," Rose said. "Delegation is key. It was nice to see you again, Edward."

"Likewise," he said, giving her a small salute with his bottle of water. "Guess I'll be seeing you again tonight."

I grabbed my keys, determined to ignore all party references. "Ready?"

He nodded and followed me to the door. "Thanks again for doing this," he said when we were in the car.

"No prob," I said. "Sorry about Rose. She can be a little much sometimes."

He shrugged. "Nothing to apologize for. She's...enthusiastic."

I burst into laughter at his description. "That's one way to put it."

I shook my head with a smile as we drove back toward the Battery. Edward was the only person who'd made me laugh in two whole weeks. I wondered what it was about him that made me feel so at ease.

"I'm parked at a meter on the East Bay side," he said, pointing forward. I pulled into an empty spot, a lucky find on a Saturday afternoon, and he unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door. "Thanks again, Bella. I'll see you later, right?"

I winced at the thought of being in a large group of happy, loud, possibly drunk people. But when I looked at his hopeful face, I couldn't say no. "Yeah. I'll see you tonight."

"Great," he said, stepping out of the car and leaning down to meet my eyes. "Drive safely. You know, all three or so miles you have to go." His smile was wide, asymmetrical, and sincere as he patted the top of the car twice and shut the door.

I grinned to myself as I drove away, feeling calmer, more confident than I had in two weeks.


	3. Friend

**A/N: **_If you're reading this, thank you so much. I wouldn't be writing if I thought no one was reading._

_Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight. I own some cute pink piggy slippers._

_A good song for this chapter: I Don't Like it Like This by The Radio Dept._

* * *

"What are you wearing to Emmett and Edward's house?" Rose asked excitedly. I had just emerged from my bathroom, and she was sitting cross-legged on my bed, waiting for me. It was the second time that day someone had startled me into mile-high jump.

"Oh, sorry!" she said. "I knocked on the door and said I was in here. You must not have heard me over the radio."

"It's okay." I did have a tendency to turn the music up too loud while in the shower. "And I don't know. Probably jeans. What are you wearing?"

"I think I'm going with my new sundress."

"A sundress? It's October."

"Yeah, but it's still eighty degrees outside. And it's always hotter inside at these parties, what with all the hormonal bodies stuffed into one room."

I laughed as I ran a towel over my hair. "True. Sundress sounds good. You'll look gorgeous as always." I went to my closet and contemplated its contents. I had barely dressed decently enough for class over the past two weeks. It would be the first time I actually had to make a conscious decision about what to wear.

"Want some help?" Rose asked.

I pulled out a pair of jeans and a silky, flowing tank top and held them up for her inspection.

"Cute!" she said. "You'll look fresh and flirty."

"You sound like a feminine hygiene commercial." I laughed and pushed her out of my room so I could finish getting ready.

Half an hour later I sat on the couch, waiting for Rose to come out so we could go. As much as I'd been dreading the party all day, I had to admit it felt good to be showered and made up. The fact that I knew that I'd have an acquaintance there other than Rose made me feel a lot better. I liked Edward. He seemed like a great guy. I felt comfortable around him—like I'd known him forever—even though I'd only met him twice, and one of those times I was a bleeding, blubbering mess.

Rose finally emerged from her room, and I gave a low whistle. "The dress is definitely a good choice. Emmett's going to love it."

"I know, right?" Rose was too busy daydreaming to see me roll my eyes.

"Let's go, princess," I said, grabbing my bag and car keys. "I'll drive. I won't be drinking tonight."

"Why not?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think I need anything that will encourage me to lie around in bed all day again tomorrow?"

"Good thinking," she said, ducking into the car.

Rose directed me as I drove the sometimes narrow, often one-way, occasionally cobblestone streets of downtown Charleston. When she told me to get on the bridge and cross the Ashley River, I shot her a questioning glance.

"They live on James Island," she explained. "I thought I'd told you."

"No, but that makes sense."

"Why?"

"Edward drives his car to the Battery to run."

"Hmmm. I see," she said in a voice a little too cutesy for my liking.

"What?"

"Methinks someone has a leeettle crush!" she sang.

I scoffed. "Rosalie, you had to drag me out of bed this morning because of my level of depression after breaking up with my long-time boyfriend. And now you think I have a _crush_?"

I chanced a look at her when I stopped at a red light. She nodded.

"That's ridiculous."

"Ridiculous or not, Edward is one fine mother-shut-your-mouth."

I laughed. "He is attractive. I'll give you that."

"And quite the gentleman," she added.

"Yes, Rose. Edward is a gorgeous, nice guy. Are you happy now?"

She clapped her hands. "Quite. Turn left here. Do you think he's gay?"

"Okay, you've gone from thinking I have a crush on him to pondering his sexual orientation? What is wrong with you?"

"It's just that Emmett told me he was single and had been that way for a while. There has to be a reason for a guy like that to be single. Ooh, maybe he's been devastatingly heartbroken too."

"That's _such_ a nice thing to wish on a person," I grumbled.

"Well, it's better than him being gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Okay, Rose, I think you'd better stop before you put your foot in your mouth. I mean, I know you're very familiar with that position, but let's not go there tonight."

She sighed. "Turn right, and their house is the seventh on the left."

"Lucky number seven," I mumbled as I maneuvered the car down the street. Cars were parked up and down both sides.

"Hmm," Rose said again, practically vibrating with excitement.

I found a parking space before she did a tuck-and-roll to get to Emmett as fast as she could. As it was, she had the door open as soon as the car came to a stop and had my door open as well before I could take the keys out of the ignition.

"Excited much?"

"Yes! And a little nervous. You finally get to meet Emmett. You're going to love him, Bella."

"He means a lot to you, huh?"

She nodded, and I thought her face would crack from the huge smile she wore. We ascended the front steps to the house, which was a damned nice setup for three college students. Twenty wide steps led up to the front porch. Yes, I counted. The long porch was lined with wooden rocking chairs, and the front door had a large, etched glass inset. Someone swung the front door open as soon as we reached the threshold.

"Rose!" he shouted as he lifted her in a big hug. The tall, broad-shouldered man was much more than good-looking. He had brown hair and light eyes, and his hands almost encircled Rosalie's waist when he picked her up.

"Put me down!" she said, giggling. "I want you to meet Bella."

He did as she asked and took my hand, kissing the back of it. "Ah, so this is the fair Isabella."

I snickered. "So this is the 'hot hunk of man' Rosalie can't stop talking about."

Rose narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, but Emmett just laughed and grabbed her around the waist again.

"That's nice to know, since I haven't been able to shut up about her since we met." He kissed her bare shoulder. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she said, tilting her head in his direction.

"Let's go inside," Emmett said. "I know you've already met Edward, but I want you to meet my sister."

I followed them inside the house, which was just as nice on the inside as it was outside. There were dark hardwood floors and high ceilings, and vintage movie posters lined the perimeter of the living room. The furniture had been pushed up against the walls to make room for the partygoers.

"So, Bella, Rose tells me you're majoring in Astronomy. What's that like?"

"Um, it's interesting," I said absently as I looked around the room, not exactly sure what it was I was looking for.

"That sounds...fascinating."

I turned to him. "I'm sorry. I was distracted."

"I think she was looking for someone," Rose interjected in a not-so-innocent voice.

"No, I just saw a guy that I thought I recognized from Calculus."

"Uh-huh."

I rolled my eyes and directed my attention to Emmett. "Astronomy _is_ fascinating. I really enjoy it. Even the math. Math is like a puzzle to me, and I love puzzles."

"Bella has all sorts of crosswords and logic puzzles lying around the house. I tried the logic ones." She snorted. "Yeah, not for me. I'm not bad at the crosswords though."

Emmett leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I could get easy words like _the_, but aside from that, I'm hopeless with words. I'm a math guy, myself." He met my grin and then looked back up toward the crowd of people. "Aha! There she is."

A pretty, petite girl with dark hair bounded up to us then. She had a trendy spiky haircut and a bohemian look about her. Bracelets jingled around her wrist as she waved.

"Hi! I'm Alice," she said with the world's biggest smile. She stuck her hand out. "You must be Rosalie."

"It's so nice to meet you, Alice."

"Emmett talks about you all the time. I feel like I know you already." She turned to me and offered her hand again. "And _you_ must be Bella."

"That's me," I said, not without a hint of confusion. "How did you..."

"I have my ways," she said with a wink. "It's great to meet you both. Make yourselves at home. I need to go refresh the guacamole."

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" said Emmett.

Alice flipped him off over her shoulder as she drifted off into the gathering, greeting people briefly while she made her way through.

"She's adorable," Rose gushed.

"Eh, we like her all right," said Emmett. "I wonder where Edward got off to?"

"Looking for me?" came a voice from behind Emmett. He turned and threw an arm around Edward's neck.

"Hey, bro. I just wanted to introduce you to Rose."

"Hi, Rose," he said with a wink. "It's nice to meet you."

Rose giggled. "Likewise. I'm sure you'd be interested in meeting my friend Bella here."

"I'd love to meet your friend Bella." He shot me that gorgeous crooked smile, and I couldn't help but grin back at him.

"Can I get you something to drink, Bella?" Edward asked, taking my arm in his and turning away from the two cooing lovebirds.

"Sure," I said. "Lead the way."

He steered me into a large, modern kitchen that was all granite and stainless steel. "Beer? Wine?"

"I'm actually driving, but I suppose one glass of wine couldn't hurt. Red?"

He nodded and poured me a glass. "Here's your lovely plastic glass of wine. We spare no expense around here."

I laughed. "I see. Well, I'm sure it's the finest quality plastic."

"Of course. It complements the bouquet of the"—he picked up the bottle and squinted at the label—"Old Vine Temperano-however-you-say-it."

I giggled. "Of course."

The conversation lulled as I sipped my wine, and he took a swig from his beer bottle. He looked at me a little more seriously, and I was afraid of what he was going to ask. "So, how are you?"

I pressed my lips into a straight line and pondered how best to answer that question.

"I mean after getting back to running today."

I breathed a slight sigh of relief. "Good. A little sore in the quads, but it felt good to get back into it."

"Yeah, I fall out of the routine sometimes, too." He smiled warmly at me. Something about Edward made me feel so calm and comfortable.

"How about you? Those extra miles do anything for you?"

He laughed. "I have to admit I was a little beat. But I took a nice little nap in the hammock earlier."

"How southern of you," I quipped.

"It's very comfortable. I like napping there. Want to see it?"

"Why not?"

He led me out the back door. The deck was filled with more people I recognized from school, some of whom called out greetings to Edward. He nodded at the girls who said hello, but he reached back and grabbed my hand, not stopping to talk. My skin tingled where he touched me, but I dismissed it as tension from an unfamiliar touch. I didn't like to be touched. But somehow I didn't mind Edward taking my hand to lead me through the crowd. We descended the stairs to the expansive lawn and crossed to a little grouping of oak trees.

"This is it."

I sat tentatively on the edge of the hammock, careful not to tip my wine glass. "You're right. It is quite comfy." I opened my mouth to say something else, but my attention was drawn back up to the deck by the shouting of a familiar name.

My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw them—Jake and another girl. _The_ other girl. The curvy bombshell he'd left me for. I dropped my cup of wine on the grass.

"Shit," I muttered, standing quickly and darting behind one of the oak trees.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"No," I said, throat constricting with emotion. I sank down to the ground and leaned against the tree, trying to control my breathing.

He peeked around the tree and knelt beside me. "What is it?"

"It's him. And her." My voice sounded choked, and I covered my face with my hands before he could see the tears forming in my eyes.

"Who? _Oh_..." He said, realizing that I was referring to the reason for the broken state I was in the day he'd met me. "Which one?"

I peered around the tree. "The tall one with the dark hair. Green shirt."

"You mean Jake?" he asked in surprise.

My mouth fell open. "You know him?"

"Yeah, he's one of Emmett's buddies. He's been coming around a lot lately."

"Great," I said sarcastically, wondering why I hadn't met Emmett before tonight if he and Jake were friends.

"That's Charlotte," he said.

"Oh, lovely," I said. "Sounds like a good name for the 'other woman.'"

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, laying a hand on my arm.

I looked up into his soft green eyes and shook my head. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I...I'm just sorry you had to see them together."

"It's not your fault," I said. "I guess it had to happen sometime."

He ran a hand through his hair and sat on the ground beside me, leaning back against the oak, arms dangling over his bent knees.

"Can I tell you something weird?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Sure."

"I'm...sort of glad you were with me when I saw him."

He turned his face to me and cocked his head to the side. "I'm glad I was here for you."

"I feel comfortable around you." _Where the hell is word vomit this coming from? _I wondered even as I spoke. "If Rose had been here with me, it probably would have turned into this whole...dramatic...thing..." I sighed. "It's nice to have a friend that makes me feel relaxed."

His smile widened and he reached down and squeezed my hand. "I'm glad to have you as a friend, too," he said.

Something in his touch relaxed me further, and I felt a lot of the weight in my chest lift. "So, Alice is nice."

He laughed. "You met the little whirlwind already?"

"I did. She recognized me somehow."

"I told her about you."

I looked at him quizzically. "About _me_?"

"Yeah. The day I met you. You were so sad and just...broken. I felt so bad for you. I asked Alice if she knew you." His voice was quiet and he shrugged.

"Oh," was all I could think to say.

Edward turned to look over his shoulder. "I think they're gone. Do you want to go back inside? We can hide out until you leave."

I nodded. As soon as we were inside I was accosted by Rose, who was already slurring her words slightly. "Bella, I saw him. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Edward was with me."

"We're going to hide out in my room for a bit," he told Emmett, who looked a little worried and guilty.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Rose asked.

"I'm fine. I promise."

Edward tugged at my arm, and I followed him after giving Rose a reassuring smile. I surveyed my surroundings as he pulled me down the hall. A loud thud came from the left suddenly, and two people came tumbling out of the bathroom together, completely tangled up in each other. The guy picked up the girl, and I caught a glimpse of his profile. Jacob. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and they crashed into the wall. My breath caught in my throat.

I gasped as a stabbing sensation seared straight through my heart. Jake turned his head toward us as the girl's tongue trailed down his neck. Three things happened at once: I gasped one huge, resounding sob, Jake muttered a "Fuck," and Edward yanked me into his room and slammed the door.

Tears streamed down my face, and I felt so weak for crying in front of Edward yet again. He pulled me awkwardly into his arms, and despite it being the first semi-intimate contact we'd made, it felt familiar and safe.

"I'm sorry," he said as he hushed me and squeezed me tighter.

"It's...not...your fault," I said through my sobs.

I heard him blow all his breath out in one sigh. "It sort of is, in a way."

I shook my head against his chest, smothering the sobs back down into my chest and pulled away. Edward handed me a tissue from the box on his desk and invited me to sit down in a leather chair. I sank back into it and took deep breaths to calm myself as I wiped at my eyes and nose.

"You okay?"

I nodded, briefly wondering how many times people were going to ask me that question. "Like I said, it had to happen sometime."

"They didn't have to do that in public, where they knew there was a chance of running into you."

"He didn't have any clue I might be here. He never introduced me to Emmett, and he knows I've been depressed. Probably didn't expect to see me out and about."

"Still—"

"Let's talk about something else, okay?"

He studied my face for a few seconds, then nodded and sat on the edge of his bed. "Okay. Um...any plans for Halloween?"

"I taking my little brother trick-or-treating. I've been neglecting my family lately."

Surprise registered on his face. "You have a brother young enough to go trick-or-treating?"

I smiled fondly at the thought of my little brother. "Benjamin. Or Benji, as I call him."

He raised an eyebrow. "Benji? As in the dog from the movies?"

I laughed and swatted at him. "No, not after a dog! I just thought it was cute."

He dodged my swat and chuckled. "How old is he?"

"Six."

"Six?"

"My parents divorced when I was little. They got back together when I was in high school, and they had Ben when I was seventeen."

"So a happy ending," he said.

"I guess."

Edward stood and reached behind me to turn on some music on his laptop. "It's too quiet in here," he said. He seemed to notice my drink was gone then. "Can I get you another glass of wine?"

I grinned sheepishly. "I think I might need it."

"Back in two secs. Er, seconds!"

I laughed at his nervous demeanor after the unintended innuendo.

"It's okay," I said. "Go."

When he pulled the door closed, I leaned forward and held my head in my hands. I knew Jake was boinking some other girl, but actually seeing it hurt more than I could have ever imagined. My mind wandered back to earlier days in our relationship, when we had as much passion as I'd just seen.

_Jake pushing me up against a wall with his hard body._

_Jake nipping at my neck and earlobes because he knew how excited it made me._

_Jake's hands wandering around to grip my ass and pull me against him._

I shook myself out of the memory and stood to wander around Edward's room. I was drawn immediately to the bookshelf. His collection rivaled Rose's and mine put together. There were classic novels, humorous ones, volumes of nonfiction... I noticed with some interest that he had _The Moon is a Harsh Mistress_, a science fiction novel about peopling the moon with criminals and exiles. He also had _Astronomy for Dummies. _I laughed out loud.

"What's so funny? Something amusing about my reading choices?" Edward entered the room, carrying a tray. He'd somehow managed to sneak a whole bottle of wine, a bowl of guacamole, and a basket of chips. "I pilfered some libations."

"Nice use of SAT words," I said, pulling the yellow book from the shelf. "Dabbling in Astronomy now? Did I interest you in exploring a major in science?"

"Something like that," he said with a rather cheeky grin. He took the book from me and tossed it onto his bed. "Maybe you can explain some of the more...head-spinning logic to me."

"Head-spinning?" I asked.

"Yeah. Like wave-particle duality."

"I don't want to talk about that right now."

"Does that mean you don't understand it either?"

"Well, I don't know exactly how to explain it to someone else."

"So that's a yes."

"Yes, I admit that quantum mechanics make my head spin."

"I knew it. You science geeks just make it all up as you go, right?"

I scoffed. "No!" I took a gulp of wine and a smirk spread across my face. "Maybe sometimes."

He gestured for me to sit on the bed with him, the tray of food and drinks between us. "So how long have you been a runner?" he asked.

"Since I was a junior in high school—when I discovered the gene I inherited from Charlie's side of the family. The women tend to grow outward instead of upward."

He laughed. "You don't seem to have a problem with that to me."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, thanks, but it's true. If I didn't work out, I'd be as big as a house."

"I have a hard time believing that."

I shrugged and sipped some more wine. "No one said you had to believe me. I _am_ a rather bad liar, though, so... How about you?"

"I think I'm pretty proficient when it comes to stretching the truth," he said, stuffing a chip into his mouth.

I smacked him lightly on the knee. "I meant how long have you been running?"

"Since I started college. It gets pretty crowded around here. Emmett and Alice are always pestering me about figuring out what I want to do with my life. I needed a way to just be alone and clear my head—not have to answer to anyone."

"That's how I feel about it, too. I love running downtown. It feels so peaceful."

He smiled. "Sounds like we have a lot in common." There was a beat of silence while we munched and drank. "So what's the little brother dressing up as for Halloween?"

"I'm not sure. I think he's narrowed it down to Batman or Luke Skywalker."

Edward's jaw dropped. "He likes Star Wars?"

"Loves it." I smiled. "Gets that little character trait from me."

"You know, it's always been funny to me how kids turn old stuff into something new," he observed. "You were a Star Wars geek too?"

"Are you kidding me? I had the entire playset. Sometimes I made the Ewoks pets for my Barbies."

Edward sagged back against the pillows in laughter. "That's awesome. I had the Millennium Falcon."

We geeked out over Star Wars until there was a knock on the door. Emmett stuck his head in, then entered with Rose following close behind.

"Jake's gone. Bella, I'm really sorry about that. I didn't know—"

I held up a hand. "Don't worry about it."

Rose plopped down beside me, putting her head on my shoulder. Her long, blonde hair was a mess, and she smelled like Sangria. She was definitely drunk.

"How are you, my love?" she slurred.

I giggled. "I'm fine."

"You're not supposed to be drinking," she admonished, taking my third cup of wine away from me and tipping it back, only to find that it had already been drained.

"I know. Sorry. I got a little carried away."

"Say no more," Emmett said, pulling Rose up by her arms. "You two can stay here tonight."

"What? No, I can't—"

"Don't even argue about it. We have a spare room you're more than welcome to use."

I dropped my head back against the side of Edward's mattress. "Okay...I guess."

I looked at Edward, who was smiling broadly in my direction. He'd obviously had a few too many as well.

"I'm taking Rosie here to bed," he said as he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.

She squealed and giggled. "Bye, Bella. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she called out as Emmett carried her from the room.

I snorted. "That's not a very long list."

Edward cracked up. "You're so funny." He reached out and tapped me on the nose.

"Did you just tap my nose?"

"I think I did."

I shook my head and stretched out on the bed. He tossed a pillow at me and I wedged it underneath my head.

"Do you have any pictures of your little brother? He sounds like a pretty cool little dude."

"No. I have about a million on Facebook, though."

Edward grabbed his laptop from the desk and plopped down on his stomach beside me. "Friend me up, Scotty," he said.

I almost snorted wine out of my nose. "Star Trek, too, huh?"

He grinned. "Not since I was little. But I liked the new movie."

I logged into Facebook and searched for him, finding him immediately and noting that we had several mutual friends on the site. "You know Angela?" I asked with a note of surprise.

"Angela?" he asked, peeking at the screen. "Oh, she's in my poli-sci class. She's really nice."

"Yeah, she's sweet," I said, going back to the task at hand. "There. Friend request sent." I went to my photo albums and opened the one from Benji's last birthday party, then turned the computer in Edward's direction.

He clicked through the photos, laughing at a few of the shots of us making silly faces at the camera. "He's cute."

I turned my face toward him slowly. "Did you say 'cute'? I didn't think guys used the word 'cute'."

He shrugged. "I'm drunk."

We messed around on Facebook until we were bored with it. We talked about how we hated the Farmville and zoo and fish crap. When I clicked back to my home page, there was a new line staring me in the face that hadn't been there before. I knew it had been coming. I'd tried to do it myself, but I couldn't face the reality of it. But there it was in glaring black-and-white print, with a tiny pink heart sitting next to it.

_Jacob Black is now single._


	4. Morning After

_A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a $15 casino voucher._

_A good song for this chapter: Blindsided by Bon Iver_

* * *

I awoke the next morning with a horribly stiff neck, groaning and stretching, inhaling deeply through my nose. _Something smells good,_ I thought as I turned my face into the pillow, but I couldn't place the scent._ Lavender maybe? Mixed with a hint of... Man. Smells like delicious man._

My eyes flew open, and I shot up into a sitting position when I realized I was not in my own bed. A toilet flushed to my right, and I heard water running briefly before a door opened. Edward came out of his bathroom, running a hand through his messy bronze hair. Even in his sleep-rumpled, likely hungover state, he was gorgeous.

"Hey," he said in a raspy voice before clearing his throat. "Good morning."

"Morning," I said. "Sorry for falling asleep."

He chuckled. "Who apologizes for that? I must've fallen asleep around the same time as you. Otherwise I would've taken you to bed." His eyes grew wide. "I mean I would've woken you or carried you to the guest room... Never mind."

I giggled at his discomfort, and he shot me a crooked grin that I found _so_ endearing.

"Is anyone else up yet?" I asked, stretching my stiff muscles.

He just stood there staring at me in a daze. I waved my arm. "Hello? Earth to Edward."

"What?" he said, seemingly startled.

"Anyone else up yet?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so. Someone's cooking breakfast."

I took a deep breath in through my nose. It smelled more like something was burning. "Um, who's cooking?" I asked warily.

"I don't know. I haven't been out—"

I jumped up and pushed past him. Emmett's voice boomed down the hall, followed by Rose's distinct giggle. _Oh no. _I stopped at the threshold of the kitchen. They were wrapped up in each other, laughing and kissing while the bacon on the stove burned to an absolute crisp.

"Rose!" I quickly found an oven mitt and grabbed the frying pan off the stove, depositing it in the sink as Edward waved a dishtowel around to clear the smoke. The last thing any of us needed after a night of drinking was to deal with the horrible screeching of the smoke alarm.

"What?" she said, completely oblivious to what was happening.

"What have I told you about trying to cook?"

"Um. Not to?" she said in a tiny voice. "I couldn't help it. Emmett pulled out all the stuff, and I was hoping he knew what he was doing."

"What the hell happened in here?" Edward asked, peering over my shoulder. "You killed the bacon."

I scraped the charred remains into the garbage disposal. "Did you try to make anything else?" I asked.

"We made eggs," Emmett said proudly, gesturing to a large plate on the counter.

I turned and saw a runny, yellow mess. "That's what those are?" I laughed. "Well, Rose, you've managed to meet someone as hopeless in the kitchen as you are."

"Ouch, Bella," said Rose.

"Yeah, Bella. Ouch," Emmett repeated.

"Are you two still drunk?" I asked.

"Morning, beautiful people," Alice sang as she wandered into the kitchen. Her bright-eyed expression quickly turned guarded as she wrinkled her nose. "What is that smell?"

"It _was_ bacon," Edward mumbled. "The last of it, I think."

"Well, that gives us an excuse to go out for breakfast," Alice chirped.

The thought of going out into public made me realize awful I must have looked after the previous night's events. Crying my eyes out, drinking an entire bottle of wine, and sleeping in my clothes and makeup couldn't have made for the world's prettiest Bella. I washed my hands and turned to face the others.

"I should probably get home," I said.

"No way," Alice said. "You have to come with. I didn't get to talk to you last night after the whole Jake thing."

The room went silent, and everyone looked around awkwardly. Edward cleared his throat. "Alice—"

"Oh!" She covered her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry. I sometimes speak before thinking."

I waved her off, trying to appear nonchalant. I didn't feel like hashing out my feelings on the matter with a group of people I'd just met. I'd barely talked to Rose about it, and she was my closest friend.

"It's not like it's a big secret," I said.

"Bella, I promise you none of us knew about you before," said Alice. "I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier on you, but if any of us had known Jake had a girlfriend, Edward would never have introduced him to Charlotte."

My gaze snapped to Edward, whose wide-eyed expression made me hope that he didn't know what Alice was talking about. "You introduced Jake to Charlotte?" I asked in a small voice.

"I..." He seemed to search for some appeasing answer, but he sighed as his shoulders drooped. "Yes. I didn't know how to tell you. I'm really sorry, Bella. I didn't know."

I nodded and swallowed back tears. It was ridiculous for me to feel hurt. Edward was right—he didn't know Jake even had a girlfriend. This was completely Jake's fault. So why did I feel so let down? Even though I'd known him for a very short time, Edward was beginning to feel like something of a security blanket to me. The very idea that he had anything to do with any of it—that he was one of the reasons I felt the need to grasp for security in the first place—was a giant disappointment.

"It's okay," I said softly. "You had no way of knowing." Still, I couldn't help the little bubble of anger that seemed to be working its way up from my abdomen into my throat.

Alice wrapped her arms around my shoulders. What was it with these people and the hugging?

"So, let's do breakfast then," Emmett said, clapping his hands once and rubbing them together. "Waffle House?"

Gagging noises filled the kitchen. "Are you crazy?" said Rose. "I don't eat that stuff during actual daylight hours."

"What is this crazy talk?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

She snorted. "Waffle House is only for states of drunkenness or all-night cram sessions."

"I've never heard such utter nonsense," he sniffed.

Edward chuckled. "Does the pancake place around the corner suit your sensitivities, ladies?"

Alice and Rose agreed, but all I really wanted was to go home and crawl into my own bed.

"I probably look like crap," I said.

"You look fine," Rose assured me.

"Can we leave in ten minutes?" Emmett asked eagerly. He didn't wait for an answer but went to flop down on the couch with Rose next to him.

I avoided Edward's gaze and started toward the hallway bathroom. When I realized what had transpired in that very room the night before, I stopped short. He was next to me in no time.

"You're more than welcome to use my bathroom," he said.

"Thanks," I said. We passed the hall bath and went back to his room.

"Towels and washcloths are on the shelf, and there are extra toothbrushes in the middle drawer. Just call me if you need anything."

"Extra toothbrushes? As in multiple extra toothbrushes?"

He grinned. "Yeah. My mom buys us all this stuff in bulk, and we end up with huge amounts of crap. There's something like nine extra bags of coffee filters in the pantry."

I gave a small laugh and closed the bathroom door behind me. When I glanced in the mirror, things weren't as bad as I'd imagined—just a little mascara smudged under my eyes, which were only slightly puffy. As I scraped my hair back into a ponytail, I contemplated the fact that Edward had introduced Jake and Charlotte. That wasn't the part that hurt. It was the fact that he hadn't told me.

Granted, he hadn't known that the Jake he knew was the same one I knew. But when he found out, shouldn't he have been honest with me? With a shake of my head, I turned on the hot water to scrub the makeup and gloom from my face.

I emerged a few minutes later feeling a little better. Edward was sitting on his bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands folded together. He looked up when he heard me open the door.

"I'm really sorry, Bella. I didn't know."

"I know you didn't." I gave him a small smile. "Really, if he was as bored as he must've been with me, it would've happened one way or another."

"That's ridiculous. Is that what he told you—that he was bored?" He stood and took my hand before I could answer. "I don't think he deserved you. Even though I barely know you, I know you're far from boring. You're funny and kind and intelligent and...lovely. Don't ever let someone like him make you feel any less than that."

I felt heat rise on my cheeks and swallowed. "I... Thank you, Edward."

"Don't thank me. It's the truth, and I think you need to hear it more often."

I grinned, at a complete loss for words.

* * *

"Dude, that's all you're going to eat?" Emmett blurted out as he glanced at my plate.

I looked down at the syrup-laden French toast I was about to dig into. "Yes?" I wondered why it seemed like such a small meal. It was eggy, sugary, carb-loaded goodness.

"Not everyone has the appetite of an entire army, brother," Alice said with a smirk.

Emmett shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth. "I'm a growing boy."

I glanced across the table at Edward, who was watching me with a wry smile. He winked. "Welcome to mealtime with the Cullens."

"My brother Jasper eats a ton," said Rose. "He's tall and stays thin as a rail. I think he has a hollow leg or something."

"Brother?" Alice asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Is he single? Is he cute?"

"He's both," I said. "Devastatingly handsome, actually." There was a time in high school when I'd had a small crush on Rose's older brother. I sometimes still blushed when he teased me like a little sister.

"_Devastating_, you say?" Alice leaned forward. "Rose, you should introduce him to the family. It's only fair for Emmett to have to sweat it out like you had to before meeting us." There was a twinkle in her eye, betraying her ulterior motivation.

"He's out of the country right now."

"He's in Paris, nursing a broken heart," I added, baiting the line further.

Alice's hand flew to her chest and rested over her heart. "Poor thing."

"He's on a business trip. Stop antagonizing the poor girl, Bella."

I held it together until my eyes met Edward's. We both dissolved into laughter.

"I like you, Bella," Emmett said, pointing a slice of bacon in my general direction. "You've got chutzpa."

"Trying to increase your vocabulary, Em? I'm proud of you." Alice patted her brother on the arm and turned her attention back to her stack of pancakes.

I'd never had such an entertaining meal. The rest of breakfast passed in a similar fashion. It sort of made me wish I had siblings around my age; growing up in the Cullen household must've been a riot.

"Do you have brothers and sisters, Bella?" Emmett asked later as we slouched in our seats, patting our over-full bellies and groaning about eating too much.

Edward spoke before I could utter a word. "She has a six-year-old brother. You should see pictures. He looks like a sweet kid."

Emmett turned his head slowly and examined his brother.

"What?" asked Edward.

"Nothing," Emmett said innocently. "I was just wondering where you put your purse."

I snorted. Edward attempted to glare at me, but his face broke into a wide grin. "I mean he looks like a cool little kid."

"I love kids!" Alice exclaimed. "Do we get to meet him?"

"Umm...sure?" Honestly, I was reeling a little from the interest in my little brother. A lot of people my age didn't want much to do with a kid technically young enough to be their own.

"We're taking him trick-or-treating for Halloween," Rose said proudly.

_We? _I raised an eyebrow. "When did you decide that?"

"Don't be silly, Bella," she said with a wave of her hand. "You know he's like a little brother to me, too."

"Yeah...of course..." I turned my confused face toward Edward again, who was watching the scene with an amused expression.

When the waitress came back, Emmett snatched the check from the table and pulled out his credit card. I protested, but he insisted.

"I'm the only college grad with a job here," he teased.

I relented when no one else seemed to mind. As I gulped down the rest of my water, I felt Edward nudge my leg with his foot under the table.

"You want to run with me today?"

"Ugh," I said. "I can't even think about moving faster than a snail's pace right now. Maybe after a post-breakfast nap?"

He laughed and nodded.

* * *

Once Rose and I were back at home, I shed my clothes for some comfortable sleeping shorts and a t-shirt. I was just about to snuggle up to my pillow when Rose bounded into my room.

"So?" she said.

"So what?"

She rolled her eyes and flopped down on my bed. "What did you think of Emmett?"

I grinned. "He's really nice. I like him. And Alice."

"And Edwarrrd?" she purred.

"Geez, Rose. Will you let that go? Edward and I are just friends. I really want to take a nap, okay?"

"Okay," she said. "But before you do, I have to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Do you think I should introduce Jasper to Alice?"

"How should I know? I barely know her."

"You know Jasper."

"And?"

"I know you've always had a crush on him, Bella."

"For crying out loud, Rosalie. That was a teenage infatuation. You have my permission to play matchmaker all you want. Now can I go to sleep, please?"

"All I want?"

"Yes," I grumbled, pulling the blanket over my head.

She trotted eagerly out of my room before I realized my mistake.

"I meant with Jasper and Alice!" I yelled after her. "Rosalie Hale, you'd better be listening to me!"

* * *

I awoke a few hours later, the sun shining brightly through my bedroom window. I smiled and stretched, luxuriating in my warm, relaxed state. My phone vibrated on the nightstand next to me, and I found myself hoping it was Edward making good on his promise to run with me.

I didn't even look at the screen before answering. Big mistake.

"Hello?"

"Bella Marie Swan!"

"Mom!"

"Have you been avoiding your mother?"

"Um, no. I've just been busy lately."

"Is that why I had to hear from Billy Black about you and Jacob breaking up?"

I didn't know what to say. I really had been meaning to call my parents, but up until the day before, the only people I'd talked to were Rose and my professors and classmates.

"I'm sorry, Mom. It's complicated. It's been really hard for me."

"Baby, why didn't you tell me? Is there anything I can do?"

I sighed. My mother always wanted to play the part of the cool, more-like-a-sister mom. Though I loved her, I had always preferred privacy. "No, thanks. I just needed the last two weeks to sort of...grieve, I guess."

"You should try yoga, honey. It does wonders for easing the mind."

I smiled. "Is that your new hobby?"

"Yes. I even enrolled your brother in a kids' yoga class."

"They have those? Didn't think kids would be into that kind of thing. How is Benji, by the way?"

"_Benjamin_ is fine. Did I tell you he's already reading on a third grade level?" Mom went on to gush over how smart my little brother was. I already knew. I'd taught him to read when he was four.

"Now, Bella," she said when she finished raving over Benji's straight-A progress report. "I know you don't want to talk about it right now, but I want to know what happened with Jacob. You know it isn't healthy to keep all that negative energy bottled up inside. You and your father are both horrible about that."

The doorbell rang in the midst of my mother's rambling, and I was surprised to find Edward leaning against the door jamb in running shorts and a t-shirt. I waved him into the house while trying to find a place to break into my mother's one-sided conversation.

"Um, Mom, I have to go, okay? I'll call you soon."

"Okay, honey. Don't forget about Halloween. We love you."

"Me too. Bye, Mom." I breathed out heavily and tossed my phone onto the couch. I turned back to Edward, surreptitiously tugging on my sleeping shorts so they covered more of my butt.

"Hey," he said. "Sorry to interrupt your phone call. I was going to see if you still wanted to run, but I don't have your phone number."

"Um...yeah. I mean...yes, definitely." I ran a hand through my hair, thinking of how unfair it was that Edward had seen me in all my freshly woken glory _twice_ that day. "Sorry. I just woke up, and then my mom called. I'm still in a bit of a fog."

"No problem," he said. "I can come back later if you want—"

"No!" I said, probably a little too eagerly. "I mean it's okay. Just give me a minute to splash some water on my face and change my clothes."

"Okay." His smile seemed to grow a bit as I backed out of the room, unwilling to inadvertently flash him some lower butt-cheekage.

"Sorry I couldn't warn you I was coming over," he called out. "I tried calling Emmett since I knew he was with Rose, but he didn't answer."

"Oh! I guess we need to exchange numbers then," I called back. I quickly changed into leggings and a t-shirt and threw my hair into a ponytail. When I came back out to the living room, Edward was lounging on the sofa, flipping through Vogue magazine.

"Need tips on the new fall fashions?" I asked as I sat down to put on my running shoes.

He tossed the magazine back onto the coffee table. "Actually, I think fall fashions come out in the spring."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"My sister's a fashion major, remember?"

"Uh-huh." I finished tying my shoes and hopped up. "Ready to go, Mr. Lagerfeld?"

He indicated his black running shorts and Rolling Stones tee. "Come on, now. Do I _really_ look like Mr. Fashion?"

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Let's go then, Mr. Difficult."

"I prefer Cullen, thanks."

"Do you always have to have the last word?" I joked as we descended the stairs and started stretching out for our run.

"Yes."

"Well, so do I, so that's going to be a problem," I said, shoving him lightly.

We started down the street at a light jog. "So did you have a good time last night?"

"Yeah, I did. Despite seeing...him with her."

"I'm really sorry about that," he said for what seemed like the hundredth time.

We were quiet for the next mile or so, content to listen to our iPods as we fell into a natural rhythm together. When Edward spoke again, I sort of wished he hadn't.

"I feel very guilty about introducing them."

"I really don't want to talk about it anymore," I said. I wasn't mad, just tired of the subject.

"It's just that I want you to know I never would have done it if I'd known—"

"Edward!" I shouted. "It's fine. You didn't know. The only party at fault is Jacob."

"Sorry," he said again.

"Stop apologizing, Mr. Difficult."

"It's Cullen."

"First name 'Last Word'?"

"No, that's my middle name."

I snorted and admired his wide grin from my peripheral vision. "Funny. It's mine too."

The conversation ebbed and flowed during our trek down to the Battery and back to my house. We were obviously both in sarcastic moods, teasing one another good-naturedly as we huffed and puffed over the last mile.

When we reached my front lawn, we stretched a little bit and I invited him up again for a glass of water.

"So," he said after gulping down a full glass and pouring himself another one. "You talk in your sleep."

I almost drowned in my mouthful of water, sputtering and coughing as Edward patted me on the back.

"You okay?"

I nodded and rubbed my warm face, thankful that the redness could be blamed on the long run in the heat instead of my blushing. "What did I say?"

He chuckled. "It didn't make a whole lot of sense. There was something about zombies, then you starting moaning. I hope your brains didn't get eaten."

Last night's dream came rushing back to me. "There _were _zombies! I completely forgot about that."

"Did you get away from them?"

"Yes."

"And? The suspense is killing me," he said, biting back a laugh.

I'd hoped he wouldn't ask me that, having just remembered the details of my dream. There was a love interest involved—one that I shouldn't have been having those kinds of feelings for. I was rather embarrassed about it and mentally blamed it on the wine.

"Well...everyone killed all the zombies, and we all lived happily ever after."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"What about the moaning part?"

"Um... I don't know. Maybe I rolled over on something in the middle of the night."

He raised an eyebrow. I knew he knew there was more to the dream, but I wasn't taking the bait.

"What are you doing the rest of the day?" he asked.

I sighed. "I have some homework to do."

"Could you possibly be persuaded _not_ to do the homework?"

"You're a bad influence, aren't you?"

He raised his hands, palms up. "If Rose is hanging out with Emmett today, I don't want to be home when...ya know..."

I laughed. "Okay. So what do you want to do instead?"

"Uh...we could watch a movie or something."

I shrugged. "Sure. DVDs are in the cabinet by the TV. I'm going to use the little girls' room."

When I came back, he was lounging on the sofa with the remote and another glass of water.

"What did you pick?" I asked, tucking my feet underneath me.

"You'll just have to wait and find out, won't you?"

I threw a small pillow at his head. "Why do you have to be so—"

"Difficult?" he finished with a smirk.

I jumped when the opening chords of the DVD's musical introduction resonated through the room.

"Geez, Cullen, are you trying to make my eardrums bleed?" I shouted as I grabbed the remote and turned the volume down several notches.

"Sorry. I don't know how your remote works." He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow.

"You're good with the double entendre, aren't you?" I teased, snatching the remote from his hand. The DVD menu was on display, and I giggled when I saw what he'd picked.

"Do you watch musicals often?" I asked.

He shrugged. "This one brings back good memories. My mom was always playing them when I was a kid. She was constantly singing the best songs from her favorite movies."

"And _My Fair Lady_ was one of her favorites?"

"She used to sing 'I Could Have Danced All Night' while she did housework."

"Cullen, are you sure you didn't grow up in the Cleaver household?"

"Shut it, you," he mumbled as he settled down into the cushions to watch the opening number.

I marveled briefly at how comfortable I was hanging out with Edward, even in gross, sweaty clothes after an eight-mile run. I missed most of the movie thinking about how much I liked him and how quickly our friendship had settled into an easy, casual bond.

Before I knew it, the movie was over. Edward stood and stretched, his t-shirt rising up a little to expose the v-shape that led down into the waistband of his shorts. I blushed and looked away.

"Guess I'd better get going," he said. "You're probably sick of me by now."

"Nah, not too bad."

"If that's the case, how would you feel about grabbing some dinner with me?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Feel free to let go, now," he deadpanned. "Don't hold back your excitement on my account."

I folded my hands in front of my chest and batted my eyelashes. "Yes, Edward Cullen. I'd love to go to dinner with you. It would make my week. Better?"

"Much. I'm going home for a shower." He bumped his shoulder into mine as he passed me for the door.

"Wait!" I cried before he got very far. "You still don't have my phone number."

"Oh, yeah," he said, taking his phone out of his pocket. I put my number into his phone and called it so I'd have his.

"See you in an hour then?" he asked.

I nodded. "See you then."

As I closed the door, I wondered at the warm feeling that had rushed through me when his bare forearm had brushed against mine.

* * *

_A/N: In case you weren't sure, Mr. Lagerfeld=Karl Lagerfeld of Chanel fame. He also owns his own label and apparently Fendi as well, which I didn't realize. You learn something new every day. _


	5. Trick or Treat?

_A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own tickets to see Les Miserables (the live musical, not the movie)._

_A good song for this chapter: Be Here Now by Ray LaMontagne_

_On with the show..._

* * *

"Do you like Thai food?" Edward asked over the phone without so much as a "hello."

"Uh, who doesn't?"

He chuckled. "I'm right around the corner. I'll be there in about two minutes."

"See you then." I tossed my phone into the purse sitting on my dresser and went outside to wait on Edward.

The air was beginning to cool, a light gust of air caressing my face as I sat back in the rocking chair, closing my eyes and enjoying the mix of sun and breeze. It was that time of year when the weather did whatever it wanted—stiflingly hot one day, nice, cool and autumnal the next.

When I opened my eyes a few seconds later, Edward's car was pulling up to the curb. I jumped up and bounded down the stairs to meet him as he got out of the car and opened the door for me, ever the gentleman.

"You look nice," he said when he was settled back behind the wheel.

"Thanks. So do you." I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen Edward in something other than running clothes. I let my eyes wander upward from the jeans that fit him oh-so-well to the simple black button-down shirt he wore. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and I couldn't help but admire the way the muscles in his forearms flexed and relaxed again as he drove. _You're staring, Bella. Stop it, _I chastised myself. I quickly averted my gaze, clearing my throat.

"We could have walked, you know," I said. "Basil's not far from here."

"It's okay," he said. "I don't mind driving. Maybe we can go somewhere else afterward."

It took less than five minutes to drive to the restaurant, but it took another ten to find a parking spot. Street parking downtown was hard to come by, especially after six p.m., when parking meters became irrelevant.

"Ha!" Edward shouted when he spotted someone pulling out of their parallel spot across from the restaurant. "Patience pays off."

"Yeah, but if we'd walked, we would already be seated and ordering drinks." I grinned deviously, and he rolled his eyes.

"Well, we're here now, _Miss_ Difficult," he said, using the nickname I'd graced him with earlier that day.

We exited the car and quickly crossed the street. A hostess opened the door for us, making googly eyes at Edward, and another one greeted us from behind a podium.

"Good evening," she said, her gaze moving from the table map in front of her to me first, and then Edward. I thought her eyes would fall out of her head once she got a good look at him. A slow smile spread across her face, and I was pretty sure she leaned over the podium just to flaunt her cleavage. "I'm Kayla. Will it just be the two of you tonight?" Her voice had lowered an octave.

"Yes," Edward answered, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Just the two of us."

_Kayla_ turned her now disdainful gaze to me. I smirked and raised an eyebrow at her, knowing how Edward's arm around my shoulders looked to the casual observer. She grabbed menus and turned away haughtily, not even motioning for us to follow.

I snorted and Edward squeezed my shoulder. He leaned in and whispered, "I don't think she likes me very much."

"On the contrary," I said. "She likes you _very_ much. It's me she doesn't like. Good thing she's not our waitress. I might end up with rat poison in my food."

Edward laughed and pulled my chair out for me as we arrived at our table. "M'lady," he crooned with a sweeping gesture.

Kayla tossed the menus down on the table and stalked away. We laughed together quietly as she retreated. Our waiter approached a moment later, placing glasses of water in front of us, and we ordered beers and spring rolls.

Edward took a drink from his water glass before leaning forward on crossed arms. "You know, when I got home this afternoon, Alice wouldn't stop badgering me."

"About what?"

"Rosalie's brother."

I laughed. "Why on earth is she so interested in Rose's brother? She's never even met him."

"She says she had a dream about meeting him this afternoon when she took a nap. He whisked her away to Wisconsin, where they were married by a Buddhist monk and lived happily ever after on their burrito farm."

"What the hell is a burrito farm?"

"I asked that, too. She wasn't sure."

We laughed together as we tended to do and made small talk while we waited for our food. Dinner was amazing, the company equally so. I hadn't laughed so much in a long time. I'd started to notice these little things that I had been blinded to before...with Jake.

I hated that he intruded on my thoughts while I was having such a great time with Edward. But all I'd done lately was think. It had been two weeks since Jake had dropped the bomb, and I'd just started to emerge from depression. Seeing Jake with Charlotte the night before, while sickening and painful, had sort of sealed the deal.

I'd been doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself. I knew it was only natural to feel miserable after being abruptly dumped and hastily replaced. To be honest, it cut me to the quick, and for the last two weeks, my heart had been in a perpetual state of brokenness. It literally hurt. I'd heard about it in songs, read about it in books, but I had never known heartbreak actually felt exactly how it sounded.

But each time I saw Edward, it seemed as though the constant pressure in my chest was alleviated a little more. I wondered at the almost instant calm that washed over me when I was with him. I was beginning to crave his presence, and that scared me a little bit, unwilling to cling to him like a security blanket. He was so much more to me than that. I _wanted _him to be more than that.

With that realization, all thoughts of Jake were gone. The anxiety turned to butterflies and tingles. It was such a relief. I sighed happily and was almost positive that I relaxed outwardly as well, as Edward gave me a wide, encouraging smile. His approval made me feel lighter.

* * *

On Halloween, I honored my promise to let Edward accompany me to take my brother trick-or-treating. As soon as we stepped in the door, Benji flew across the living room and attached himself to my leg.

"Bellllaaaaa!" he shouted.

"Hey, little guy," I said with a smile, leaning down to give him a tight squeeze and kiss on the cheek.

"You mean Anakin," he said, backing away so I could see his costume. He nodded at Edward. "Who's that?"

Kids. Straight to the point. I looked over my shoulder to see Edward lurking in the doorway and gestured for him to come closer.

"Benji—er, _Anakin_, this is my friend Edward. When I told him about your costume, he was so impressed that I invited him to come trick-or-treating with us. Is that okay?"

"Wow, that's some get-up. That's a really cool light saber you've got there," Edward said as he crouched down to Benji's eye level.

The darn kid raised one eyebrow and looked up at me. "Bella, do you think Jake would approve of this?"

My jaw dropped. "Uh..." I was at a total loss. "Well, Jake isn't—"

I heard a throat-clearing noise from the kitchen doorway and looked up to see my mom standing there shaking her head, eyes darting back toward the kitchen.

"Hey, Anakin, is that a real, working light saber?" Edward asked, diverting Benji's attention so I could see what was going on with my mother.

As I approached her and got a view of the kitchen table, I saw exactly why she'd been trying to warn me.

_Jacob. _

He sat in one of the wooden chairs, looking uncomfortable if not a bit sheepish.

"Hey, Bells."

I immediately started to shake. Disbelief flooded me. He had the audacity to show up at my parents' house? And calling me by my old nickname? My blood boiled. "What are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice above a loud whisper.

He scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I promised Benji a while back that I'd go trick-or-treating with you guys."

I shook my head vigorously. "No. No! You can't just disappear from my life and show up a month later to—"

"Relax," he said. "I figured you wouldn't go for that. I just came to see his costume so he wouldn't be disappointed. I helped him pick it out."

My gaze shot to my mother, who was still standing in the doorway, watching the scene play out before her like a bad soap opera. She shrugged. "Ben said he needed a man's opinion, and your dad's been so busy with work..."

I threw my hands up in disbelief. "What the hell is wrong with this picture?" My voice had risen an octave, but I was tired of trying to keep to hushed tones. I pointed at Jacob. "You. Outside."

I stomped through the kitchen and pushed my way out the back door, stalking as far from the house as I could. Jake followed without hesitation. I wheeled about and poked a finger roughly into his chest.

"How dare you?"

"How dare I? Bella—"

"Who do you think you are that you can cut me out of your life and then waltz right back in again? Do you know how much you hurt me? Do you know that I was practically a zombie for two weeks?"

"Bella, I'm sorry—"

"I don't want your apologies. I want you to leave. What makes you think you can just carry on with my family as if they were yours?"

"You know I've always thought of them as my family too. I can't just—"

"What, leave them the way you left me?"

He closed his eyes. "I regret it. So much. I didn't just come here to see Benji. I was sort of hoping we could talk tonight."

Rage surged through me, but I took a deep breath to keep from screaming and hitting. "About what?"

He grabbed my hand. "I'm really sorry about what I did. I know I can't take it back. But I still love you, Bella."

I found myself shaking my head again, backing away from him until I hit the wooden fence.

"I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you so much."

Did he really think he could yank me around like this? Did he expect me to fall on my knees in gratitude? "Why? Did you get tired of your new toy?" I spat.

"I... She wasn't ready for anything serious."

I barked out a sardonic laugh. "Oh, really? Maybe she just realized you'd probably end up cheating on her, too."

I noticed without remorse that his eyes were wet. "Forgive me, Bella. Please—"

"Please what?" I stared at him in disbelief, but he held his pathetic stare. It dawned on me after a minute. "No way. You can't be serious."

The whole thing struck me as ironic. I'd pined away over him, and now that I was finally becoming whole again, here he was, asking me to forgive him.

And I couldn't find it in me to care.

He started to move toward me, but I put my hands up to block him. "Jacob, don't do this."

"Why did you bring Edward here? Are you...with him?"

"That's none of your business."

He placed his palm against my cheek. I felt nothing and knew I was doing the right thing. I slapped his hand away quickly and forcefully.

"Bella, we belong together. Look at the history we have."

"There's a reason it's called 'history,' Jacob. Because it's in the past. I can't forgive what you did."

His jaw tightened. "You know he introduced Charlotte and me, right? Did he tell you that?"

"As a matter of fact, he did. Don't try to drag Edward through the mud for this. _You_ are the one that failed to mention to him that you had a girlfriend. _You_ are the one who made poor decisions, and _you_ are the one who broke up with me." I jabbed my finger into his chest to emphasize each point. "You don't get to waltz back into my life and play the sympathy card. And you certainly don't get to touch me and try to manipulate me."

"_Manipulate_ you?" His voice had risen an octave. "What the hell are you talking about?"

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I'm finished with this conversation."

He grabbed my arm when I tried to walk away. "Well, I'm not."

"Let. Go. Of. Me," I growled through clenched teeth.

Jacob had the decency to look ashamed. I backed toward the house, away from him.

"If you know what's good for you," I said, "you'll say your goodbyes and leave. I'm here to spend time with _my_ family, and I won't have you bringing me down." I spun around on my heel and hurried back to the house.

I tried my best not to slam the kitchen door in my fury, and then stood in the middle of the room with my eyes closed, trying to calm myself with deep breaths and happy thoughts. I could hear Edward talking with my mom and Benji about school, Star Wars, and all the candy my little brother was about to collect.

"I hope you don't think you're eating bunches of candy tonight, young man," my mother was saying as I entered the living room.

"Aw, Mom! I promise it won't make me hyper."

I laughed, and the three of them turned from their perches on the couch. Edward stood. "Everything okay?" he asked.

I nodded and gave him a genuine smile, the sight of him bringing a sense of calm over me once again. My tensed muscles started to relax. _What is this? _I wondered for the thousandth time. He never failed to inspire this weird tranquility. I wanted to fall into my jumbled thoughts and try to sort it all out, but there was a very eager six-year-old eyeing me at that moment.

"It's fine. Benji, are you ready?"

"Uh, I think he's been ready since he got up this morning," Edward said. "Right, Anakin?"

"Yes. Please can we go now?" He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes, and my heart melted a little bit. I laughed. I was impressed by the speed at which Edward and Benji had seemed to bond, especially in light of the fact that Benji had always been Jake's number one fan. My brother was intuitive when it came to new people and their intentions; it spoke volumes that he had taken to Edward so quickly.

Jake came in behind me then, and I wondered what had taken him so long. I'd almost expected him to chase after me when I left him standing in the backyard. Instead, his shoulders were slumped, and he had a general air of defeat about him. I was shocked to find his eyes glassy and red-rimmed. He hugged my mom and brother goodbye, and if I wasn't mistaken, he may have thrown a glare in Edward's direction.

Edward looked at me in confusion. I shrugged.

When Jake was gone, my mother looked at me with an almost accusatory stare. "Bella, what did you do to that poor boy?"

My eyes grew wide, and my face felt hot. That was it. I felt like a tea kettle, sure there was steam billowing out of my ears.

Edward grabbed Benji by the hand and led him out the front door. "Come, young padawan. Let's get a head start on all that candy-grabbing."

I couldn't have been more thankful for him in that moment. I felt like I was about to blow a gasket. Luckily, I was able to hold it in until Edward and Benji were out the door and down the driveway.

"What the _fuck_, Mom?" I shouted.

She gasped. "Isabella Marie, you do not curse at your mother! What has gotten into you lately?"

I growled in frustration and stomped around the couch to stand in front of her. "Why do you automatically assume that Jake's and my breakup was _my_ fault?"

"He just looked so dejected. And I'm pretty sure he was crying, and you're not. You're don't seem very upset about it."

I rubbed my temples and breathed deeply before I said or did anything I regretted. "You didn't see me for those two weeks after _he_ broke up with _me_. I was a zombie. I went to class every day, came home, and went to bed. I barely ate. It took Rose threatening me with bodily harm to finally leave the house and feel like a human being again."

"I'm sorry, honey, but if you were so upset, why can't you forgive him now?"

"You knew that was why he was here?"

"No, but I suspected as much. He knew you were going to be here tonight, and he hasn't been around in weeks."

I sank onto the couch, leaning forward with my head in my hands. "I don't want to be with him anymore, Mom. I can't even stand to be around him."

She finally started to act like a mother should and rubbed my back soothingly. "But you two have always been inseparable. Why the change of heart?"

"He did something that I just can't forgive yet. I don't even think I'll be able to look at him as a friend again." I sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mom. It's just...been a really difficult time for me."

"Bella, what did he do?"

I hesitated, unwilling to go over it yet again, but at the same time I found that I wanted her to know. "There was another girl," I said simply.

She hugged me close. "Oh, honey. I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

I pulled away after a moment. "It's fine."

"It's not fine," she countered. "I can't even begin to imagine how that feels."

"I'm over it," I told her tersely. "It's been a month now. I've accepted it and moved on with my life."

"What about this Edward? Are you dating him?"

"He's a friend. He's done a lot to help me through everything. Rose is dating his brother, and his sister Alice is really nice."

"Well, I'm glad to see you making new friends. For a while there, it seemed you only had Jacob and Rosalie."

I nodded; she was right. Something I'd realized during my month of soul-searching was that my life had revolved around Jacob. We had gone straight from best friends to a serious relationship. All our friends were just that—_our_ friends. The only semi-neutral person in my life was Rose. I knew I needed to branch out and start making my life my own.

"He seems like a good guy," Mom said.

"He is."

The front doorknob jiggled, and I expected Edward and Benji to peek in, impatient for me to join them. Instead, my dad entered the living room in full uniform.

"What are you doing here, Dad?" I asked, rising to hug him around the waist. "Thought you'd be out scaring off little punks about to egg houses or TP trees."

He chuckled. "I'm officially on patrol, but I wanted to stop by and see Ben all dressed up. Turns out I didn't need to come all the way home. I saw him down the street with some guy. I know I've raised the boy to know better than to go with strangers. This guy your new boyfriend?"

"He's just a friend, Dad."

"Sure. That's what they all say."

I rolled my eyes. All this insinuation of there being something more than friendship between Edward and me... Was that really how it looked from the outside? I bit the inside of my cheek, suddenly anxious. Edward was an amazing person—not to mention gorgeous—and in the time I'd known him, he'd never once mentioned any other girls. I sighed and pushed my thoughts aside.

"I'm gonna go catch up with Benji and Edward," I said, hugging my parents, and then stepped out into the slightly chilly night.

Luckily, they were only about six houses down the street. "I thought you guys would've gotten further than this by now!" I said, ruffling Benji's hair.

"I'm using Jedi mind tricks to get more candy."

"Ah, I suppose that does take longer."

Benji took off down the driveway. I started to follow, but Edward touched my elbow lightly. "Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah."

"Let me guess. You don't want to talk about it." He grinned cheekily.

I punched him lightly in the arm and smiled. "You know me so well."

We followed Benji down the street at a leisurely pace, stopping at the end of each driveway while he ran up to front doors and collected enough candy to last him until the next Halloween.

We didn't say much as Benji went running up and down driveways and sidewalks. It was a comfortable silence, and I was grateful for his presence. But I couldn't stop my mind from wandering back to my parents' backyard. I couldn't believe the nerve of Jacob Black, showing up when he knew I'd be with my family. It was an ambush. That was exactly what I meant when I called him manipulative. He knew I didn't go around announcing that he'd cheated on me. He'd probably been counting on the fact that I hadn't told people the reason for our breakup. I felt anger rise in my chest again, and my face heated quickly, the warm tingle rising to the tips of my ears.

"Bella, are you sure you're fine?" Edward asked again. "You look a little flushed."

"I'm just so angry," I whispered.

Edward's face fell, and he put an arm around my shoulders. "It's okay to be angry."

I took a deep breath, and his familiar scent acted as a catalyst to further calm me. "But I don't want to be. I don't want to be that resentful, cynical girl that got dumped."

He put a hand on each of my shoulders and turned me to face him. "You're not, Bella. You couldn't be further from that. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: he doesn't deserve you. Anyone lucky enough to have someone as wonderful and...just...beautiful as you and not appreciate it is just...stupid."

I blinked. "You think I'm beautiful?"

He dropped his hands from my shoulders and stuffed them into his pockets. "Well, yeah."

Benji ran up then, holding his stuffed-to-bursting candy bag out to us. "Look at all this! It'll last me at least a whole week. Do you think Mom will let me have some tonight?"

I pulled my gaze away from Edward, who was now rolling a rock around on the ground with his foot, staring blankly down at the ground.

"That's quite the stash, dude. Maybe she'll let you have a couple of pieces before bed." I took Benji's hand as we walked back toward the house.

"You know, even though I'd rather have candy, I think it's kind of cool that the Webers give out boxes of raisins. I like raisins. Maybe Mom wouldn't mind so much if I had raisins instead of candy before bed."

I half-listened to him ramble about who gave out what types of candy, but I was acutely aware of the absence of Edward's voice. I couldn't turn off my thoughts. _Does he regret saying what he said? I'm sure he didn't mean it to be...romantic. He was just trying to make me feel better. Friends do that for one another. I wonder if he thinks I took it the wrong way. Maybe he thinks I think he's interested in more than friendship. Maybe that's why he's being so quiet..._

When we arrived back at the house, Benji excitedly showed Mom his loot and pleaded with her to let him have some.

"You may have two small pieces," she said. "And then it's bath time."

"Aw, but I want to hang out with Edward some more," he said with a pout.

I laughed. "What am I, chopped liver?"

"You're cool, but Edward's my _new_ friend. We need some bonding time."

I shook my head, wondering where he got this stuff, then looked over to see Edward still standing quietly with his hands in his pockets. "I think Edward is pretty tired, buddy."

He went over and knelt next to Benji. "Tell you what—maybe we can convince Bella to take us to the aquarium or something next weekend. We can hang out then."

"Yeah!" Benji shouted. "Can we, Bella?"

"Sure," I said with a shrug. "If it's okay with Mom." Though I may have seemed calm on the exterior, my internal girly-girl was swooning over the fact that Edward wanted to spend time with my little brother and me.

We made plans and said our goodbyes. Mom hugged me extra hard and whispered again that she was sorry for jumping to conclusions. I shrugged and told her it was okay.

By the time we were back in Edward's car, he seemed fine again. Music played quietly while we chatted as though nothing had happened. During one of the longer pauses in our conversation, I recognized the song playing on the radio.

"Hey, it's that song I heard the first time I was in your car. Band of Horses?"

"Hmm?" He seemed distracted as he merged onto the interstate. "Oh, yeah. I made this CD for you. I stuck it in here so I would remember to give it to you," he said.

"You made it for me?" I repeated dumbly.

"Yeah. I was listening to my iPod one day and this song came on, and I remembered you liking it...that day. So I thought I'd put it on a CD for you."

_He made me a CD_. _With the song that was playing when we first met._ And he'd told me I was beautiful. I was dumbfounded. Maybe there really was something to all this disbelief everyone seemed to harbor about us being "just friends." I brushed it off quickly, too tired to think about it.

I grinned at him. "Thanks. No one's ever made me a mix tape before."

He burst into laughter. "Classic. Now I wish I'd found an actual cassette tape."

I was just happy that he seemed to be in a better mood. We fell back into our usual banter, chatting and laughing until we reached my house.

"Did you want to come up and hang out for a while?" I asked.

"Actually, I'm kind of tired. I think I'm gonna go home and hit the hay."

"'Hit the hay?' What are you, sixty?"

He grinned. "Yes. I'm a very young-looking sixty. Run tomorrow?"

"Of course."

We made plans to meet at nine the next morning, and I climbed the stairs to my apartment to find it empty. I had mixed feelings about being alone. While I was a little relieved for some alone time after being hounded all evening, I was also afraid of my own thoughts. I decided a long, hot bubble bath with a good book would be the best course of action for the night.

I started the bath, popped Edward's CD into the player, and sunk blissfully into the old claw-foot tub. Of course, as soon as I settled into the suds, my phone vibrated with an alert. I left it alone, resolving to treat myself to a night of solitude. No email, no texts, no phone calls—just me, some lovely music, a glass of wine, and a good book. I was reading _A Tree Grows in Brooklyn_ for what was probably the eighty-fourth time in my life.

But I deserved a little indulgence, damn it.


	6. Walls

_A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a 12-pack of Diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale. :)_

_A good song for this chapter: Burning Photographs by Ryan Adams_

* * *

The infernal buzzing noise wouldn't stop.

It sounded like a bee had somehow gotten into my room, but I fell asleep again before I could figure it out. Some time later, the buzzing woke me again. I threw the covers off and rolled over to discover the source of the noise: my phone vibrating away on the nightstand.

It seemed to be buzzing at regular intervals. Rolling over onto my side, I grabbed the phone and unlocked the screen to find out what the hell was so important that someone was texting me before noon on a Saturday.

_Five texts. Thirty-seven emails._

_Excuse me? _I checked to make sure I hadn't inadvertently gotten my phone confused with someone else's. There was no way I'd have thirty-seven emails unless my spam filter just quit working.

First there was text from Rose from the previous night: _Just wanted to let you know I won't be home tonight._

Another text from Rose: _Emmett wants me to meet his parents. Eep!_

I giggled at that one. They'd love her, of course. Everyone loved Rose. Nevertheless, she'd freak out about it until the day arrived.

The next two texts were from Jacob. _Great_.I thought we'd said everything we needed to say the night before.

_Did you change your email address? _

_WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING MY EMAILS OR TEXTS?_

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. I didn't know how I could make it any clearer that I didn't want to talk to him. We were through, and I was tired of talking.

The fifth text was from Edward. It said simply, _Run?_

I quickly texted back a yes_. _Then I took a tentative peek at one of the thirty-seven emails.

_Bells,_

_Remember that first night? Our first kiss? I could actually feel you blushing when I touched your face. Your sweet blush is one of the things I love most about you._

I closed my email and squeezed my eyes shut again before I could read any more. The email was a classic example of Jake's manipulative side. The words made my heart ache, but I also knew what he was trying to do. It only served to make me angry all over again.

_Fuck this, _I thought, sitting up and furiously punching buttons on my phone, deleting each and every email without even reading them. I wouldn't play his stupid games. I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of a negative answer.

I flung the covers off and stomped into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and gathered my hair on top of my head, then stomped out to my dresser to pull out some running clothes.

I was fuming. While sadness had been my state of being a few weeks ago, it seemed that _mad_ was now my default emotion.

I was trying to calm myself by gulping down water and attempting to put everything out of my mind, when Edward arrived for our run.

"What's up?" he asked as I followed him out onto the front lawn.

"Nothing," I answered.

"You're all red."

"Am I?"

"Yeah." We stretched out on the grass.

"I...guess I was hot when I woke up."

He raised an eyebrow that said, _Yeah, right._

He didn't say anything, acting as though it were none of his business. But I wanted it to be his business. I wanted to be able to pour my heart out to Edward and have him tell me what to do. But I wasn't that type. I was the type of person who kept everything inside, reluctant to bother other people with trivial crap. Now I found myself wanting to fall into his arms and tell my sob story while I, well, sobbed.

We ran in silence for a bit, but I finally broke.

"He said he was sorry," I blurted out before I could think about it.

"Who?"

"I woke up to thirty-seven emails this morning, and I'm pretty sure they're all from him." I peeked over at Edward. His mouth was set in a straight line.

We jogged along in silence for a few minutes. Then Edward spoke hesitantly. "Please tell me if I'm overstepping my boundaries here, but what does he want from you?"

I shook my head. "I didn't read the emails."

"What about last night?"

"What about it?"

Edward huffed and slowed to a light jog before stopping abruptly. "Bella, you can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"That! You can't keep everything bottled up inside and evade every question. _I'm fine_ only works for so long. You're so closed off to everyone."

I wanted to hit him yet simultaneously wished he'd just take me in his arms and comfort me the way he'd done before. Angry tears pricked at my eyes. "I thought... Edward, you're supposed to be the one person in my life that didn't bother me with all this stuff."

He snapped his head back, shock and hurt registering on his face. Only our heavy breathing filled the air as he ran a hand through his slightly sweaty hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was _bothering_ you."

"Edward, I—"

He held up a hand. "No, it's fine. I don't want to bother you anymore. Let's finish this run."

"That's not what I meant," I said in a quiet voice, looking down at my feet.

"I want you to be able to open up to me, Bella. For the past month, I've been watching you war with yourself. You might think you're good at keeping it in, but it shows all over your face. You think this is all your fault. You feel like you're not good enough."

"Don't tell me how I feel!" I snapped, choking on a sob. "You have no idea what it's been like. My entire life changed in the five minutes it took for him to tell me he was _fucking _some other girl."

Edward winced, but I raved on.

"Yeah. I said it. That's what he was doing. I was in shock. Even now, when I see something that reminds me of the past or the future we were supposed to share, I feel like there's a hole in my heart. But when you're around, Edward..." I trailed off, covering my mouth and holding back tears. "You make me forget about things. You distract me from it all. You're—you're the best friend I've had in a long time." I struggled to keep my breathing even but failed miserably.

Edward's expression softened into something that looked like resignation, and he pulled me into a tight hug, rocking slightly from side to side. I let the tears fall.

"I'm sorry," he said in a low voice. "I just hate to see you like this."

I laughed humorlessly. "I feel like this is the only way you've ever seen me."

"It's understandable."

I shrugged and pulled away, wiping my face with the back of my hand. "I want to move past this so badly. I'm not even sad anymore. I'm angry."

"I know you are. I wish there were something I could do to help."

"You've done so much, Edward."

He shrugged, one corner of his mouth turning up. The half-smile wasn't very convincing; his lips were pulled into a grin, but his jaw remained clenched, his shoulders tense.

I really didn't have anything else to say—nothing I was willing to say at the moment anyway. "Wanna head back?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Let's walk for a bit." His voice was strained.

Instead of being comfortable, companionable like usual, the silence weighed heavily as we walked back toward my house. It was the same scene as the previous night. Edward tried to get me to open up, I shut down as always, and we endured a tense return to my place.

_Why am I so emotionally stunted?_ I wondered. It wasn't that I didn't feel things to the very depth of my soul, because I did. I felt things so intensely but could never find the words to explain them.

I hated the silence. I hated that Edward seemed so tense. I wanted that easy banter that had somehow eluded us that day. Searching my head for something light to talk about, I realized Thanksgiving was less than a month away. It seemed like a safe topic to me. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Big family dinner and all that?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Mom and Dad host a big thing for extended family every year. You?" His tone had a forced lightness to it, and his fingers were clenched into tight fists at his sides.

_Change of subject successful, tension _not_ dissolved_. "Same. Well, not the extended family part. My parents are both only children. But we always do a big dinner with family friends."

The blood drained from my face as I realized who was included in that group of friends. Billy and Jake.

Only the previous night had I begun to think about how the breakup would affect our families. Dad and Billy were best friends. Billy's wife Sue had two children from her first marriage, Seth and Leah. How would things be now? Had Jake introduced them all to _her_? I felt a little sick at the prospect of that. God knew I wanted nothing to do with Jake anymore, but his family was like my own. We'd grown up together. I used to call his dad Uncle Billy, not even realizing until I was in middle school that he wasn't actually my uncle. How would it be now? Would the tribulations of their children cause a rift between our parents?

I breathed in deeply through my nose and pushed the spent air out again through my mouth. "Can we run again?" I asked, breaking the renewed silence.

Edward's head jerked in my direction, as though I had drawn him out of some deep thoughts of his own. "Uh, shin splints. You go ahead, though."

I hadn't realized he had a problem with shin splints. Maybe he did; maybe he didn't. But this new, seemingly forced interaction between us was something I didn't want to face at the moment. So I did what I did best. I ran. I ran hard and fast, both physically and figuratively.

* * *

Edward didn't come up to say goodbye. I knew because I checked after my very quick shower to see if his car was still there. It wasn't. I'd planned to go outside and wait for him, but he'd either walked very quickly or had been lying about the shin splints. _Please don't let him be angry with me, _I thought.

I sat down in a rocking chair on the porch, pulling my feet up and wrapping my arms around my legs. My head rested on my knees as I closed my eyes and tried to feel nothing. There were too many emotions to process at once: residual anger toward Jake, sadness over the effect it had on our families' friendships, and worry over Edward's reaction to my unhappy disposition. I concentrated instead on the gentle breeze ruffling my damp hair, the sound of the occasional car passing by, the smell of fall that had begun to linger in the air. They lulled me into a passive state. Minutes—hell, it could've been hours—later, I heard someone ascending the stairs. I expected them to stop at the second landing, but the footsteps kept coming.

"Bella?"

Rose. I opened my eyes to see her standing beside my chair, looking a little worried.

"What are you doing out here? It's getting chilly." She indicated my shorts and t-shirt. "You're going to catch pneumonia."

"It's not that cold yet," I said. "It feels nice. What are you doing here?"

A slow smile spread across her face. "I live here, babycakes."

"I mean, I thought you'd still be with Emmett. It's Saturday."

"He and Edward decided to have a guys' night." She raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm assuming by Edward's state when he got home that it will include a lot of drinking in a dive bar."

I sighed heavily and stomped my feet on the porch's old wooden planks, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, hands in my hair.

"Did something happen between you two?"

"No! I don't know. Maybe." I felt so frustrated. The last thing I wanted was to hurt Edward. I knew it wasn't fair to keep holding back as we grew closer, but it wasn't just him. I held everyone at arm's length. Even Rosalie hadn't been privy to my inner struggle.

I looked up to see her studying me expectantly, but when I didn't say anything else, she shrugged and turned to open the front door. Then her face brightened. "Hey! I've got some good news. Maybe it'll cheer you up."

"Okay," I said, following her inside.

She paused for dramatic effect, because she was Rose and that was what she did. "Jasper's coming home!"

She was right. The thought of seeing him did cheer me somewhat. Jasper was like a brother to me, and he'd been away for three months. "Awesome. When?" I asked.

"Wednesday. You'll come with me to pick him up from the airport, right?"

"Of course! I'm excited to see him."

"There's something I want to ask you, and you can feel free to say no if you're not comfortable with it. It won't hurt any feelings at all." I nodded and she continued. "Jasper's lease was up on his apartment before he left. He wasn't sure how long he'd be gone, so he just put everything into storage. Since he doesn't have a place to stay right now, I thought I'd offer him my room. I'll stay with Emmett while Jas looks for a new place."

I shrugged. "Fine with me. You and Emmett are pretty serious if you're staying with him for a while, huh?"

The smile that broke out over her face was so radiant that I found myself wearing one of my own. "Yes. I love him."

I couldn't help but be surprised by her declaration. "You two have already had that talk?"

She nodded. "We're having dinner with his parents Monday night, and he's already asked me to spend Thanksgiving with them. I think he might actually be _The One_." She tilted her head to the side, a dreamy look on her face that was patently Rosalie Hale. "They always say that when you know, you know." She sighed. "Anyway, enough about me. How have you been? We haven't talked a whole lot lately."

I grimaced. "I'm not sure you really want to know."

She raised an eyebrow. "I definitely want to know. Does it have anything to do with Edward's mood this afternoon?"

"I guess it sort of does...in a way." I pursed my lips and bit the inside of my cheek, then sighed heavily. "Jake was at my parents' when we got there last night."

"What?" she screeched. "Why the hell?"

"He said he wanted to see Benji in his costume. But then he admitted he was there to talk to me. There was this whole—" I waved my hands around in the air. "—thing. I got angry, and he got sad."

Rose leaned forward, eyes flashing. "What did he say?"

"He wanted me to give him another chance."

Rose gasped. "That bastard!"

"He said Charlotte didn't want anything serious and that he regretted breaking up with me. I didn't fall for any of it."

"Good. I'm really glad you didn't let him get to you. Now what about Edward?"

"What about him?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're not getting away with that here, dollface. Let's try that again. What about Edward?"

I blew a puff of air upward to get my hair out of my face. "He took Benji outside while I talked to my mom. When I caught up, he asked if I was okay, and I said I was fine."

"Of course you did. And I'm sure he didn't buy it."

I gave her a small smile and shook my head, remembering the uncharacteristic tense set of his jaw, and the way we couldn't seem to fall back into our normal banter.

"What happened then?"

"He...was really quiet for the rest of the night. He said he was tired." I didn't want to tell her about him telling me I was beautiful. I couldn't even think about it. Saying it out loud would make it real. I wanted to ignore it and assume he'd meant it in a purely friendly way. After today, though, I wasn't so sure that was the case. There was no way I was admitting that to myself, let alone anyone else.

"Oh, Bella." Rose sighed. "I'm sure he's just worried about you. It's hard to watch you go through this."

I chewed the inside of my cheek, a nervous habit of mine.

"We're not finished talking about this, but I know it's upsetting you and I want us to be happy. I invited Alice over for a girls' night since Emmett and Edward are going out. I thought we'd watch movies and eat junk food and veg out."

I smiled for what felt like the first time in twenty-four hours. "I could definitely use some junk food and girl talk."

An hour later, that was exactly what we were doing. We gossiped and giggled while we stuffed our faces with cookies and some sinful gourmet cupcakes Alice had picked up on her way over. I had to admit I felt worlds better.

I twisted apart another Oreo as Alice regaled us with stories from a Halloween party hosted by one of her classmates. "You'd think a bunch of art school students would be more imaginative with their costumes," she said. "But most of them were boring. Witches, pirates, girls with their butts hanging out of little booty shorts and their boobs spilling over too-small corsets. And so many vampires."

I shook my head and stuffed another Oreo into my mouth.

"I heard your Halloween was eventful, Bella," Alice said.

"Yeah, I don't really want to talk about that anymore. I'm finished with him. I'm done talking about him and thinking about him." I hoped she didn't think I was being a bitch, but she seemed to take it in stride.

"Have you performed the ritual yet?" she asked.

Rose shook her head. "I know for a fact that she hasn't."

I looked back and forth between them, completely perplexed. I had no clue what they were talking about until Rose stood and grabbed a box from the dining table and plopped it down between us.

It was full of pictures. Jake and me at the beach, at parties, on vacation with my family. Rose and I had emptied all my photo albums and picture frames earlier in the day, throwing all photographs that included him into a box.

"We're going to burn them," she said with a nod, as though the subject were closed.

"Yep," Alice agreed. "You can't ever get over a guy properly until you burn all the evidence."

"What?" I started to panic. "You can't do that. This house is old. _Really_ old. And it's made of wood. People really do this?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "We're not really going to burn them. We're using the shredder. But still."

"Why can't I just throw them away?" I asked. I didn't want to look at every single photograph and relive memories that had been so happy but were now painful. I didn't want to actually _watch_ my former happiness being shred to bits by sharp little teeth and spit out into the trash can below.

"It's not cathartic to just throw them away," Alice explained. "You might change your mind and take them out of the trash later. And trust me, you don't want to do that."

My eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. Why was I keeping the pictures anyway? I was past the point of pulling them out and mooning over what was and what could have been. I steeled my resolve and sat up straighter. "Okay. Let's do it."

Rose grinned and dragged the paper shredder over from the corner. I had to admit, it _was_ cathartic seeing the pictures being eaten by the machine. It wasn't painful at all. I felt good. With every whir and click of the shredder, a little more weight lifted from my chest. It was odd, yet very satisfying.

* * *

On Monday evening, I called Edward to see if he wanted to go for a run, but he'd already gone that morning. It was a very short conversation, as he claimed to be in the middle of writing a paper. We didn't see each other Tuesday or Wednesday either. It wasn't abnormal, really; we didn't run together every day. We both had classes and homework and other commitments. Still, I couldn't help but feel like he was avoiding me. I told myself I was just being paranoid.

On Wednesday evening, Rose and I drove to the airport to pick up Jasper. He was all smiles and hugs when he met us at the baggage claim.

"How are my two favorite girls?" he exclaimed, picking Rose up in a brotherly bear hug.

"Great!" she said.

Jasper slung his arms around both our shoulders and told us all about Paris as we waited for his bags, collected them, and made our way to the car. "Have you two already had dinner?" he asked. "Airplane food is awful."

"It's only six," Rose replied. "We haven't eaten. Anywhere in particular you want to go?"

"I'd love some Five Guys," he said. "A good old American burger sounds really good."

At the restaurant, Rose waited until we were seated around a round table with greasy burgers and fries to go in for the kill.

"So," she said after taking a sip of her Diet Coke. "Brother dear. How would you feel about a blind date?"

"Uh, no," he said with a snicker.

"Oh, come on. It would be a group thing with all of us on Friday."

"Alice is great," I interjected. "So cute. And she's got an awesome sense of humor."

"Sense of humor, huh? Why do people always jump straight to that when they try to set people up?" Jasper laughed.

"She's beautiful," Rose insisted. "And she's Emmett's sister."

"Oh, gross, Rosalie!" he exclaimed. "That's like incest."

"It is not!" she protested.

"What if you and Emmett got married? It'd be like dating my sister-in-law."

"Technically," I said, "you wouldn't be related at all."

"It happened in _Emma_!" Rose said.

"A piece of fiction written two centuries ago," Jasper argued.

"It's just dinner, Jasper," I said. "It doesn't have to be an official date. Edward and I won't have dates."

He sighed and chewed his food thoughtfully. "Fine. I'll go. But only because I want to meet the guys who have made you two all googly-eyed."

"Rose is the only googly-eyed one around here. Edward is my friend, and that's it."

"Okay," he relented. "Dinner with friends."

Rose squealed and dramatically threw her arms around her brother, attracting the attention of the other diners. She went on about how she couldn't wait for Jasper to meet Emmett as I ruminated quietly on Jasper's "googly-eyed" comment. I wasn't googly-eyed. Why did people keep assuming there was something going on between Edward and me? Edward was quite the catch, but he had also become my best friend. I'd taken that step before. There was no way I'd ruin another friendship by trying to turn it into something romantic. I knew I'd used Edward as something of a crutch, but I truly needed his support. I couldn't bear to think of losing him. I shook myself out of my thoughts. No, there was no way I was losing another best friend.


	7. Resolve

_A/N: I say it all the time, but nowforruin is amazing. She pushes me to be a better writer. This chapter came really easily to me for some reason, and I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you'll enjoy it too! _

_A good song for this chapter: Search Your Heart by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson_

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The rest of the week went by without a word from Edward. I was beginning to worry that he really was upset with me. I wasn't so stupid as to actually believe that he'd just been in a bad mood last Saturday morning, but I had done a really thorough job trying to convince myself. By Friday afternoon, I still hadn't heard anything from him, even though we were supposed to go out for the group dinner that night. I really hoped that he was just busy and hadn't had time to call, or answer my texts asking if he wanted to run with me.

Other than that, it had been a great couple of days with Jasper as my roomie. I'd never known that he was such a great cook, but he made some amazing meals for the two of us. Even though he'd just arrived Wednesday, he had already treated me to three homemade meals–breakfast and dinner Thursday and a great brunch Friday, since I didn't have class until early afternoon.

"Some girl is going to be insanely lucky to marry you one day," I said between bites of French toast and fresh honeydew melon. I chewed and swallowed before giving him a slow grin. "Hopefully Alice."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Give it up. I still think it's weird for a brother and sister to date another brother and sister. Meeting new friends is fine, and I'm sure that's all this will be. Otherwise, there's no way I'd be going tonight."

"It'll be fun," I told him as I got up to rinse my plate in the sink. "I promise."

What was _not_ fun was the Calculus test I was bumbling my way through two hours later. I somehow worked my way through it and finished at the same time as my friend Angela Webber. We walked out of the building together, chatting about our weekend plans and enjoying the crisp, early November air. Then she surprised me by bringing up Edward's name.

"I didn't know you knew Edward Cullen," she said. "I saw him under the mutual friend thingy on Facebook. And then Ben and I saw the two of you running down the Battery last week."

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. "We met about a month ago."

"And?" she prodded, shooting me a knowing smile.

"And we're friends."

"Friends? Like _very good_ friends?"

I laughed. "Not the type you're thinking of, no. We've developed a close, _platonic_ relationship."

"Oh, come on. The guy is sex on legs. Haven't you even thought just a little bit about it becoming not-so-platonic?"

For some reason, I found it easy to concede this point to Angela. I'd known her since we were freshmen, when we'd lived across the hall from one another in the dorms. "I'm not blind. He's definitely gorgeous. But we're just good friends."

"I'll believe you for now, but it's only a matter of time. Ben and I were 'just good friends' at first too."

I shrugged and changed the subject to the Physics class we also shared. We parted ways in front of her Bull Street apartment, and I was relieved that her questioning and prodding hadn't led anywhere. _Why is everyone so intent on conjuring up some romantic story between Edward and me? _I thought as I continued my walk home. _People don't just go from one serious relationship to another within a matter of weeks. _

_Do they?_

I climbed the stairs to my third-floor apartment to find a bundle of pink tulips sitting neatly on the front doorstep. I smiled to myself. It didn't matter who they were from or what the occasion; a lovely bunch of flowers was always a welcome sight. I also harbored hope that these particular flowers were from Edward. I couldn't think of anyone else who would drop a bouquet off at my front door. God knew the last thing I needed was some secret admirer. I shuddered at the thought.

Maybe Jasper had one. I laughed softly to myself, suddenly in a brighter mood, and reached down to scoop up the ribbon-wrapped stems. A tiny envelope was tucked in between two buds. Sure enough, there was Edward's handwriting. Something about seeing my name in his script struck a chord within me. I brushed it aside and opened the front door, dropping my messenger bag on the floor, and took my flowers into the kitchen for some water. Only after they were situated nicely in my grandmother's antique crystal vase did I allow myself to open the envelope I'd been clutching since its discovery.

_To my best friend,_

_I've been an ass. Forgive me? _

_-Edward_

I smiled again at the short note that was purely Edward, but knew that there would undoubtedly be more talking, rehashing, and apologizing on both sides. And I found myself actually looking forward to it. It had been almost a week since I'd seen him, and I didn't like how that felt. I knew that I had to open up and let him in, but it was hard to change that avoidance thing that had always been my coping mechanism. It wasn't as though I wanted to push people away or cut them out of life. I'd just always been an avoider of open emotion. It was going to take a huge effort on my part to try and change that.

x-x-x

At seven o'clock that evening, Jasper and I were dressed and leaving the house to meet the others at Meritage, a tapas bar that Alice had picked for dinner. The others were driving, but Jasper and I walked since it was just a few blocks away, as most downtown places were from my apartment. We shared details about our day. Jasper told me he'd found a promising place across the Ashley River and was considering putting an offer in to buy it. I told him about the killer Calculus test I had. Then he brought up the inevitable "big brother talk."

"So I saw the flowers on the counter," he said, giving me a sideways glance. "Were they from Jacob?"

"No! Any flowers from Jacob would've gone straight into the dumpster."

Jasper laughed, and I told him they were an apology from Edward.

"What did he have to apologize for?"

"Nothing. It was silly, really. We had a little bit of an argument last weekend, and we haven't really talked since then."

"And you say you guys are just friends?"

I nodded, looking down at my feet and trying to focus on not tripping over any cobblestones.

"You know not many guys send flowers to girls who are 'just friends.'"

"Why not?" I asked quietly. "We're close friends. Close friends do things like that, right?"

"Not to be a dick, but I wouldn't send you flowers if we'd had an argument."

"That's different. You've known me forever."

"Yes, I have. I know how you prefer to ignore things and forget that they happened instead of rehashing. And that's why I think maybe you're missing something here."

"I'm not missing anything," I whispered, stopping a few yards away from the restaurant and looking up at him. "I'm just not ready to deal with anything else yet."

He gave me a sad sort of smile. "I'm really sorry that you had to go through all that mess. And I understand not wanting to deal with other emotions. But you've got to get it through your head that none of the Jacob mess was your fault."

I jerked my head back up to look him in the eyes, but before I could say anything he continued. "I've known you forever, remember?" He tapped his temple with a finger and then pulled me into his side as we walked the remaining block to the restaurant's entrance.

Rose, Emmett, and Alice were speaking with the hostess when we walked in.

"There you guys are!" Rose exclaimed, pulling us both into hugs. She took Jasper by the hand and situated him in front of Emmett and Alice. "Jas, this is my boyfriend Emmett."

They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, then Rose gestured dramatically toward Alice. "And this lovely lady is Alice."

Jasper turned to Alice, and I saw a slow grin spread across his face. "Hi, Alice," he said, sticking his hand out for her to shake. "I've been looking forward to meeting you."

Rose and I exchanged surprised looks, knowing that his feelings about meeting Alice had actually been the opposite of what he'd just expressed. Alice smiled shyly up at him as they shook hands. "Shy" was a very uncharacteristic trait for her. I shook my head and turned to more pressing matters.

"Where's Edward?" I asked Emmett tentatively as he hugged me.

"He wanted to drive himself. Said he had something to do after dinner. He should be here any minute."

I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed that Edward would be leaving us after dinner. I had been looking forward to spending time together with the whole group. He still hadn't arrived by the time we sat down, but I was rather enjoying watching Jasper and Alice. She seemed to have gotten over the shy act already, and was hamming it up as each told the other about themselves. I shot Rose a conspiratorial grin.

Just as we were ordering our drinks, I spied Edward walking across the restaurant. The butterflies in my stomach started going crazy when I realized both how excited I was to see him, and how amazingly...delicious he looked. I let my eyes roam over his form-fitting t-shirt and jeans. When my eyes met his, there was a smile lighting up his face that made my heart swell.

"Bella," he said when he neared and placed his jacket over the back of the chair next to me. I smiled, knowing instantly that everything was okay between us.

He sat and ordered his drink, and then turned to back to me.

"Thank you for the flowers," I said before he could get any other words out.

"You're welcome," he said. "I'm sorry for acting the way I did."

My first instinct was to tell him not to apologize, and to just forget the whole thing. But my new resolve to open up and share won out. "I'm sorry too." I shrugged. And just like that, things were back to normal.

Though hopefully this "normal" was less of a struggle for me to keep the walls up, and for him to try to tear them down. Edward and Jasper were introduced, and the group conversation turned to Jasper's house hunt. Alice kept Jasper at the center of attention with all her questions about Paris. Edward and I kept smirking and raising eyebrows at one another while Alice would giggle and place her hand on Jasper's arm.

Dinner was great, and it was wonderful spending time with both my oldest and newest friends. But when the bill was paid and the wine was drunk, my heart sank a little, remembering that Edward had somewhere else to be afterward. He seemed to notice the change in my demeanor. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, trying to brighten my smile. "I had a good time."

"Take a walk with me?" he said suddenly.

I looked up at him in surprise. "I thought you had somewhere to be. Emmett said you drove yourself because you had something else to do after dinner."

He nudged me with his shoulder. "I just wanted to be able to spend some time with you without everyone else around. Maybe talk a little."

I blushed. _He drove by himself just so he could spend time with me? _I was a little confused, but also glad. Not talking to Edward for a whole week had me tied up in knots, and now I wanted to remain in his calming presence for as long as possible. The others decided to go back to the Cullens' house for more wine and beers. We bade them goodbye and started walking down East Bay Street, passing by the area we called "The Black Hole," where all the touristy bars and clubs were located. We quietly made fun of the barely-dressed, fake ID wielding girls and the preppy frat boys looking to score.

When we reached Waterfront Park, we slowed our pace as we strolled down the pier. I shivered at the cold breeze coming off the water. Edward put an arm around my shoulders. "Cold?"

"A bit. I like this time of year, though."

"They say we're in for a colder winter than normal," he commented.

"Hm."

There was a little awkward silence when we came to the end of the pier. "Wanna sit?" he asked.

I nodded and we perched on one of the large benches, looking out across the harbor, the lights from the Ravenel Bridge and the Yorktown illuminating the gently rocking water.

"I really missed you this week," I found myself whispering.

He squeezed his arm more tightly around me. "Me too." Then he sighed. "Look, Bella. I'm really sorry that I tried to push you into talking about something you weren't ready to talk about. It was selfish of me. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I don't want our friendship to feel forced. But I also want you to feel like you _can_ talk to me about things."

"I already do," I said. "I've been thinking a lot this week too, and I know it's not healthy to bottle everything up inside. I realize that it hurts my friends when I shut them out. I'm really sorry for that." I never took my eyes off the huge old ship anchored across the harbor. I was afraid that if I looked anywhere else, I'd lose my resolve. If I looked at him, I'd cry. I knew this, because it was perfectly clear to me now how he felt. And I was beginning to feel the same things. In the darkness, snuggled together in this semi-romantic setting on a cold night, I could almost imagine myself giving in to the inklings of yearning in my heart. I could almost give in to those warm tingles where we touched. If I turned my eyes from their steadfast focus point, I knew the carefully constructed facade would collapse.

So I stood and went over to the railing, leaning against it and blinking to rid my eyes of the slight sting. The sting that I told myself came from the biting, salty breeze.

"Did Alice tell you that we had a photograph burning party?" I said.

He snickered. "You burned photographs?"

"Technically, we ran them through the paper shredder," I said, turning back to him with a smile, feeling stronger now. "I thought it was silly at first, but it was actually pretty cathartic. And I deleted all those stupid emails without even reading them. I'm so finished with the sadness and the anger. I'm ready for a fresh start."

He smiled brightly, genuinely, and came to stand beside me. "I'm so happy to hear that, Bella."

I hoped that my cheerful demeanor covered up the last bit of sadness inside that I was feeling. It wasn't for Jacob, and it wasn't for lost dreams or futures. It was for Edward. It was because I knew I couldn't risk hurting him. I couldn't risk things ending badly with him like they had with Jake. Even if I had decided to let him in, I couldn't open my heart to him in that way.

He was so much more relaxed than the last time I'd seen him, right before I ran away from the tension and frustration he'd been exuding. He seemed to have a new kind of resolve as well. I wondered what he was thinking, but was afraid to ask.

I was thankful when he changed the subject. "How's it been living with Jasper? He seems like a nice guy."

"He is," I said with an enthusiastic nod. "And he is an _amazing_ cook." I groaned thinking of that morning's French toast.

"I've been known to cook up a good meal or two in my time, you know. How about I cook for you sometime?"

"Why, Edward Cullen, are you jealous of my cook-slash-manservant?"

"Oh, so he's a manservant now?"

"Well, he's been doing all the housekeeping stuff since he feels bad about forcing Rose out of her room."

Edward snorted. "Uh, I hardly think it's such a hardship for Rose. Suffice it to say, I've started wearing earbuds to bed."

My laugh was loud and happy. "That bad, huh?"

"It's so good to hear you laugh like that." He brushed away a strand of hair that had blown across my face. The gesture didn't make me feel uncomfortable. His face held only friendly regard, with no trace of romantic endeavor.

"Well...thanks, I guess. It feels good to laugh like that." I folded my arms across my chest, pulling my thin jacket more tightly around me as another gust blew across the water.

"Ready to go home?" he asked.

"Yeah."

The conversation as we walked back to his car was much lighter. As the night wore on, more girls teetered out in their stilettos and barely-there dresses, and more drunken frat boys stumbled after them. I giggled at the fake stories Edward made up about each group we passed. Before I knew it, he was holding the passenger door of his car open for me.

"Have you still been running in the mornings?" he asked me.

"Actually," I said. "I've been going in the early evening. It's too cold in the mornings now."

"That's why I haven't run into you. I was afraid you were avoiding me," he teased.

I scoffed. "I think you were the one avoiding me."

"You're right. And I'm sorry."

"Let's stop apologizing, okay?" I said. "Let's call a truce and just get on with it."

He nodded slowly as he drove us back to my house. "So do you want to run tomorrow evening then?"

"Definitely. It's been sort of boring without my running partner," I said with a grin. "I wonder how things are going with Alice and Jasper. They seemed to hit it off pretty quickly."

"Yeah... So he's a good guy, then?"

"He's a great guy. You have nothing to worry about." I figured that if they were all drinking at the Cullens' house, Jasper would stay over in the guest room. _Or maybe in Alice's room, _I thought with a giggle.

"What's so funny over there?"

"Nothing. Hey, do you want to come up and watch a movie or something? You know, so you don't have to go home and be the fifth wheel."

He agreed, and we spread out together on the couch, tuning to the classic movie channel. _The Philadelphia Story _was just beginning, so we settled in for a comfortable evening. I loved that Edward shared my penchant for classic movies. We laughed quietly in the same places, and I constantly sighed over Cary Grant. By the time Katherine Hepburn was being carried into the house by Jimmy Stewart after imbibing several bottles of champagne, my eyes felt heavy. The last thing I was aware of before I drifted off to sleep was the throw blanket being tucked around me more snugly. I sighed dreamily again and snuggled into the soft cushions for the deepest, most restful sleep I'd had in a week.

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_A/N: Congratulations to uscmam on winning me in the Fandom Gives Back auction. We're working on which scene(s) she'd like to see from EPOV. If you're nice, maybe she'll share them with you. ;) Thanks for reading! _


	8. A Moment

_A/N: If you guys like this chapter, you owe nowforruin so so so so so many thanks. It was going in a completely different direction, but I love how it ended up. :) I heart her so hard! You know who else I heart hard? You guys, for reading. :) _

_Good song for this chapter: Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap_

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I woke up slowly and tried to roll over to check the time. It proved to be a difficult task, since I seemed to be snugly cocooned in a blanket. As I managed to untangle myself from the blanket, I wondered why I was still in the jeans and top I'd worn to dinner the night before. Then I remembered falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie with Edward.

_Is he still here? _I wondered, finding myself hoping that he was. But as I pushed myself up, I felt a crinkling underneath my hand. It was a piece of paper with Edward's handwriting on it.

_Bella, _

_You looked too peaceful to wake up. You didn't even stir when I carried you to your bed, so I figured you needed the sleep. Call me when you wake up?_

_Edward_

I sighed, smiled, and stretched before making my way into the bathroom. _Ew. Eye makeup all over the place. _Once I was showered and re-dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved top, I took a cup of coffee, my Calc homework, and my phone over to the window seat. Before I could even bring up Edward's number, my phone blasted Rosalie's ringtone.

"Hey Rose," I answered.

"Hi!" she chirped. "Alice and I were wondering if you'd want to go shopping with us today. Only seven weeks left to buy all those Christmas gifts."

"Seven weeks, huh? I didn't realize the countdown was on yet. But I guess it'd be nice to get a jump on the shopping before finals."

"Yay! We're getting ready right now. We'll pick you up in thirty minutes."

Rose hung up without saying goodbye, and I laughed at her usual enthusiasm before dialing Edward's number. He answered after about a ring and a half.

"Hello?" he said breathlessly. I wondered what he was up to that would make him sound like that.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey, Bella," he said. "I was just thinking about you. Did you find my note?"

"I did. I'm sorry for falling asleep. You could've stayed, you know."

"I don't think that would've been such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"It's just... I wasn't sure what you'd think if you woke up and I was still there."

There was a lapse in the conversation as I thought about how much I would've liked for him to be there this morning.

He cleared his throat, interrupting my thoughts. "I enjoyed spending time with you last night."

"Me too." I found myself blushing. "I didn't talk in my sleep again, did I?"

He laughed. "Not this time, unfortunately."

"So what are you doing today?"

"I guess Emmett and I are going golfing with my dad and uncle. At least that's what I've been told."

I loved his happy-go-lucky nature, the way he went with whatever was suggested without argument. "Are all your weekends planned out by your family?"

He chuckled. "Sometimes. What are your plans for the day?"

"Shopping with Rose and Alice."

"Sounds like a blast."

"I'm actually very interested to hear about the rest of their evening," I told him. "And it'll be nice to not do my Christmas shopping at the last minute for once."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to get me?"

"Hmm. You'll have to wait and see. I have to get some studying done before I'm whisked away by your sister and future sister-in-law."

"Ooh, better not let Emmett hear you talking like that."

"Rose seems to think it's pretty serious."

He laughed. "I was just kidding. Go do your homework. Want to run later?"

"Of course. Call me when you get home."

After we hung up, I went over to the stereo and played the CD Edward had made me. I tried to concentrate on Calculus, but got lost in the lyrics of the Iron and Wine song that was playing.

_Sometimes I'd just like to ask her _

_What honest words _

_She can't afford to say_

I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the window sill. My heart ached as I let those words sink in. He hadn't put obvious love songs in the mix. They were all very subtle. Some weren't love songs at all. But they all had these little lines that told me exactly how he felt. How had I not realized this before?

I was interrupted from my reverie by Rose and Alice, their cheery voices carrying up to the third floor apartment before they had even finished climbing the first flight of stairs.

"Bella!" Alice squealed when they entered the room. "I'm so happy you're coming with us. We've got lots to catch up on, you know. Like where you and Edward wandered off to last night after dinner."

"Mmhm. And where is Jasper this morning?" I asked.

She blushed. _I made Alice Cullen blush? Do I really want to know what happened last night?_

"Please, no details!" Rose begged. "He's my brother."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "As if we haven't been subjected to Emmett's and your escapades every night. That house may be pretty new, but the walls still aren't that thick."

I giggled at both of them, relieved that Rose and Emmett spent most of their time at the Cullens' house. The walls in our apartment were even thinner, and there was no way I wanted to hear any of these "escapades."

"Let's get out of here," I said, gathering my bag and a light jacket. "We can talk while we shop."

"So where _did_ you and Edward go last night? He must've gotten in pretty late, because we didn't see him until this morning," Rose pointed out as we walked out of the apartment and down the stairs.

I shrugged. "We just went for a walk. Then we came back here and watched a movie. I fell asleep on the couch. End of story."

"Did he sleep on the couch too?" asked Rose.

I told them about the note and how he'd apparently carried me to my bed and tucked me in. "Seriously, I felt like I woke up in a straight jacket."

They giggled, then Alice sighed. "He cares about you so much, Bella."

I bit the inside of my mouth and remained silent.

"He really does," Rose said. "Everybody can see it."

"I know," I whispered. "I...care about him too. I just can't get into anything serious right now." It was the first time I had admitted it aloud. It felt...freeing. Everyone had to know that there was chemistry between Edward and me. I knew I was probably the last person to realize that what we had was much more complicated than close friendship. My heart rate picked up as I began to panic again.

They both looked at me in astonishment. Rose threw an arm around me as we stopped at a crosswalk. "At least you're finally acknowledging it."

I glanced at Alice, who was beaming. I knew she was close with her brother and wanted to see him happy. Which meant she wanted to see us together. My eyes widened. "Alice, please don't say anything to him," I pleaded. "This is something I've got to work out by myself. I'm trying to open up to him more. But I have to do it on my own terms."

She nodded, bit her lip, and then threw her arms around me. "I love you, Bella."

It was my turn to giggle. "I love you too, Alice. But I'm serious about this."

"No interfering," she said. "Scout's honor."

"Me neither," Rose interjected. "We'll be silently cheering from the sidelines."

I opened the heavy door to Urban Outfitters as I rolled my eyes at them both. "I don't know about the 'silent' part, but thanks for staying on the sidelines."

I sincerely hoped they didn't try to interfere. I felt like the proverbial deer in the headlights. And now that I'd confessed to maybe feeling something more for Edward than I was letting on, I knew the number of headlights trained on me would only grow. I didn't know if that would help nudge me in the right direction, or encourage me to turn tail and run. I hoped it would be the former, but I knew my tendency was to do the exact opposite of what everyone else wanted me to do.

It was stupid, though. This wasn't some minor decision. This was huge. I pretended to rifle through a pile of t-shirts as I took a deep breath and admitted it to myself once and for all. _Edward means so much more to me than just a friend. And he has made it clear that he cares deeply for me. _

I was going to try everything within my power to make myself believe that I could let go of my fears. I would talk to him. Eventually...

x-x-x

By the end of the day, all three of us were laden with shopping bags. Rose had called Jasper and asked him to pick us up so we wouldn't have to lug them all back to the house on foot.

"Thanks so much for doing this," Alice said to Jasper, looking up at him from underneath her lashes.

He pulled her to his side and whispered something into her ear that made her giggle. I had no desire to know what he'd said, though I could guess pretty easily. It was amazing how Jasper had gone from "no way, no how" to "yes, please" overnight where Alice was concerned.

We loaded our shopping bags in the trunk and climbed into the car. My phone rang as we drove toward the house; I was expecting it to be Edward, but "Mom" flashed on the screen instead. I decided to call her back later, not wanting to be rude. My mother could talk forever when she called.

"Why don't you guys come over to our house tonight, and we'll order some pizza or something?" Alice suggested when we pulled up to the house.

"Or Jasper could make us one of his fabulous meals." I grinned at him slyly.

He shrugged. "I could do that."

"Oh, we wouldn't want to put you on the spot," Alice said.

"Nonsense," I spoke for him. "I'm sure he can't wait to show off his skills for you, Alice."

"He already did this morning," she replied. Then she blushed when she recognized the double entendre. "I mean, he made us breakfast..."

I knew I was digging my own grave by teasing her, but she _had_ promised to leave things alone between Edward and me.

Jasper and I agreed to meet them at the Cullens' after swinging by the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for whatever meal he would concoct for us. When we were home and my packages were set aside for wrapping–which I would probably put off until Christmas Eve–I called my mom back.

"Bella!" she enthused. "How was your dinner last night? How did Jasper like Alice?" As always, she got straight to the subject.

"It went very well. They really hit it off."

"And how's Edward?" There was a suggestive note to her voice.

"He's good."

"Good. And you? How are _you_ doing?"

I paused and bit my lip. _Good question_, I thought. I hadn't really had time to stop and think about the revelation I'd had while listening to Edward's CD earlier. "I'm actually doing really well."

"I'm so proud of you, honey. I know the thing with Jake took a lot out of you. I'm glad you're getting back to your old self."

"Thanks, Mom." I had to smile at her encouragement. "So what's up?"

"I was calling to talk about Thanksgiving." She paused. That was never a good sign when it came to Renee Swan. "Your dad and I have been talking about the possible discomfort of our usual dinner...the uncertainty about what details Jacob's family knows about your breakup..."

"Don't worry about it, Mom. I wouldn't do or say anything to make it uncomfortable for anyone."

"Actually, you won't have to worry about it. You know how we promised Benji that we'd take him to Disney World once he turned six?"

"Yeah..." I said warily.

"Well, we thought this might be a really good opportunity for that. He'll have the week off from school, and so will you, and it'll be a really great little family vacation."

"Uh, Mom? I don't really know if I'm up for Disney World."

"Really? Don't you think it'd be so much fun to see Benji there for the first time?"

"It's just that I'm going to be really stressed about finals, and you know how I hate crowds..." I trailed off with a sigh. I really hoped that she'd understand. As much as I loved my little brother, there was no way I was going to spend a week of free time with Mickey Mouse when I could be spending it with Edward Cullen.

My jaw practically dropped open. _Did I really just think that? _

"Okay, honey. I understand. Just think about it, okay? I don't want you to be alone on Thanksgiving."

"I'll think about it, but I really don't see it happening. And I won't be alone. I'll have Rose and Jasper."

"And Edward?" she hinted with a chuckle.

"And my textbooks and notes for finals," I corrected.

She laughed again. "We're making our reservations on Monday, so let me know for sure by then. I'm in the middle of cooking dinner, so I'm going to have to let you go."

"Okay, Mom. Love you. Talk to you soon."

"Love you, Bells."

x-x-x

Luckily, that evening at dinner Alice informed us all of the open invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at her parents' house.

"Mom said you're all welcome. She's looking forward to meeting you, Bella. And now Jasper, of course," she said.

"After this amazing dinner, I say Jasper should be recruited to cook all of Thanksgiving dinner," Emmett raved, rubbing his belly.

Jasper grinned. "Hey, I don't mind at all. But I'm sure your mom would take issue with me taking over her home."

"She would," Edward said. "She's a control freak when it comes to her kitchen."

"She's a control freak when it comes to most things," Emmett joked.

"But you love her guts," said Rose. "You know you're a mama's boy."

He shrugged. "I never claimed not to be."

"The oldest, yet the clingiest," Alice agreed. "He used to hold her hand everywhere we went."

"It got really embarrassing once he hit high school," Edward teased.

"Shut it. I did not," Emmett grumbled. "Anyway, I'm not the one who slept with a blankie until I was in eleventh grade, _Edward_."

I giggled. "You did not!"

He blushed and sputtered, "Well Alice carried a stuffed kitten around everywhere she went!"

Alice wasn't fazed at all. "I'm a girl. It's okay for girls to do that sort of thing."

It was then that Rose decided to join in. "Bella still sleeps with a teddy bear."

My eyes widened as I turned my head slowly to gape at her. "Rosalie Hale! Since when am I subject to this sibling rivalry?"

The rest of them stared at me, and I cleared my throat. "I'm not ashamed to admit that I sleep with a teddy bear. I've had it my entire life, and there's no way I'm getting rid of it. Anyway, it just sits on my bed next to my pillow. It's not like I snuggle with it."

Edward cocked his crooked smile at me. "I think it's cute."

I crossed my arms on the table and leaned my forehead on them. "Ugh. I don't even have any embarrassing dirt on Rose or Jasper."

"I think that's enough teasing," Jasper said, interrupting whatever Rose was about to say. "How about we crack open some beers and play some cards?"

After the table was cleared, we sat around it playing a game of Phase 10. I sucked at card games, so I wasn't really all that into it. I mentioned the Disney World trip over Thanksgiving and explained why I probably wouldn't go.

"Disney World is fun!" Alice said excitedly. "It doesn't matter how old you are."

"And wouldn't it be fun to experience it all with Benji?" Rose added.

I shrugged. "I just don't like the crowds and stuff. I'd rather use the time off from school to actually relax and get some studying done for finals."

"If you don't go, you can just come celebrate Thanksgiving with us," Edward said with an obvious casualness.

I hadn't mentioned anything about going with them before when Alice had given the open invitation. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I raised an eyebrow at him, but relented and said I'd think about it.

x-x-x

A couple of weeks later, Rose, Jasper, and I climbed the front steps of the Cullens' suburban home, which was even nicer than their house on James Island. I clutched a bottle of wine in my hand, and Jasper carried a couple of dishes containing what I knew to be the best sweet potato casserole ever, along with a mouth-watering pecan pie. The three of us were eating an early dinner there before Jasper and Rose took Alice and Emmett to have dinner with their parents.

"I'm always up for second dinner," Emmett had enthused. How the guy managed to eat so much and stay so fit was beyond me. He was tall and muscular, so I supposed he needed to eat a lot for energy.

I was admittedly very nervous to meet Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. I knew from Rose's description that they were very lovely people, and that I had no reason to be nervous. But I couldn't help it. Edward was important to me, and I wanted to impress them; therefore, I'd taken extra care with my appearance. I'd worn black slacks and a nice top, and I'd given myself extra time to do my hair and makeup.

Even though Edward and I had spent a considerable amount of time together over the last two weeks, I hadn't let on about figuring out the little messages in the songs. I was beginning to notice the little tells I'd ignored before: the way he watched me when I talked; the little things he'd do for me, like coming over to help me hang a new shelf, or trying to figure out what Benji might want for Christmas.

I was a coward. I knew there was something more than friendship between us, and I refused to admit it. Maybe I was even hovering somewhere along the line of "jerk" for not acknowledging it. But either way, he was an important part of my life

Alice opened the door for us, interrupting my reverie. "Hi guys!" she exclaimed excitedly, grabbing Rose and me in giant, squeezing hugs. "I've been so excited for you to get here," she said, ostensibly to all of us, but her eyes were trained on Jasper. I didn't think her smile could get any bigger. "Come on in," she said, taking one of the dishes from Jasper and leading us inside.

The house was stunning, to put it mildly, and looked as though it had been professionally decorated. Then I remembered then that Mrs. Cullen was an interior designer.

When I spied Edward across the room, I let out a whoosh of air and felt my shoulders relax. He met me halfway across the living room and wrapped me in a hug.

"You look gorgeous."

I blushed. He was always giving me these little compliments that brought back that warm, tingly feeling.

"Thanks," I said. "You look nice too. I brought some wine."

He chuckled and led me into the large kitchen and over to a beautiful woman of average height. That, however, was where the average stopped. As she turned toward us, I noticed the bronze shade of hair and light, clear green eyes with which I was so familiar.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Bella Swan. Bella, this is my mom Esme."

I stuck out my hand for her to shake. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen."

She pulled me into a hug. "It's lovely to finally meet you too, Bella. I've heard so much about you. And please call me Esme." When she released me, she grabbed one of my hands and smiled. "You're just as beautiful as Edward described."

Edward ran a hand through his hair and looked over his shoulder. I felt my face grow warm as I thanked her. I handed her the bottle of wine, and she thanked me and gushed over how nice it was of me.

"Dad is somewhere around here..." Edward muttered.

"Here I am," said a gorgeous blond man. _Whoa_. If Edward's eyes and hair came from his mother, the rest of his features were purely his father's genes.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen," I said bashfully.

"It's Carlisle. Bella, it's wonderful to meet you. We've heard a lot of great things about you."

"So I've heard," I said, lifting an eyebrow at Edward. He looked slightly uncomfortable, and I had to bite back a smile.

"Edward tells me you're majoring in Astronomy?"

"Yes."

"Ah, a fellow scientist!"

I laughed and referred to his line of work. "I'm no brain surgeon, I assure you."

"Yes, but isn't it funny how the two always seem to be compared to everything else? It's always either 'it's not rocket science' or 'it's not brain surgery.' Surely that puts us in the same boat." He winked at me, and my knees almost buckled. _Good Lord, he looks just like Edward when he does that._

"I'm hardly a rocket scientist," I said with a giggle.

"You two go mingle with the others," Esme said. "We'll be eating soon."

And oh, the eating we did. There was enough food to feed several armies, which appeared to actually be in attendance. Edward hadn't been kidding when he'd said all of their family and friends attended every year. It was a little overwhelming. I actually clung to Edward for the majority of the evening, especially after the others departed for the Hales' house, leaving Edward and me to fend for ourselves amid the cheek-pinching aunts and wondering glances from people I didn't know.

Edward's grandfather cornered us at one point. "Edward! I have yet to be introduced to your lovely girlfriend here."

I froze, and I saw Edward tense beside me. He was the first in a long line of assumers.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," said his cousin Heidi at a later point. "Edward never brings his girlfriends to family functions!"

"Have you been keeping this one under lock and key, Bella?" his Aunt Jane asked, her eyebrows raised and her tone heavy with insinuation. "I haven't seen him since the summer!" She pinched and then kissed his cheek, and then scampered off before we could correct her.

Even the kids in the room were in on it. His five-year-old cousin, Maggie, tugged on Edward's pant leg and looked up shyly. "Your girlfriend is pretty," she whispered before skipping away.

I giggled. To be honest, I didn't really mind that one.

We managed to escape to the library when a particularly loud cheer went up while everyone watched football. I was impressed that the Cullens actually had a library. I sank down in a leather armchair and put my hands over my stomach. "I'm stuffed. I don't think I'll be eating anything for the next week. Do you realize the amount of miles I'll have to increase my run by to make up for this one day?"

Edward laughed. "Nonsense. I think you're exaggerating about the whole weight-gain thing. I'd be willing to bet you've never weighed more than a buck fifteen in your whole life."

"Let's veer straight away from that topic, please," I said hastily. "So...your parents are really awesome."

"You think so?"

"I do. They made me feel immediately welcome and at ease." I stood to survey the leather-bound books on the shelves: volumes of medical journals and diaries lined one side of the room, while the other side of the room was reserved for fictional literature. "This is quite the collection of books."

"Yeah. I used to love coming in here when I was a kid. I'd choose a book at random and start reading at whichever page the book fell open to."

I slipped a particularly heavy book from its home on the shelf. "You read _War and Peace _as a kid?"

"Well, I did try. Not that I really understood any of it."

"I'm impressed anyway. My childhood reading consisted of _The Babysitters Club_ series and other intellectually stimulating literature."

I replaced the volume and turned to see him standing with his hands in his pockets, a smile on his face.

"Stimulating, indeed," he quipped.

There was a break in conversation, and I decided to just dive in and point out the elephant in the room. I looked down at my hands, nervously picking at my fingernails. "Sooo...your family thinks I'm your girlfriend."

"I've never actually brought a girl to any family function before." He shrugged. "I guess with Emmett having Rose here, and Alice with Jasper, they just assumed..." He looked down at the floor and shuffled his feet, hands in his pockets. I had a sudden flashback to Halloween night, when he'd done that exact thing after telling me I was beautiful. Then he'd clammed up for the rest of the night. It was like a light bulb going off over my head.

I wanted to tell him that I knew. I wanted to give him some sort of hint that it was okay. I took a deep breath and went in for the kill. "So why _don't_ you have a girlfriend, Edward? The whole time I've known you, you've never even gone on any dates. Not that I know of, anyway."

I looked up and watched him slowly approach me, as if I were an animal he might scare away. I didn't like that he seemed to feel like I'd run away at any moment.

He was standing right in front of me, maybe a foot away. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "You have to know, Bella." His hand was touching the side of my face then, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone.

My eyes stung with unshed tears. I closed them and nodded slightly. "I know. I just..."

He continued to stroke my cheek lightly. His hand was so warm. "Bella? What are you afraid of?"

I shook my head, unable to speak past the lump that was forming in my throat. There was no sound but the ticking of the grandfather clock. Finally, I was able to choke out the words. "I don't want to lose you."

He exhaled in a short puff. "You're not going to lose me. I would never do what he did. _Never_."

I opened my eyes to see the conviction in his. His eyes searched mine, and whatever he saw there made him relax visibly.

"I just need time," I whispered.

He gave me a soft smile. "I've got lots of time. I'm not going anywhere."

I took a shuddering breath and tried to blink back tears. One escaped, and he wiped it away gently with his thumb.

"Thank you," I said, knowing he'd realize my gratitude was for more than just wiping away a tear.

He leaned forward slowly and whispered, "Anytime." Then he pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering there for a moment. My skin tingled where he touched me, and my heart raced as he pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in his neck and could feel his pulse racing as well.

He backed away slightly and looked over at the clock. "You ready to get out of here? I know I promised you some study time tonight."

"Yeah," I said, nodding and wiping at my eyes. "Let's go."

x-x-x

Hours later we were sprawled across Edward's living room couch, my feet resting on his lap as he slouched down into the cushions. We were surrounded by study materials for finals. Instead of studying for his Poli-Sci final, however, Edward had his nose stuck inside a course catalogue.

After the heavy conversation in the library, I was relieved to find that the atmosphere between us had turned back to the usual playful banter. It felt really good to have things out in the open. He had agreed to give me the time I needed, and I knew he wouldn't push.

"Have you decided what you're taking this spring?" he asked me.

"Well, things are pretty straightforward and planned semester by semester for my major," I told him. "I'll be taking another Physics course, Calc 2, and Stellar Astronomy. I still need to decide on an elective, though."

"Hmm..." Edward pursed his lips, squinted, and looked up at me. "How would you feel about photography? If I wanted to take a photography class, would you take it with me?"

I thought about it for a minute. I needed electives outside of my major, and it actually did sound like it might be fun. "Um, sure. That sounds like fun. As long as you don't make fun of my lack of artistic skill."

He snorted. "I'm not exactly known for my artistic eye either. But I've always wanted to know the mechanics of the camera and stuff."

"Okay, let's do it then."

"Okay. Shake on it?" he joked.

"How about I just throw a pillow at your head instead?"

"How about I do this?" he said, grabbing my ankle and tickling my bare foot.

"No! Nooo!" I shouted, giggling maniacally. "P-please, Edw–I can't breathe!"

"Say you'll take the photography class with me."

"I already said I would!" I gasped for air as laughter shook my body.

"Now say uncle."

"Uncle! Uncle!"

"Now say please."

"I already said please!" Finally, I was able to jerk my foot away and tuck my legs underneath me. "You're mean."

"Am not. I made you laugh."

"There are better ways to make me laugh, you know. Ever heard of these things called jokes?"

"Two fish are sitting in a tank. One turns to the other and says, 'hey, how do you drive this thing?'"

I stared at him blankly for a beat, then threw my head back in laughter.

"I've never gotten such a great reaction to that joke!" he said excitedly.

"What is with you today? You're in rare form."

He picked up the course catalog again. "I guess I'm just happy."

My smile softened. "Good."

"Are you happy?" he asked, not taking his eyes from the book.

"Yeah, I am."

"Good."

I really was happy. And I knew I could be even happier with a little time and maybe even the inevitable nudge from those who'd promised to cheer silently from the sidelines.

For the first time in months, I didn't have anything weighing me down. Nothing to stress over, aside from finals. Jacob hadn't tried to contact me again after the emails. I harbored a hope that someone had said something to him along the lines of leaving me alone. I knew now that I could probably forgive in time. But I didn't think I'd be letting him back into my life in any capacity anytime soon. I had new friends and a new outlook.

Life really was good.

* * *

_A/N: I made a blog so you guys can see all the places and hear the songs Edward put on Bella's cd (the songs will be up tonight or tomorrow). www(dot)youshouldknowFF(dot)blogspot(dot)com. Also, you can follow me on twitter: tiffanyanne3FF_


	9. Hold Time

_A/N: Sorry this took a while. Thanks as always to nowforruin for her great input. :) _

_A good song for this chapter: Hold Time by M. Ward_

_

* * *

_

Finals had us all stressed out. Edward and I found time to run together in the evenings between quizzing each other for whichever final was next. We were spending more and more time together. We'd actually become quite inseparable. The more time we spent together, the easier it was for me to talk to him about things.

Edward was holding fast to his promise to give me time. That didn't mean he hadn't been trying to get me to break, though. Our relationship hadn't lost its easy banter, but the atmosphere was more charged, yet somehow still relaxed. It was both odd and...really nice.

On one particular afternoon, we were sitting at Kudu Coffee while Edward quizzed me for my Physics final. I was highly distracted. That charged atmosphere was back, even though we were in a public place, sitting on a small couch tucked into a little nook in the back of the building. I was situated sideways on the couch with my legs folded under me. He had one bent leg propped up on the couch, and our knees were touching. There was no one else around...and Edward was tracing little designs on my arm with his fingers.

"That's really distracting, you know," I told him with a smirk.

"I'm just testing you," he insisted. "What if someone has a cold during your final, and is sniffling and coughing the whole time?"

"I'm perfectly capable of tuning out distractions like that," I said with a laugh.

"So why can't you concentrate now?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I think you know why."

One corner of his mouth lifted in a slow grin. "I don't. Clue me in."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Would you just ask me the next question?"

The grin stayed in place as he asked me about projectile motion.

During my Physics final a few days later, all I could think about were the patterns he traced lightly on my arms and denim-clad knees during our study session.

It drove me crazy.

I was somehow able to complete my final and turn it in without a problem. It was a good thing logic and numbers came easily to me.

By Thursday night, everyone was finished with finals except for me. I had one left on Friday afternoon, but it would be a snap. Jasper was cooking dinner for us all again at the Cullens' house in celebration of both the end of finals and his closing on the house he'd put the offer in for a few weeks back.

We all sat around the table, a general air of relief and excitement flowing around us.

"We should all go out tomorrow night," Alice suggested. "Get drunk and celebrate."

"Yes!" Rose said excitedly. "I need it so badly. It's been a rough week."

Jasper snorted at her. "What with all the tests about acting, dance, and costume design?"

She threw a napkin at him. "You know it's much more complicated than that."

"So Jasper, how does it feel to be a homeowner?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not really sure yet since I haven't moved in."

"I wonder how long it'll take Alice to move in?" Edward said with a laugh.

"Edward!" she shrieked. "That was rude."

"What? You'll be over there more than you'll be here."

Jasper and Alice looked at each other, and she shrugged. "Still..." She trailed off.

There was amusement in Jasper's eyes instead of embarrassment. I pondered the meaning of it as I studied his relaxed demeanor. Before I could think about it too much, however, Emmett dropped quite the bombshell on us all.

"Well, Rose and I are going to get married, so you'll be the only one left in the house if Alice moves," Emmett said casually before taking a bit of his pasta.

Edward spluttered and choked on his glass of wine. My jaw dropped open, and my head whipped to the side so I could gape at Rose. She sat there looking just as shocked as the rest of us.

"Uh, he doesn't mean anytime soon."

"_Married?_" Edward and Jasper exclaimed at the same time. I giggled.

Edward turned to me. "What's so funny?" he asked.

I shook my head and tried to hold in my laughter.

"Yeah," Emmett continued. "We've talked about it, and we both want the same things."

"We're not engaged or anything," Rose assured us. "Bella, you'd be the first to know if that happened."

Jasper's face was red. "What about me? I'm your brother!"

Rose rolled her eyes. "It's a moot point now. Anyway, we're going to wait until I finish school."

Emmett turned to her and gave her the most adoring look I'd ever seen. She looked down at her plate and blushed. It was all very sweet and lovely, but I couldn't believe how nonchalant everyone was being. These were some potentially heavy topics, which usually required a certain amount of carefully thought out and rehearsed lines. The Cullens and the Hales seemed to take everything in stride.

And then there was me. I couldn't even allow myself to open up to Edward, no matter how much I wanted to. It made me feel sort of ridiculous. He'd been so much more than just a friend to me. And I was forcing us to hover in limbo...

Edward tipped his chair back slightly and draped his arm loosely across the back of mine, breaking me from my internal thoughts. I had a bad feeling. We were the only ones who hadn't been placed in the spotlight, and these teasing games tended to turn to tight competition very quickly among the Cullen clan.

Alice was the first to raise her brow and speak. "What's going on with you two, anyway?" she asked.

"Nothing," I blurted.

Edward chuckled as Alice regarded us with a smug look.

"What?" I said. My face began to burn, and I knew it was obvious to the others.

"Nothing," she mimicked with a smirk, as though she had gotten what she'd wanted.

x-x-x

My last final went as well as I expected it to. Edward and I decided to go for our run late in the afternoon so that we could rest up in preparation for the evening. Alice had come up with the idea for a barhop down King Street. It was pretty indicative of her personality–the girl couldn't sit still for more than twenty minutes at a time.

The afternoon sun beat down on us as we jogged down the Battery. It was unseasonably warm for the beginning of December.

"You ready for a late night?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. I actually think it'll be a lot of fun. I haven't had a night out like that in a long time. Alice is coming over to mine and Rose's place to get ready. She says that's half the fun."

"I wouldn't know. What do you think? Should I call Jasper up and ask him to do my makeup? Maybe Emmett can paint my nails," he teased.

"Shut up," I said, but I couldn't help laughing. I loved days like this: spending time laughing with Edward, taking in the local scenery I could never tire of, and just feeling generally carefree. I was suddenly very excited about the night ahead of us.

x-x-x

Alice showed up at eight o'clock on the dot. She had a garment bag slung over her

"What on earth is all this for? Were you planning on staying a week?" I asked.

"Very funny. No, I wanted to show you guys what I've been working on."

"Ooh!" Rose squealed, running out of the kitchen and grabbing for the garment bag. "Lemme see!"

"Let her get in the door first!"

There was a flurry of feathers as Rose grabbed for the garment bag and unzipped it. The dress she pulled out was a muted grayish-lavender color, and it looked like something out of a fashion magazine. There were layers of what looked like real bird feathers making up the skirt of the dress.

"Oh, Alice! I love it!" Rose exclaimed.

"Careful!" Alice said, hovering over Rose like a new mother. "It's a little bit fragile still. Work in progress."

"I think it's gorgeous," I said. "What's it for?"

"I started working on it for fun, but I think it's going to be my final project for the spring show. I'm a little bit afraid that people might think feathers are over, so we'll see." She gently pried Rose's fingers from the bodice of the dress, easing it back into the garment bag.

I'd had no idea how talented Alice was when it came to design and actually _making_ clothes. I mean, I'd seen a few of her sketches, but seeing them on paper and in person were two completely different experiences.

"It really is amazing," I said, wrapping her in a hug.

"Thanks. I do love it. It's my favorite project."

"What else did you bring?" Rose asked excitedly.

We rifled through Alice's suitcase, pulling out makeup, shoes, and fun costume jewelry. I was suddenly really excited about getting all made up and going out.

"Ooh, Bella, these would look so great with your short black dress," Rose said.

"Which one?"

"The strapless one."

"Oh, I think you're right! Alice, do you really wear this color lipstick?" It was bright red.

"Only on special occasions. Rose, you should wear this necklace."

It went on like that until we realized how much time had passed. We had half an hour until the guys were supposed to pick us up and we were sitting around in robes, trading accessories and makeup. The next thirty minutes were a flurry of activity. Luckily, I'd already straightened my hair and started my makeup. Despite the hubbub that ensued, we were ready on time and standing patiently in the living room when the guys walked in. Rose's dress was short, blue, and sparkly. Alice had on a little red strapless number that she'd made herself. I was extremely impressed with her handiwork.

"Knock knock!" Emmett called out. "You ladies ready yet? Whoa, look at my knockout of a girlfriend." He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a big smacking kiss on the cheek.

Jasper and Edward followed him into the living room. When Edward moved closer to me, I saw a spark in his eye that made my face grow warm.

"Hi," he said. "You look...stunning."

I smoothed down the short skirt of my black dress. I'd worn the strapless one Rose suggested. It was made of taffeta, fitted at the top, and had a semi-poofy bubble skirt. Alice's red patent leather heels went really well with it, as Rose had predicted.

"Thank you," I said. "You look very handsome."

Edward's look didn't depart much from the norm, but it was quintessentially him. No one else could possibly look so good in jeans and a button-down with the sleeves rolled up. He cocked that fabulous crooked grin at me, and I may have swooned a little bit.

"Ready to get out of here?" Alice asked, ever the leader of the group.

There was a bit of arguing over whether we would drive or walk. Nobody wanted to be the designated driver, but Alice was wearing shoes that looked more like death traps than footwear. It was finally decided that we'd walk now and take a cab at the end of the night if we were too tired to walk.

I started down the stairs carefully. My shoes had a higher heel than I was used to, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin the night by breaking a leg before it even started. Edward grabbed my arm to support me as I placed my foot gingerly on the next step down.

"Thanks. I'm not used to these shoes."

"No problem. And I'm rather fond of them."

I looked back down at my feet under the pretense of watching where I was going. But _God_, sometimes the little comments he made sent tingles radiating from the pit of my stomach out toward the rest of my body. I sighed once we were on solid ground and making our way down the sidewalk.

We started the night at Chai's, downing a couple of shots to start the night out right. We sat down on the leather couch and chairs, shouting at each other over the loud ambient music. Edward's fingers traced down the back of my arm, and I shivered.

"You really do look gorgeous tonight," he said, just loud enough for me to hear. "I'm sorry if I'm being kind of forward, but I'm finding it hard to not touch you."

I bit my lip and grew warm all over. "It's okay," I said. "I don't mind."

He narrowed his eyes and kind of pressed his lips together, looking as though he wanted to say something else. Eventually he just smiled and asked if I wanted another drink. I nodded, throwing back the rest of my sweet cocktail and wrinkling my nose.

"Something less sweet?"

He nodded and asked everyone else if they needed drinks. As I watched him walk away, Rose flounced down onto the couch beside me. "He can't keep his hands off you! What is going on with you two?"

"Nothing! I promise, Rose. I'd tell you if something were going on. It's just..." I paused, wondering how much I should say. Rose tended to get overly excited about things that weren't that big of a deal. "After you guys left the Cullens' on Thanksgiving, we sort of had a talk."

"What sort of talk?" she prompted when I didn't expand.

"He basically hinted around about his feelings for me, and I told him I knew. Then I said I needed time. So...that's it. Nothing's happening."

Edward was walking back from the bar, balancing several drinks in his hands. Rose rubbed my arm, which was covered in goosebumps. "Time, huh? I think you're time's up."

"Huh?"

"I don't think either one of you can hold out much longer. None of us have missed the looks you two have throwing each other all night."

If it was that obvious to everyone else, was it obvious to Edward too? Was he waiting on some sort of sign from me on the "time" thing? And was I actually ready to try something more?

_Oh, jeez, it's been so long since I've had to worry about this sort of thing, _I thought frantically. I'd been with Jake for three years. And before that, I'd only had silly high school crushes and not-so-serious boyfriends.

Before I could think any further on the subject, Edward was back with my drink.

I took a small sip. It was refreshing and cool, a little bit sweet but not overly so, and it helped to calm the heat that had spread through my body and lingered from Edward's touch. "Mmm."

"Good?" he asked, taking a swig of his beer.

"So good."

He seemed to tense up next to me. I put my hand on his arm. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh. Nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure? You seem tense."

He laughed, and it was sort of nervous and husky at the same time. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Good. Are you having a good time?"

"I always have a good time with you," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Cheese ball."

His laugh was louder and more confident this time. "You know you love it."

"Yeah, well..." I trailed off.

We finished our drinks and moved on to Charleston Beer Works. The drinks kept flowing, and I became less guarded and more touchy-feely as the night wore on. I thought Edward was enjoying it, but he also seemed to be holding back. I was feeling too good to worry about what I should or shouldn't do.

Our next stop was Torch, a small, more upscale lounge that was absolutely packed with warm bodies.

"Holy cow!" Jasper shouted over the thumping music. "How are we supposed to even get to the bar?"

"Hang on," Emmett said. "I know the guy who owns this place."

He disappeared for a few minutes, and then came back and gestured for us to follow him. Edward grabbed my hand so I wouldn't get lost in the sea of people, and I grabbed Rose's. After some pushing and elbow jabs, we found ourselves in the VIP area in the back. The room had a wide doorway that was open to the rest of the place, but there was a rope across it. There were thick curtains covering the walls, velour couches lining the walls, and long chaises in the middle of the room. The light fixtures above gave the room a Moroccan feel.

"This is Amun," Emmett told us, introducing us to the bar's owner. "He was a couple years ahead of me in college."

When we were all introduced, I asked for the bathroom. "Right down that hall," Amun told me, pointing to the back of the room.

"We'll join you," Alice said, pulling Rose behind her.

When we were locked inside the small bathroom, we giggled and gossiped about girls we'd seen throughout the night while we fixed our makeup and used the facilities.

"It's nice to see you loosen up some, Bella," Alice said, stroking my hair. Apparently, she got a little touchy-feely when she was drunk too.

"Thanks, I think... Am I usually that uptight?"

"It's just because she's only known you since after you-know-who," Rose said.

I bit my lip and watched my eyebrows draw together in the mirror. "I'm sorry, guys. I didn't know it was that bad. Have I been a total bitch?"

"No," Alice assured me. "But I've never seen you smile as much as you have been over the last couple of weeks."

"I think I might know what that's all about," Rose said wickedly.

We practically fell out of the small room in a giggling heap. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dim light of the bar again as I scanned the room for a sign of Edward. When my eyes found him, my heart skipped a beat.

He was standing with Emmett, Jasper, and Amun. And he had his arm around a girl. I could only see them from the back, but even from that view she was gorgeous. She had long, strawberry blond hair that tumbled down her bare back. My chest tightened for a second as I stopped, watching Rose and Alice continue their walk across the room.

I shook my head quickly from side to side, trying to clear the fog. Alice turned to see me lagging behind.

"Bella? What's the matter?"

My eyes darted over to where Edward stood. She looked over her shoulder and turned back to me with a smile. "Silly B." She giggled as she grabbed my hand. "That's Tanya. She's a friend of the family."

"Oh." I felt a bit relieved, but still sort of self-conscious. He did still have her arm around her. She turned to the side and laughed at something Emmett said. She was gorgeous from the side too.

"I promise you have nothing to worry about," Alice insisted. "Do you even realize how much he talks about you? How he looks at you? There's no way any other girl could hold his interest." She giggled again. "Besides, Tanya's a lesbian."

My head jerked back in shock. "Oh! Well...that's nice. For me, I mean. Er...I mean because she wouldn't be interested in Edward..."

Alice's giggles turned to outright laughter. "You're silly." She pulled me by the arm and we rejoined the group.

Edward's happy expression turned into my favorite crooked grin when we approached. "Bella," he said. "I was wondering where you'd gotten off to."

I smiled back, looking over to Tanya and offering her my hand. "You must be Tanya. I'm Bella. Alice has told me a little about you."

Her eyes lit up as she shook my hand warmly. "Ah, so _you're_ the one Edward's been talking my ear off about! It's lovely to meet you."

My eyes darted quickly to Edward's face, and I felt my face heat up. "Nice to meet you too."

"Now where did my little Alice go off to? I feel like I haven't seen her in ages." Tanya whispered something into Edward's ear, making him chuckle before she sauntered off to find Alice.

"What are you drinking there, beautiful?" he asked.

I blinked up at him. _He called me beautiful again_. I looked down at the pink drink in the glass I was clutching. "Um...vodka and cranberry?"

He grinned again. "Is that an answer or a question?"

"Alice got it for me." I swayed on my feet a bit, not sure if it was because of the alcohol, the too-tall shoes, or the way he was looking at me.

"Want to sit down?"

"Yes, please."

He led me over to one of the velour chaises in a corner. "Are you having fun?" he asked as he touched the tip of my nose.

It took me a moment to answer. I just wanted him to keep touching me. "Mmhmm."

"Good. Have I told you how pretty you look tonight?"

"You have. Multiple times." Again, I didn't know if the wave of heat that took over my body was from the alcohol or Edward. _I think I'm drunk on him_. I leaned toward him slightly.

"It's because you are," he said softly.

I leaned in closer. _It's now or never, Bella. Don't over think this. Just do it. _I knew what I wanted. My mind was made up. I couldn't deny the insane chemistry between us anymore. Just seeing him with his arm around another woman, no matter the relation or her romantic preferences, made me see what I could be losing. I didn't want to wait any longer. _Time's up_.

"Edward..."

"Hmm?"

"I think..." Before I could finish my thought, my lips were brushing softly against his. He seemed to tense up a little. This was not the reaction I was expecting.

His hands trailed softly up my arms to my shoulders, pushing back gently. "Bella," he said in a low voice, eyes squeezed shut. "As much as I want to kiss you, you're drunk. I don't want you to regret it tomorrow."

"I'm not drunk," I said. "I'm just a little tipsy. And I want this, Edward. I want it. I don't want to push you away anymore. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to lose you to someone else."

He opened his eyes and seemed to understand what I meant. I wanted to smooth away the wrinkle that had formed on his brow. "Oh, Bella," he said softly. "Tanya is just an old friend. And–"

"I know. But seeing her there just made me think. It's not fair of me to keep doing this. To keep both of us waiting, when we both feel...this...I don't even know what it is. But I know it's strong. And I've felt it in some form or another since I met you. I don't want to wait anymore. I don't need time. I just need you."

His expression softened, and the wrinkle on his brow disappeared. His clear green eyes searched mine. "Yeah?"

I nodded as I closed the distance between us once again. "Yeah."

Our lips met again, caressing and brushing slowly. He took my bottom lip between his and pulled gently. His hand moved around from my shoulders to my back, holding me to him as we kissed slowly and sweetly. When we pulled apart, I pressed my forehead to his.

"God, I've wanted that for so long," he breathed.

"I'm sorry. I know I–" His lips met mine again for a brief moment, effectively shutting me up.

"No apologies."

My eyes were drawn over his shoulder for some reason. Our friends stood across the room in various states of shock and smugness. _Ridiculous._

"I feel like a museum exhibit," I whispered, tilting my head toward them.

Edward glanced over his shoulder and chuckled. "Don't they have anything better to do?" He stood and held his hand out. "Wanna step outside for a minute?"

I nodded and let him help me to my feet. His hand lingered at my waist as he guided me through the bar. We pushed through the front doors and out into the cool night. He pulled me around the side of the building into the small alley, where we could have a little privacy.

Edward spun me around quickly and pressed me back against the brick building. It bit into my back a little, but I didn't care. His hands were gripping my waist.

"You're sure, Bella?"

I nodded. "I'm more than sure."

I'd never seen his smile so bright and broad before. He leaned to kiss me again. It started out softly and reverently. Then it morphed into something more urgent as our lips parted and tongues tangled. He groaned, and my heart melted. I felt one arm slip around my waist, and his hand splayed out on my back. His other hand supported the back of my head as he pressed me harder against the wall. Hard met soft, and heat met cool as I shivered in the breeze. Or was I shivering from his touch, his tongue stroking mine, his body pushing mine up against the bricks...

"Bella," he rasped between kisses. "I–God, you're amazing."

It was my turn to groan. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back down for another heated kiss. I pushed my tongue inside his mouth, craving more.

"Hey!" a voice echoed through the alleyway. "Hey, lovebirds!"

Our mouths broke apart, but we still clung to each other as we turned our heads to see who was yelling. _Emmett. Lovely_.

He let out a huge belly laugh. "What are you two doing making out in the middle of an alley?"

"We weren't making out," Edward grumbled as he pulled away from me, grasping my hand as we made our way back out onto the sidewalk.

"What would you call that, then?" Emmett asked in amusement.

"A pivotal moment?" Rose supplied. She winked at me, and I rolled my eyes. "Are you ready to call it a night, babe?"

"Nooo!" Alice exclaimed. "There are plenty more bars to go to! We haven't even gotten to dance. What about that one on the second floor of Henry's?"

"It's one-thirty, Ali," Jasper said. "The bars will be doing last call in like ten minutes." He leaned down to whisper some consoling comment to her, which I was sure I had no desire to hear.

Her face brightened. "Should we take a cab, then?"

"If we can find one that seats six," Emmett said, craning his neck to look up and down the street.

Cabs were hard to come by in Charleston. You could walk pretty much anywhere in the downtown area. If you came from anywhere else, you drove. Rose suggested we walk back to our place and call a taxi from there.

Edward and I let the others lead as we lagged behind, his arm wrapped tightly around me. We were silent for the most part, listening to Alice babble on about how much fun it had been to see Tanya. Every few minutes, we'd look at each other and grin. Once we were back at the apartment, Rosalie and I helped Alice gather her things as they waited for the cab.

As we filed back out into the living room, Edward met me with a glass of water.

"Thank you," I said.

He leaned forward and kissed me once on the lips. "Just because I can," he whispered.

I laughed. "Stay?"

"If you want me to."

"I don't want you to go. And I think we should talk."

"Okay then."

"Cab's here!" Emmett yelled from the living room. "Who's coming to the Cullen abode?"

There was a bit of commotion as Alice gave directions on the proper way to carry the garment bag that held her final project. Jasper kissed her on the cheek and told her not to worry, and Emmett complained about how much stuff she'd brought just to get dressed for bar hopping.

I laughed as I watched the scene play out. I didn't need to watch sitcoms or romantic comedies. I could just watch my friends when we got together.

My giggles stopped when the door was closed and Edward came up behind me. He grabbed me around the waist and pressed kisses to the back of my head.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked nervously as I turned to face him. "Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine. More than fine. Incredibly happy, in fact."

I blushed and looked down. "I should go wash my face and get ready for bed."

He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Don't take too long."

My heart raced as I undressed. I stood in my bathroom waiting for the water in the sink to heat up.

I scrubbed the makeup from my face, brushed my teeth, then fretted over which pajamas I should wear. Flannel was very unsexy. Not that I was expecting sexy times. I just didn't want to look...frumpy. I pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank top instead.

When I made my way back to the living room, Edward was sitting on the couch with his head thrown back and eyes closed. I sat next to him and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Hey. You look comfy." He put his arm around me, pulling me closer.

"I am now."

A few minutes passed as I sat curled into his side. My eyelids were starting to droop, and I wondered about the best way to get him to my bedroom–merely for sleeping purposes, of course. I smiled to myself. It was then that I realized that his breathing had evened out. His chest rose and fell slightly. I sat up and gently shook his arm.

"Edward."

"Mmm?"

"Maybe we should save our talk for the morning."

"Mmhmm."

"Don't you think you'd be more comfortable in bed?"

He peeked one eye open, then sat up and stretched. "Are you sure you don't want me to sleep on the couch?"

I shook my head. "It's not the most comfortable couch in the world."

He paused before speaking again. "Rosalie's room?"

I shook my head again.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest and kissing me softly. "I love doing that."

"Me too." I stood and led him to my bedroom. I climbed into bed and patted the space next to me. "Get over here. I want your arms around me."

My favorite smile crept over his face. "I think I can manage that. Just give me a minute," he said, and then disappeared into the bathroom.

As I lay back on the bed and waited for him to come back, butterflies started fluttering around my stomach. What the hell was I thinking? He was going to sleep with me here, in my bed. I highly doubted he was sporting a pair of pajama pants under those snug jeans. I wondered quickly if a loose pair of my sweatpants would fit him. _Probably not, _I figured. _His legs are too long. And muscly. And...strong thighs...oh, Jesus... _I found myself biting my lip and wondering if Jasper had left behind a pair of pajama pants in the boxes he'd yet to transfer to his new house. I wanted to take things slowly, and here I was already wanting to jump Edward's bones before he'd even come into the room.

My worries ceased when he emerged from the bathroom and turned out the light. It was dim enough that I could just make out his form. The only light glowed softly through the windows, provided by the moon and street lamps. I watched him place his neatly folded clothes on top of my dresser, and then sit on the bed, scrubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. When he swung his legs up onto the bed and turned to toward me. I tried to ignore the face that he was wearing only a pair of boxers. I looked intently at his face, which was creased with worry. I reached out to smooth the wrinkle on his forehead.

"Bella." He sighed. "I don't want you to think that I don't–that I'm not–"

"It's okay," I whispered in understanding, searching out his hand with my own and squeezing it. "I want to take things slowly too."

He grinned slowly. "I just don't want you to regret or question anything."

"I won't. I don't. The only thing I regret is making you wait."

"No," he said, his voice slightly louder. "Don't ever regret that. The last thing I would want is for you to be uncomfortable or unsure."

"You've been so patient and caring, even when I was so closed off. But I promise, Edward, I'm not going to shut anyone out anymore." I leaned my forehead against his. "Especially you."

He kissed me sweetly. "Thank you."

I tried to hide a yawn behind my hand, but Edward chuckled and yawned himself. "Maybe we should save the rest of this talk for the morning," he suggested.

"Mmm." I snuggled up to his chest as he wound his arms around me. "That sounds like a good idea."

We found a comfortable position, each sighing as we snuggled together underneath the quilt. With my ear pressed to his chest, I listened to his heartbeat slow with the approach of sleep. I brushed a kiss over his heart.

"Good night, Edward," I whispered. But he was already sound asleep.


	10. Awake

_a/n: my deepest and most sincere apologies for taking so long to update. it's been a busy couple of months... i promise to have another chapter up by january 10th (the start of spring semester. sigh). you can bug me about it on twitter if you want. ;) i'm tiffanyanne3FF there. _

_a good song for this chapter: skyscrapers by ok go (if you ever have the opportunity to see them live, do it! they put on the most amazingly fun show!)_

_nowforruin is the best beta ever! _

_

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I awoke the next morning feeling warm and snug. The events of the previous evening came back to me as my mind slowly caught up with my waking body. Our first kiss–initiated by me. Did it seriously take seeing his arm around another girl for me to glimpse what I could be missing out on? How cliché of me. I stretched luxuriously in the warm sun streaming through the window and felt a fluttering of fingers on my skin.

Turning my head to the side, I was greeted with the sight of Edward lying on his stomach, his face all but buried in the pillow. His arm was slung around my waist, his hand resting on my slightly exposed right hipbone. The new intimacy of the position made my entire body tingle instantly as his fingers began to move lightly across my skin. The pressure of his fingers there increased in small increments as he began to wake. When he turned his face into the pillow and stretched with a groan, his hand was practically gripping my hip. He turned to me with heavy eyelids.

"Good morning." His voice was thick with sleep, and he seemed tentative as he gave me a shy little smile.

"Morning," I said quietly. We lay there staring as his index finger traced tiny circles on my skin. When it got a little bit awkward, we both laughed softly.

"Did you really kiss me last night?" There was a hint of giddy disbelief in his voice.

My face got warm as I nodded. "Yes. And then you kissed me back."

"I did," he agreed, pulling me into his arms. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?"

I shook my head against his chest.

"Probably since the third time I saw you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Though if I was being really honest, I'd say I wanted to kiss you from the first moment I saw you. But you were all covered in snot and tears and–"

I shoved at his chest as we laughed. "You're mean."

"I'm not."

"I know."

"Bella, believe me when I say that that kiss last night...it was the best moment I've experienced to date."

I scoffed and looked away. "Stop. You're silly."

He tilted my chin up and forced me to meet his eyes. "I'm serious. I care so deeply for you in every way possible. And to think that you feel the same way about me is...just..."

A wide grin spread across my face. "I do care for you. Very much."

He leaned in and gave me a soft, innocent kiss on the lips. I feared morning breath would scare him off, so I pulled away after a few seconds.

"You know what sucks about not having a roommate that sticks around?"

He squinted and pretended to think hard. "I can't think of anything. Having my siblings or Rose or Jasper around would be highly inconvenient at the moment."

"There's no one else around to put on the coffee," I answered.

"Oh, that is a shame."

I nodded somberly. "It really is. Because I really don't want to get out of bed right now."

"Uh, neither do I."

"Well, what are we to do? It's either get up and make the coffee or go back to sleep. Or let me brush my teeth so you can kiss me properly."

"Hmm. I like that last option about the kissing. But you don't need to get up..."

"Yes, I do. I have horrible cotton mouth."

"How's your head? Hungover or anything?"

"Surprisingly, no. You?"

"Nope."

We snuggled together for a bit before the beckoning promises of hot, bold coffee became too loud for either of us to ignore. I swung my legs over my side of the bed and grabbed my short robe while giving him the privacy to slip his jeans back on. I turned to face him when I heard him stepping across the creaky hardwood floor. Before I could say anything, he had pulled me into his warm chest and nuzzled into my neck.

"You smell so good," he murmured.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said, inhaling deeply. "I can still smell your perfume."

"Oh." I was too busy enjoying the light tickling of his breath and the way his nose grazed the sensitive skin behind my ear to concentrate on what he was saying. By the time he pressed a kiss on my lobe, I was practically melting in his arms.

"How about that coffee?" he whispered into my ear after nibbling on the lobe.

I shivered. "Um, okay."

"And how about I make us breakfast?"

I gave him a dubious look as he released me and we made our way to the kitchen. "Do you cook better than your siblings?"

"Of course. Someone in the house has to know how to cook. Man cannot live on pizza and Chinese takeout alone."

"Okay then. Surprise me. Impress me, even." I took the pitcher of cold water from the fridge and poured two glasses, handing one to Edward as I gulped mine down.

"Oh, you mean I don't already do that daily?"

I snickered. "Well, of course. I thought that was understood. I mean surprise and impress me _yet again_." My teasing tone caused him to toss me an arrogant look over his shoulder as he rifled through the cabinets.

"Oh, just you wait. You have a waffle iron. Do you realize what this means?"

I crossed my arms and waited for his revelation.

"This means you are about to experience the world's best waffles."

"You do realize Jasper lived here, right? I'm pretty spoiled by his culinary talents."

He raised an eyebrow. "I hope those are the only talents he spoiled you with."

"Ew! Don't say things like that about my surrogate brother." I took the opportunity to cut him off with the loud whirring of the coffee grinder. He started to say something, so I released the button. "What was that?" As soon as he started talking, I pressed the button again.

He leaned back on the counter with arms crossed and waited as I giggled. When the grinder ceased its whirring, I went through the motions of making the coffee. A pair of arms surrounded me from behind, and soft lips whispered against my ear. "Are you finished interrupting me?"

"Are you finishing saying gross things?" I countered. His reply was a kiss right below my ear. I melted back into his arms as he peppered kisses down my neck and across my shoulder, pushing my robe to the side with his nose. I inhaled slowly, savoring the feel of his lips on my skin, his body pressed against mine, the scent of...something burning? I jumped and turned to see thin curls of smoke coming from the warming waffle iron. "Edward!"

"What the hell is that?" he asked, making it over to the other side of the kitchen in one stride. He unplugged the waffle iron and opened it to find black, burned bits stuck to the supposedly nonstick surface.

"Rosalie," I said through gritted teeth. "She must have used it last and didn't clean it."

Edward laughed. "What is it with her and burning breakfast?"

"She always gets these grand ideas in her head of surprising people with big breakfasts. But her attention span is about the size of a flea's. You'd think she'd have some modicum of talent for cooking, seeing how great her brother is at it."

"We'll just wait for it to cool down and then clean it," he said between chuckles and shakes of his head.

"Well, at least we have coffee in the meantime." Luckily, there hadn't been all that much smoke, and the pleasant aroma of coffee brewing had begun to permeate the less pleasing smell.

"Hmm. I can think of something else I'd rather do in the meantime," he murmured as his arms went around me again. I turned my face up to his, and our lips met for the first real kiss of the morning. His lips were surprisingly soft against mine. The kiss was slow and gentle as we explored the new sensations. A thrill chased his fingers down my spine. His hands rested on the small of my back and pressed my body closer to his until I was gathered tightly against his bare chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hands playing languidly in the hair at the nape of his neck. It was altogether lazy, sensuous, and steamy.

My lips felt swollen when he pulled back. I opened my eyes to find his still half-closed. "Have I told you how much I love kissing you?" I asked shyly.

He grinned. "I don't remember. But you can tell me as much as you want."

My perma-grin was starting to make my cheeks hurt. I turned back to the counter to prepare our coffee. "Splash of cream, teaspoon of sugar?" I asked.

"Please." He grabbed a banana from the bunch on the counter and offered me half. It would tide us over until we could use the waffle iron.

I was proud of myself for already knowing how he took his coffee. Every girl should know how her boyfriend liked his coffee. Personally, I didn't care for sugar much–_wait. Did I just inadvertently call him my boyfriend? _

It was a complete slip, and I was glad it had happened in my thoughts instead of out loud. It would've made for an awkward beginning to the conversation I knew we had to have. I didn't want to make any assumptions, but wasn't it what he wanted? I was pretty sure it was...maybe the slip-up would have been a good catalyst to push us into speaking the words we needed to say.

As though he were reading my mind, Edward asked if I'd like to go into the living room and talk. I nodded. When we were situated on the couch–me under an afghan, since the heat in the old apartment wasn't exactly efficient–a slightly more serious look took over his features. "So...who should start?" he asked.

"Um. You go ahead."

He looked a bit relieved. It made me sad that he seemed to think I was going to shut down or back out of our talk.

"Bella, last night was seriously one of the best nights of my life. I could barely believe what was happening." He paused and cleared his throat, and I gave him an encouraging smile. "But I don't want you to feel pressured. You've known how I feel about you for a while. But I really don't want you to feel trapped into anything just because you kissed me. I realize more than anyone how hurt you were when..." He trailed off and cleared his throat again. "Anyway, I want you to know that I'm willing to be a part of your life in whatever capacity you'll have me."

I waited to make sure he was finished before reaching across the short distance between us and grabbing his hand. "I want this. I want to be with you, Edward." He seemed to relax minutely at my words. "I've been really...stupid. I don't know why I've denied it this whole time–"

"You were hurt," he interrupted.

I shook my head. "I wasn't hurt anymore. I haven't even thought of Jake for a long time. It's just...I don't want to lose you."

He reached up to touch my face lightly. "You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere."

My eyes closed as I melted just a little more. "I treasure your friendship more than anything else. I didn't want to risk losing that if things didn't work out between us." I looked down at our entwined hands between us on the couch. "But I can't deny it anymore. It's too much to ignore. Forget about needing time. I only need you."

His beautiful crooked smile spread slowly across his face. "It makes me so happy to hear you say that." He leaned in and kissed me once on each cheek before leaning his forehead against mine. We sat that way for what could have been minutes or hours. I loved the way his breath washed over my cheek, the way his hand squeezed mine tightly, the way he closed his eyes when the emotion seemed to be too much.

Things had never been this way with anyone else. Of course I'd felt the thrill of something new before, the way chills ran down my spine at mere contact with him. But it had never felt so profound as it did right then with Edward. Never before had someone made me feel like laughing, crying, and dancing around the living room all at once. It was new and beautiful, and it made me wonder if I'd ever really been in love before.

Edward suddenly opened his eyes and smiled again. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and made a little happy noise low in his throat as he buried his face in my hair. When he spoke, his voice was muffled. "God, I'm so happy right now."

I giggled. "Me too." Then I placed a hand on either side of his head and urged him to look at me. "But I'm sorry." He started to interrupt, but I didn't let him. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long, even though I knew how you felt about me. I didn't do it on purpose. It was just my stupid insecurity."

He shook his head. "No. Don't apologize. That's my girlfriend you keep calling 'stupid,' you know."

"Is that what I am?" I whispered.

A pink tinge rose on the apples of his cheeks. "If–" He swallowed hard before continuing to speak. "If that's what you want."

"Is it what you want?"

"Very much."

I smiled. "Then that's what I am." Before I could say anything else, he leaned in and kissed me soundly on the mouth. It took me a second to react, but when I did, it was in earnest. I returned his kiss with as much fervor as he showed and wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands tangled in my hair as his lips sucked at mine; he pulled my bottom lip in between his and caressed it with his tongue. I made an embarrassing sound as his tongue found its way into my mouth and moved with mine. He chuckled a bit and pulled away slowly, leaving me with a pounding heart and shortness of breath.

"So what about that breakfast?" he asked in a low voice.

I could think of a few other things I'd like to make together, but I nodded and smoothed my hair back from my face. "Yeah. I guess I'm pretty hungry." _Nice thing to say after your boyfriend just kissed you into oblivion, Bella, _I thought. In my defense, I was in an Edward daze and had no control over my reactions.

He laughed again and stood, pulling me up into a hug before we made our way into the kitchen.

x-x-x

"What are you two crazy kids up to?" Emmett asked when we walked through the Cullens' front door.

Rose's head popped up from the opposite end of the couch. She raised an eyebrow at me, and then clutched her head and groaned. "Never drinking again," she muttered.

"I've heard that before," I said, walking over to sit beside her and stroke her hair. "Poor Rosalie."

She snuggled into my side. "Cuddle with me, bestie."

I snorted. "Are you still drunk?"

She glared at me briefly before donning an evil smirk. "I suppose you'd rather cuddle with Edward these days."

I looked up at Edward, who grinned at the blush that covered my face. "I'm gonna go shower," he said. He dropped a kiss on the top of my head before disappearing down the hall to his room.

Rosalie looked at me pointedly. Emmett's attention was turned to the football game on the television, but he wore a smug grin anyway.

"Details," said Rose. "What happened?"

I slid down to the floor and leaned my head back on the couch. "Nothing much, really. We talked."

"About..." she prompted.

"Everything." I didn't especially want to hash out the details with Emmett sitting right next to me. "Everything's good."

She smiled at me, and I knew she understood. "I'm glad," she said, ruffling my hair and then combing it out with her fingers.

"Where's Alice?" I asked.

"She and Jasper went furniture shopping," Rose answered. "Care to make a wager on how long it will be before she moves in?"

"Didn't we just go over this the other night?" asked Emmett. "My baby sister's not moving out of this house until she's thirty. How am I supposed to keep an eye on her?" I knew he was joking, but I also wondered if it was weird for them to have their siblings dating as well.

"You know, if both of you guys get married and have kids, you'll be double aunt and uncle."

"What?" Rose said with no small amount of shock. "Ew, Bella. That sounds incestuous."

"No, it's not. Think about it. If Alice and Jasper had a kid, you'd be its aunt by blood and marriage."

"Leave it to you to take the romance out of something by interjecting your silly logic."

"It's all that weird reasoning and thinking she has to do with things like quantum physics," Emmett said as he rubbed her pajama-clad leg.

"Sorry," I said with a shrug. "I was just wondering if it was weird for you guys."

Edward called my name from his room then. I took the opportunity to remove my foot from my mouth and use it to walk down the hall. His door was open, and I entered to find him pulling a sweatshirt on over the t-shirt he wore. His hair was wet from his shower, making the slightly bronze color more of a deep brown. I couldn't help but admire the way it contrasted and enhanced his green eyes as he grinned at me.

"You rang?"

"I figured you might need some rescuing from prying questions," he said.

I laughed. "I handled it just fine, thank you. What are you doing?"

"Looking for my running shoes," he answered. He was kneeling in front of his open closet, rifling through a pile of what I assumed were dirty clothes. I spotted an old milk crate pushed against the wall of the closet. Its contents piqued my interest.

"What's that?" I asked, kneeling beside him and pulling the container out. "Records?"

"Yeah," he said. "Score." He sat back to put on the shoe he'd just found in the corner. "Those were my dad's. I've had my eye on them for a while now, but he just gave them to me a few months ago."

"Well, what are they doing buried in the back of your closet?" I flipped through the records and was impressed by the collection. "Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd...Carly Simon?"

"Maybe it was Mom's," he said as he produced the other shoe from underneath a pile of jeans.

"These are great, Edward. Why are they hiding back here?"

"I don't have anything to listen to them on," he said as he finished tying his shoe. "Ready to run?"

"Yeah, I guess." I sighed. "Do we have to?"

He laughed and grabbed my hand. "No, we don't _have_ to do anything."

"You did just conduct a minor excavation to unearth those shoes, so maybe we should."

"Let's go, then. You want to run on the beach?"

"Yes!" I said excitedly. "I never get to run on the beach."

"One of the perks of living five minutes away," he said, standing and pulling me up by my hands. He gathered me close and pressed his lips to mine, and a certain heat spread slowly through my body. I was glad I'd worn thick sweats to ward off the cold during our run, but the longer we kissed, I felt too hot in them.

"Okay then," he said when our kiss slowed. "Ready?"

I pulled back, a little dazed. It was the third time he'd done that–getting me all worked up, leaving me breathless, and then suggesting some menial everyday task. It was kind of funny, actually. I knew we both wanted to takes things slowly...but I could already tell that was going to be very, very difficult.


	11. Distractions

_A/N: I know I said I'd have this out almost a month ago, but man, the beginning of the semester had me so anxious. lol The next chapter definitely won't take as long. At least it wasn't almost three months this time, right? ;) Plus, I'll have a fun extra for you soon. Details after the chapter. Thanks to nowforruin for mad beta skillz. _

_Stephenie Meyer owns all things related to Twilight. I just do this for fun._

_A good song for this chapter: Cloud Nine by Ben Howard _

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It had been a week and a half since our first kiss. Eleven days. Each one of those days was heavenly. Kissing Edward, lying in his arms, simply being with him... Every day got better and better.

The afternoon was gloomy and cold, so we were lying on my couch watching a movie. Winter break would have been boring if I hadn't had Edward; it was the first semester that I didn't have a job. Being a couch potato wasn't normally my cup of tea, but I probably could've stayed snuggled up with him on that couch for days.

It seemed as though I was the only one paying any attention to the movie, but the tiny, lingering kisses he was pressing to the back of my neck were beginning to make that difficult.

"Do you actually have any idea what's going on right now?" I asked. My voice was a little breathier than I'd expected.

"Of course," he said as he ran his fingers through my hair. "We're cuddling on the couch, and I'm enjoying the soft skin" –he ran his fingers lightly over the curve between my neck and shoulder– "right here."

I laughed and turned on my other side to face him. "I meant in the movie, smarty-pants."

"Um..." His eyes flickered to the television. "Sigourney Weaver is running around in her underwear, trying to get away from the alien."

"So insightful," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Are you actually watching the movie? If you're bored, we can do something else."

He smirked and shrugged the shoulder he wasn't lying on. "It's just that your bare neck is right there in front of me. And you smell so good." He buried his face in my neck again and inhaled deeply. "It's pretty tempting. How am I supposed to pay attention to anything else?"

"Well, if it's that much of a distraction, I can move to the recliner..." I started to sit up, but he shifted onto his back and pulled me back down on top of him.

"You're not going anywhere," he murmured, bringing a hand to the back of my head and pulling me gently toward him. The kiss started out languid and lazy. His lips tugged and nipped at mine, but then his tongue was in my mouth, moving slowly against mine and stoking a fire deep within me.

His hands traveled down to the small of my back, where he caressed the sensitive skin just under the hem of my shirt. As things became more frantic, he moved his hands down to my backside and pulled my hips forward to meet his, and I could feel his erection growing against me.

"Oh, God," I mumbled. As if they had conspiring minds of their own, my legs fell to either side of him, leaving me straddling his hips. I pressed down where I wanted to feel him most. His response was a low groan in the back of his throat and the clutching of my hips as we slowly moved against one another. The layers of denim and cotton did nothing to diminish the pleasant torture throbbing throughout my body. It started between my thighs and shot through my abdomen, making my heart beat more rapidly, urging me forward.

And then the phone rang.

We broke apart quickly at the shrill noise, panting and staring wide-eyed at each other. I glanced sideways at my cell phone, which was singing away on the coffee table–my mom's ringtone. Answering the phone while straddling my boyfriend's lap didn't seem like the best idea, so I let the voicemail pick up.

"Um–" I started.

"I'm sorry," Edward said, running a hand through his hair and attempting to sit up. "I didn't mean to get so carried away."

"You're _apologizing_? Are you kidding me?" I spluttered. Then something dawned on me, and my hand flew to my mouth. "Unless you didn't want–"

"No, no," he insisted. "I want. Trust me, I _want_ very much. It's just that I'm trying really hard to honor your wish to take things slowly."

The logical side of my brain seemed to take over then, and I crawled backwards off his lap. "Right," I said. "Slowly."

Why had I said that again?

He grinned at me in a smug way as he sat up and adjusted his jeans. I knelt on the opposite end of the couch, pretty sure my face was eleven shades of red. Edward reached for my phone and handed it to me. "That was your mom's ringtone, right?"

"Yeah. That was her."

He stood and excused himself to the restroom, and I nodded, running my fingers through my hair and feeling kind of sheepish. I couldn't help but feel like a teenager who'd just been caught making out with her boyfriend. I supposed that was technically what had happened, but I felt silly. _Damn specific ringtones, _I thought. Who wanted to continue getting hot and heavy with her boyfriend, knowing that it was her mother just on the other end of the phone?

It rang again in my hands, startling me from my embarrassing thoughts. Mom hardly ever left voicemail; she just kept trying until she got an answer.

"Hi, honey!" she trilled when I answered. "How are you?"

"Good. How are you?"

"Oh, you know. Just trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of getting ready for Christmas. Are you coming over Christmas Eve?"

"Of course," I told her. It had become a tradition since I'd first moved out. I spent every Christmas Eve in my old bedroom, usually cuddled up with a little brother who was too excited to sleep.

"No running in the house!" Mom yelled suddenly.

"Um, I'll try my best not to," I joked.

She sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, honey. Benji has a friend over. I don't know how some people do it–have kids close together in age, I mean. It's hard enough keeping up with one six year old boy."

"I'm sure they keep each other occupied. But I can see how it would be so difficult after raising such a golden child like me."

She laughed. "Yes, you were a pretty mild-mannered six year old. Speaking of occupied, I guess Edward's been keeping you pretty busy. We haven't heard much from you since finals."

I looked up to see the man in question walk into the room carrying two mugs. A lovesick smile spread across my face at the sight of him. His hair stood up in every direction, and he had a goofy grin on his face.

"We've been hanging out a bit," I confirmed. "I've also been spending time with Rose and Alice. Almost finished with all my Christmas shopping."

"Oh, lucky you." She sighed. "I've only finished about a third of mine. So listen, I was calling to ask for a favor. Your father's work Christmas party is tonight. Would you be able to watch Benji for us?"

"Sure," I said, always up for spending time with the little guy. "What time should I come?"

"Actually, the party's at a hotel downtown, and I think we're staying there for the night. We could just drop him by and he can stay with you, if that's okay."

"Even better. A slumber party."

"Thank you so much, Bells," she said. "You're a lifesaver. He was going to sleep over at his friend Max's house, but Max has the flu. You can expect us around six. Is that all right?"

_Which actually means to expect them around six forty-five, _I thought. "That's fine. I'll see you tonight. Love you."

I hung up and took the mug Edward offered me. "Mmm, tea. Thank you."

He leaned over and kissed me once. "Earl Gray. And you're welcome."

"So, would you be up for some company tonight? Mom and Dad have a party to go to, and they're bringing Benji over."

Edward's eyes lit up as he drank carefully from the steaming mug. "Really? Awesome. I haven't seen the little guy in a while."

"You know, he probably won't even pay any attention to me if you're here," I said with a laugh.

"So...am I still staying here tonight then? Or would it not be appropriate?"

I hadn't thought about the fact that Edward had planned to stay over again. Spending our nights together was starting to become second nature, so it hadn't even occurred to me that it might be odd with Benji around. "I don't think it would be inappropriate. Anyway, he'd be heartbroken if you left."

"Oh, good," he said, smiling and pulled me into his side. The movie had ended, and _Gilligan's Island_ was on. "Now let's watch Mary Ann show the professor her coconuts."

x-x-x

"Edward!" A roughly four-foot-tall blur streaked across my living room and attached itself to Edward's legs.

"Hey, Benji. How's it going? Nice to see you too. I'm doing fine, thanks," I said, rolling my eyes as my parents came through the door.

"Boys will be boys and all that," my dad said, kissing my cheek.

"Hey, Dad. You're looking sharp." The man was actually wearing a suit. I could easily count the number of times I'd seen him in something other than his police uniform or a jeans with a t-shirt.

"Thanks. You're looking...comfortable."

I looked down at my flannel pajamas and fuzzy slippers, and then punched him playfully on the arm. "It's slumber party attire."

"You look gorgeous, Mom." My mom had always been pretty. Unlike Dad, she enjoyed getting dressed up. She rarely wore jeans.

"Thanks, honey. It looks like you're set up for a fun time!" Mom said as she hugged me and surveyed the room. I'd set out a stack of blankets for fort-building and dragged out my sparse collection of holiday decorations.

"Yeah, I thought it would be fun for him to help decorate my sad little tree." It was a raggedy, secondhand fake tree that was barely taller than me.

"Yeah!" Benji yelled, finally acknowledging me. He ran over excitedly. "Can we have hot chocolate and popcorn and watch Harry Potter?"

"Harry Potter?" I repeated. "That doesn't seem very Christmasy."

"It's his new thing. There are DVDs in his bag," Mom explained. "We're running a little behind, so we should really get going. Don't let him have too much sugar, or he'll be up all night. Unless you want him up all night. In that case, you'll be taking care of his cranky butt tomorrow."

I shrugged. "Okay."

There was a flurry of kisses, hugs and words like "be good" and "nothing to drink after nine o'clock." Then they were gone, and Benji rolled his eyes and wiped lipstick off his cheeks.

"So," Edward said, rubbing his hands together briskly. "What should we do first? Decorate the tree?"

"Yes. Can we have hot chocolate now? With whipped cream and sprinkles?"

"Sure, bud," I said as I ruffled his hair and headed for the kitchen. "I think I have whipped cream. I'm not sure about the sprinkles, though."

"Let's pull out the couch bed!" Benji suggested. I decided to leave that one up to Edward. The kid had always been fascinated with my pull-out couch. I didn't see what was so great about it. It had a thin mattress and poky springs, but he loved the thing. I listened to him chatting away with Edward, not really hearing what they said. I was really glad they got along so well. Not every guy would relish spending an evening with a six year old. A big grin spread across my face as I thought about how lucky I was to have Edward, and how stupid I'd been at first to almost not realize it.

I heard pieces of the conversation as I finished making our drinks. "...and I talked to Max on the phone, and he threw up right on the phone! It was so funny!"

"Hmm," Edward said. "It probably wasn't so funny for Max."

"Prolly not. But it was funny to me. And why are you wearing pajamas, anyway? Are you spending the night too?"

"Uh...would that be okay with you?"

"Yeah! Do you want to sleep on the couch bed? Because I really like it, but I guess I wouldn't mind sleeping in Bella's bed if you really wanted the couch bed. You probably can't sleep in Bella's bed, though. You're too big, and she takes up all the room anyway."

I giggled and could hear Edward holding back a laugh as well. "I don't mind if you take the couch bed. I'm sure Rosalie wouldn't mind if I sleep in her room."

I walked into the living room just in time to see Benji give him a dubious look. "You must not know Rosalie very well."

Edward finally gave into a gut-busting laugh.

"Hot chocolate is served, majesties," I announced, putting the mugs down on the coffee table. Benji approached his with zeal before I warned him that it was hot and to be careful.

"Can we decorate the tree now?" he asked, dipping his face into the mug to create a whipped cream mustache. "Look, I'm Dad." He erupted into giggles. _Great. I just served a sugary drink to an already hyper six year old._

"Yes, let's do the tree," I said. "I was counting on your help. I can't do it by myself." The three of us set to work pulling ornaments out of the box and hanging them on the tree.

"Hey, this one has me on it!" Benji said, showing Edward a decoupaged glass ornament that proclaimed my status as a big sister. On one side was a picture of me holding a newborn Benji, smiling broadly. The other side said _Big Sister Bella and Baby Benjamin_.

"Yeah, Mom's friend made that for me after you were born. They don't make many 'I'm the Big Sister' t-shirts for sixteen-year-olds. She decided I needed something for posterity, so she made this."

"Aw, you were so cute," Edward said, kissing the top of my head.

"I know," said Benji. "Thanks."

Edward laughed. "Well, I was talking to your sister, but I guess you were cute too."

"Eh, he's all right as far as little brothers go," I added with a wink.

Benji stuck his tongue out at me and turned to Edward. "Do you have any little brothers?"

"I have a little sister," he answered, "and one big brother."

"Bigger than you?" His eyes grew wide.

"Yeah. His name's Emmett."

Benji wrinkled his nose. "What kind of name is that? How old is your little sister? Can she play with me sometime?"

We both snickered. "It's an old-fashioned one. And my little sister is twenty-one, but I'm sure she'd love to play with you sometime. Maybe you can meet them both soon."

"Can we watch Harry now? And can we pull out the couch bed?" Benji asked as he hung the last ornament on a bottom branch. His enthusiasm had the tree looking a little bottom-heavy.

Once we had Benji situated on the pullout, Edward and I cuddled up in the recliner to watch the movie. He was doing less watching and more caressing, moving his hand periodically from my leg to my side to the back of my neck. "You have a problem paying attention to movies, don't you?" I said quietly.

"Only when you're around to distract me," he whispered, leaning over to kiss me.

"Ew, stop kissing," came a sleepy mutter from the couch.

To my surprise, those were the last words we heard from him that night. He fell asleep pretty quickly after that, and Edward and I tiptoed off to bed.

"Should I sleep in Rose's room?" he asked me when we reached mine.

I shrugged. "It's up to you. He's dead to the world once he's asleep, so it's not like he'll come crawling into bed with me or anything."

We brushed our teeth together, and Edward decided to sleep in my room. We lay down facing one another, snuggled up under the warm quilt. "You're a good sister," he said, running a finger down the side of my face and brushing my hair back. "You'd make a good mom someday, I think."

I balked at the idea. "I'm fairly certain that being a sister and being a mother are two completely different animals."

"Yeah, but you were old enough when he was born to know how things work. You'd be good with kids. Do you want to have any?"

"Not right this second, no," I teased him.

He snickered. "You know what I meant. One day. When you're older and married and stuff."

"To be honest, I don't really know. I mean, it seems like the thing to do, like the rational order of things. But I do know that I'll be at least twenty-eight before I decide."

"That's an awfully precise number."

"That's if I'm even married by then." The topic was making me feel uncomfortable. These were things that I'd been so sure of for the past few years of my life. I wasn't so sure what I wanted anymore when it came to the distant future. I was more interested in enjoying the present with Edward, so I not-so-subtly changed the subject. "So...did you get your class schedule all figured out?"

"Yes. I've got photography class with you–" he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose "–and Art History, Personal Finance, and the Buddhist Tradition."

"The Buddhist Tradition? I didn't even know that was offered."

"Wouldn't it be great if it inspired me to drop out of school and move to Asia or something? My parents would love it."

"I'm sure they would. So you still have no idea what to major in?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. I figure Art History will fulfill another humanities credit, and who can't benefit from learning how to manage their personal finances?"

A quiet giggle escaped me. "Maybe you could teach me some of that. My savings account has been significantly depleted now that I have no job."

"Really?" A concerned look crossed his face, and he combed his fingers through my hair. "Are...do you...I mean, you can pay your rent and everything, right?"

"Oh–yeah, I'm fine. It's not running _that_ low. And Rose is still paying half the rent, anyway."

"Really? She's with Em almost every night. You'd think she'd just get it over with and move in already."

"I think she feels bad about leaving me in the lurch. I've told her it doesn't matter, but she insists that she needs to keep her room. To be honest, I'm not sure she wants her parents to know how much she stays at your house."

"Ah, I see. And do your parents know how much I've been staying here?"

"They don't care. At least my mom doesn't. I think my dad just likes to stay blissfully unaware." I ran a finger down his jawline, eager to change the subject...or just stop the talking altogether. "I like it when you have a little bit of stubble."

"Huh," he said, closing his eyes and angling his face toward me more fully.

"It's kind of sexy," I whispered, leaning forward and brushing my lips over his jaw.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm." Those were the last words we spoke for quite a while. It was easy to lose myself in the slow kissing and gentle touching that came in the early stages of a relationship. I'd forgotten how pleasurable it could be to just lay together and kiss without any other intention. That wasn't to say I wasn't interesting in taking things further, but I didn't feel that we were ready yet. I didn't necessarily have a reason for feeling that way. Part of me thought maybe it was another defense tactic–like maybe if things didn't work out, then it wouldn't be so hard if we hadn't taken that intimate step. Thinking that made me feel incredibly guilty. It wasn't that I was expecting things to fall apart, but I hadn't been expecting it before either.

For now, I was trying to live in the moment. And I certainly didn't have a problem doing so when Edward's soft lips were attached to mine.

x-x-x

"What are you getting Benji for Christmas?" Rosalie asked me as we strolled down King Street a few days later. "Buying for kids is the best part of the season."

"He's really into Legos right now. I got him a few sets, and I think Edward got him a Star Wars one. He's also recently discovered the whole Harry Potter thing, so I got him Harry's wand."

"What about Edward? What are you getting him? And speaking of him, how are things going in that department? We haven't had any girl time. You've barely told me anything. Are you officially dating? Are you having sex with him?" The questions rushed forth all at once.

"Rose, take a breath, for crying out loud." I ticked off the answers to her questions on my fingers as I answered. "I don't know what I'm getting Edward for Christmas. Things are going extremely well. Yes, we're...a couple, I guess you'd say. And not that you need to know, but no, we haven't had sex."

"Well why on earth not?" she asked, her eyes alight with the possibility of dramatic girl talk.

"We're so not talking about this while walking down a busy street," I said with a laugh.

"Aw, come one. You're no fun."

"Just help me find something to give him, okay?"

Her eyes lit up again, and she rushed off to the men's side of the über trendy shop. Then it hit me. There was the perfect gift for Edward. It was like there was a big, flashing arrow pointing straight to it. Actually, there _was_ a big, flashing arrow hanging from the ceiling above it, proclaiming its sale price. "I found it," I told her.

She didn't try to disguise her lack of enthusiasm. "That's it? A record player?"

"Yes! It's perfect!" I gushed. "I found this whole crate of records just gathering dust in the back of his closet."

She shrugged. "Meh. It's not very personal."

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want me to buy him? Underwear? Is that personal enough?"

"Ooh!" Her eyes lit up again and she clapped her hands together. "Yes. Underwear. But not for him. For _you_ to wear, but for him to enjoy."

"I don't even have a response for that, Rosalie." I blew my hair out of my eyes and knelt down to pick up the box containing the turntable.

"At least get him something else small and more personal. Maybe you could make him something to go with it. Like a picture frame with your picture in it."

"You know I'm not creative like you, Rose. But I'd happily buy one from you if you wanted to make it."

She shrugged. "I'll make one, but you don't have to buy it."

I paid for the record player, and we decided to have an early dinner before going home. Emmett had to go out of town for work for a few days, and Rose was actually spending time at our apartment. We spent the evening chatting further about Christmas plans and getting caught up on day-to-day details.

"We should've invited Alice over," I said as we settled on the couch later that night.

"Oh, she and Jasper had plans tonight. You can't pry those two apart for more than a few minutes anyway."

I burst into laughter, almost spitting out the water I'd just sipped. "Rosalie Hale, you are one to talk! You've been glued to Emmett's side since you met him."

She huffed. "Well, it's not like you haven't been spending every waking hour with Edward. And some sleeping hours." She raised an eyebrow and grinned at me. "Don't think we haven't noticed that he hasn't been coming home most nights."

I smiled. "It's not like he gets quality sleep at his place, what with you and Emmett banging the walls all the time."

Rose giggled and lay back on the couch, twirling a lock of her long blond hair around a finger. "Besides, I can recall quite a few nights not so long ago–in this very apartment–where I had to search for earplugs."

I laughed and threw a pillow at her. "Stop it. You did not."

"Oh, Bella dear, yes I did. Jacob was a loud grunter. And oh my God, the 'oh yeahs' were plentiful." She did an impression of him that made me dissolve into giggles and fall onto the floor in the tangled afghan. "Oh yeah," she said in her rough imitation of his deep voice. "Oh _yeah. _Unh, unh. _Oh yeah, baby!" _

"Ew, Rose! Don't remind me," I sputtered between laughs.

We laughed until our sides hurt and tears streamed down our faces. "I'm so happy to see you happy and laughing again," Rosalie said as she sighed and wiped her eyes.

"I really am happy. Everything is just...really good right now. I still feel like I might wake up if I pinch myself."

"You won't," she said with a sage nod of her head. "I wonder that myself sometimes. And it hasn't happened yet."

That night, I dreamed that I was walking along on a narrow ledge. There were two options when my path ran out: step down onto the safety of the rooftop that had suddenly appeared, or take the long fall into the unknown. I looked to the right to see the lonely, empty rooftop. There was nothing there. It seemed to be an endless expanse of boredom. I could hear noises coming from the fog below. And even though I didn't know what to expect and had no way of protecting myself, I closed my eyes and fell.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so here's the deal. You've probably heard about the upcoming FGB compilation for Autism Awareness Month in April. This is a cause that is extremely important to me. My niece has Autism, so writing for this compilation is something that took no thought or decision at all. All you have to do is donate $5 to Autism Speaks or another organization that works with Autism research, and you get a wonderful compilation full of one-shots from some of your favorite authors. _

_So if you'd like an outtake from You Should Know, this is your chance! It probably won't be posted anywhere else. I'll give more details once I straighten some things out. :) Thanks for reading!_


	12. Holly Jolly

_A/N: so...this sat in my documents folder for weeks before i sent it to super beta nowforruin. then it sat in my inbox for weeks after i got it back. sorry about that. busy end of the semester, and i wasn't really feeling the writing thing. :/ anyway, here it is! hope you enjoy it. thanks for reading._

_good song for this chapter: "more of you" by the avett brothers_

* * *

As I had come to expect each and every Christmas Eve for the past three years, Benji crawled into bed with me at around eleven o'clock that night. I'd just gone to bed after helping Mom wrap the last of the gifts and cleaning up the kitchen from our earlier baking endeavor.

"Dude, your feet are freezing," I told him as he snuggled up to me.

"But you're warm, so they won't be cold for very long," he said, sighing as he settled down and hugged his teddy bear to his chest. "Do you think Santa will come soon?"

"He won't come until you're asleep. You know that."

He looked up at me and batted his crazy-long eyelashes. "If you scratch my back, I might fall asleep faster."

I chuckled but complied with his wishes. I couldn't deny the little guy anything, and he knew it.

"What is Santa going to bring you?" he asked me. "I hope he brings me a Wii."

"A Wii?"

"Yes. I hope he still has plenty. All my friends want one too. Plus, Mom wants it too so she can exercise."

I chuckled and squeezed him in a hug. "I'm sure Santa has plenty of them. But he won't come till you're asleep."

He was quiet for a few minutes, but when I thought he was finally drifting off, he whispered, "B? Can we listen to music?" So I reached over and turned the radio on low. As I listened to my little brother's breathing even out and the quiet lullaby of Christmas carols over the airwaves, the calmness lulled me into a deep sleep.

Christmas morning was a little chaotic, with Benji becoming more and more excited with each present he opened. He got the Wii he'd wished for, as well as an abundance of Legos and Harry Potter loot. Mom and Dad gave me a nice coffee maker and some books and clothes. As much fun as it was to watch Benji open his gifts, I was most excited to finally give Edward his. After the sea of wrapping paper was cleared away, we enjoyed a big family breakfast. Then we set up the Wii for a rousing game of Mario Kart.

Benji was busy assigning everyone their characters when the doorbell rang. When I opened the front door, Edward was standing on the porch in a reindeer-covered Christmas sweater, grinning and holding a pile of gifts. "Merry Christmas," he said, leaning over his armful of packages to give me a quick kiss.

"Hi. Merry Christmas. Love the sweater." I tried unsuccessfully to hold back laughter.

He rolled his eyes. "Tradition. Mom insists, Em eggs her on, and Alice protests. Dad and I just do as we're told."

I giggled and helped him bring the presents into the living room. "Edward!" Benji yelled.

My parents and Edward exchanged greetings, and he carefully placed the brightly-wrapped boxes on the coffee table. "So how big was the lump of coal Santa left in your stocking?" he teased Benji.

"He didn't! He left me this," Benji enthused, pointing his remote at the television and shaking it around. "Wanna play with us? Bella will probably take turns with you."

"I think I'm okay for now," Edward answered. "Maybe later, though, okay?"

He nodded his head, too engrossed in creating his little character to really pay any attention, but then the colorful packages on the table somehow caught his eye. "Are those for me?" he asked, eyes sparkling and hands folded in front of his chest.

Edward laughed. "A few of them are. You want to open them now?"

The only answer was the wild tearing of wrapping paper and little yells of excitement at yet another new lego set. Benji shouted a thanks to Edward and bequeathed him with a short hug. He put his new toys in a pile with the others and went back to bossing Mom and Dad around, telling them how to create a character on the game.

Edward picked up the last, smallest package and grabbed me by the hand, leading me back to my bedroom. "It took me a while to figure out what to get you," he said once we were alone.

"Me too," I said with a shy smile. "But I think I found the perfect gift in the end."

"Not to be conceited or anything," he said with a smirk, "but I think I might win." He presented me with the small box. I took it gingerly, feeling my face warm slightly. We sat next to each other on the bed, and I began to peel the tape from the paper.

He laughed. "What is it with women not wanting to tear the paper up? That's part of the fun, you know."

"Years of training," I shot back. "Mom likes to recycle." I smoothed and folded the wrapping paper into a square, then picked up the small white box and shook it. "Hmm. No rattling."

"Just open it, Bella," he said exasperatedly.

I lifted the top from the box to find a piece of folded white paper. "What's this?" I asked, glancing sideways at Edward.

"Unfold it and find out," he said. He was visibly nervous, fidgeting with a throw pillow from the bed.

I unfolded it to find a picture of a telescope. It took me a minute, but I began to recognize the corner of my bedroom nearest the window. Moonlight was streaming in, putting the telescope in a spotlight of sorts. "This is...my room. You got me a telescope?"

He grinned and nodded. "I knew you didn't have one, and I thought...well...you're an astronomy major..."

I blinked a couple of times as I stared at the photograph. "You got me a telescope?" I repeated.

"It's not a super top-of-the-line model or anything," he answered quickly. "Just a little something..." He trailed off, and I realized that he was trying to gauge my reaction. I looked up at him with a huge smile and threw my arms around his neck.

"Thank you so much! Oh my gosh, Edward, it's the best present ever."

I felt him sigh and bury his face in my hair. "You really like it? I was kind of nervous you'd think it was too much or the wrong kind or something."

"I love it. I really do." I kissed him softly on the lips. "I can't wait to play with it later."

He snorted, and my face reddened as we both grinned at the unintended sexual innuendo. I decided to ignore it and stood to pick up Edward's gift from my desk. "Here you go," I said, presenting it to him with a flourish. His gift to me may have been amazing, but I was still excited and confident that he'd love mine.

"Wow," he said, taking it from me and attempting to shake it. "It's heavy."

"Open it!" I said, bouncing on the bed next to him.

"Okay, okay. Miss Impatient." He winked at me and kissed me on the cheek before tearing into the paper. My anticipation grew with each ripping sound, and when the box was revealed, a little thrill went through me as I watched his jaw drop. "Bella...oh, wow." He turned the box around and looked at the picture of the vintage-style turntable on the front.

"I saw it and thought of all those old records wasting away in your closet. I can't wait to listen to them."

"Neither can I," he said, setting the box aside and kissing me. "This is so awesome, Bella. Thank you." His hands went to either side of my face, and the kiss lingered. It was soft and playful with gentle nips, and it ended way too soon for my tastes. Like magnets, my lips followed his as he pulled back. He chuckled, and when he spoke, his voice was low and rich. "If we weren't at your parents' house... Can we finish that later?"

I nodded and smiled shyly. "Can we go soon, then?"

Edward laughed, head tilted back and eyes shining. "I think your family might be upset if I whisk you away so soon on Christmas. And my parents want to see you too."

I shrugged. "It was worth a try."

We split the remainder of the day between my family and the Cullens. Dinner at the Cullens' was surprisingly a much smaller affair than Thanksgiving. Edward's grandparents were there, and members of his family had been dropping in throughout the day. I was relieved; Thanksgiving Day at their house had been overwhelming. Jasper and Rose were there as well, and the happiness practically shone on Esme's face. I thought she'd dipped into the egg nog a few times–she kept telling us all how much she loved us and how glad she was to have us as part of her family.

I was exhausted by the end of the day. Edward had driven me to my parents' house the night before, since we'd be spending a lot of the day together and going back to my apartment. I had to admit that I'd missed Rose at first when she had started staying with Emmett every night, but now that Edward and I were together, it was nice to have the place to ourselves. After such an eventful day, it was bliss to stretch out and relax without interruption.

We lay on my bed that night in pajamas, talking in between kisses. The length of conversation grew shorter each time, and the kissing became more heated.

"Plans for New Year's Eve?" Edward asked huskily, attempting once again to break the steamy sexual tension between us. I opened my eyes with some effort. His were heavily lidded, and his lips were as swollen as mine felt. I knew he was worried about me feeling rushed, but I was caving quickly. And at the moment, I was a little too dazed, the room spinning a bit too much for me to be coherent.

"Uh...no? I mean, I don't know. Let's just do this," I murmured, diving back in to kiss him again. Every time our lips met, my whole body tingled. When he tilted his head to kiss me more deeply, tingles turned to warm waves that spread from my chest out into my limbs, down into the pit of my stomach, and ended between my thighs. I wanted so badly for him to touch me, but his hands never ventured lower than my waist. I pressed myself against his chest, and his hands rubbed slowly up and down my back. He dragged his lips from my mouth, across my jaw and down my neck, leaving a path of open-mouthed kisses. The feeling of his tongue on the sensitive skin underneath my ear made my heart stutter. He bit my earlobe lightly before whispering, "You're so beautiful, Bella."

He hesitated–like he wanted to say more–but he pulled back slightly and smiled at me before kissing me fully on the mouth. I thought I knew exactly what he wanted to say, because I was feeling inklings of it myself.

I also knew that we wouldn't be "taking it slowly" for much longer.

x-x-x

Thanks to my ingenious idea of giving him a record player for Christmas, Edward and I were lounging around his bedroom the evening after New Year's Day, listening to his collection of vintage albums. As _Abbey Road_ came to an end, I went to sit on the floor in front of the crate full of vinyl. I chose a Dire Straits album on a whim and put on one of my favorite songs, "Romeo and Juliet," and then went back to flipping through the titles.

"I forgot about this song," Edward said from his desk chair. "My dad used to play this all the time." He started murmuring the lyrics to himself as he did whatever it was he was doing on his computer. Suddenly, I felt him kneel behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, singing quietly along with the song, "_You an' me babe, how 'bout it?"_

I giggled. "I've always loved that part."

He kissed behind my ear and said, "And I love _you_." My heart leapt into my throat, and there was a shocked pause on both of our parts. I felt him stiffen slightly. "I–that just slipped out," he said quietly.

My hands started to shake slightly, so I pulled them into my lap. I didn't know what to say. He let out a long breath and moved to sit next to me on the floor, taking one of my hands in both of his. "I do, though, Bella. I wasn't going to say it yet, because I didn't want to push you or anything." He let out a small laugh and ran a hand through his hair, then tilted my chin gently so I'd look him in the eye. "But it's true. I love you, Bella."

I knew he did. And I felt badly for making him feel as though he would scare me away by telling me. I swallowed thickly and blinked as my eyes began to sting a little. "Edward, it's okay. You're not pushing. I don't want you to feel like you have to hold anything back." I grinned at him, and he smiled back at me tentatively before kissing me. I trailed kisses up to his ear and whispered, "And I love you too."

His head jerked back, and his expression was heart-melting and humorous all at once, eyebrows raised and mouth quirked up on one side in my favorite smile. "You do?"

I nodded.

"You're not just saying it because you feel like you have to say it back, are you? Because you–" I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. "I love you, Edward," I said again. "I'm saying it because I mean it."

He pulled me into his lap and gave me a bone-crushing hug. "God, that's amazing," he said. "I was so afraid of moving too fast. You said you wanted to take things slowly."

I shrugged. "Maybe that's overrated."

He chuckled and pulled me closer. I wrapped my legs around him and attacked him with my mouth. It didn't start out slowly, and there was nothing overly romantic about it. Our tongues slid together immediately, and those hot waves of desire began to thrum through my body again. I felt him harden underneath me, and I pressed myself against his erection. The friction made us both moan and utter oaths between breaths.

His hands went to my hips and pulled me tighter against him. "So good," he muttered into my ear, sending another wave of heat from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I cursed the layers of denim between us. The throbbing between my legs was becoming unbearable. I lifted up briefly to move to my knees, giving me a better angle to grind myself against him.

"Oh," I uttered lowly. "That's so..." I didn't actually have words for how blissful it felt.

"Yeah..." He trailed off, his hips moving up to meet mine as best he could while sitting cross-legged on the floor. He moved us backward so he was sitting up against the wall and stretched his legs out in front of him. I could feel even more of him in this position. "That's better," he said huskily, his eyes on mine. His hands moved from my hips up my sides and slid underneath my shirt. He wasted no time pulling the cups of my bra down and sliding his thumbs over my hardened nipples. "Bella," he mumbled, sounding as incoherent as I felt. I moaned, and my head lolled back as he rolled my nipples between his very capable fingers.

The sensation sent shockwaves straight to my center, and I felt a familiar pressure building there. "Oh, God. I think I'm going to..." I couldn't bring myself to say the words, a little embarrassed and shy at our first sexual contact.

"Yes..." he said, sucking my earlobe into his mouth and pinching my nipples.

I whimpered slightly as the feeling mounted and narrowed to a point, then exploded outward. Waves of pleasure pulsed through me as we moved against each other. I made sounds I didn't recognize against his neck as I kissed and licked him there.

"I'm right there," he mumbled, pushing up and rubbing himself harder against me. He groaned and tightened his grip on my hips, bucking against me and groaning loudly. His head thumped back against the wall, and I slumped forward on his chest, my face buried in his neck. As I slowly came back to myself, I began to feel slightly sheepish. That feeling was short-lived, however, because the radiant smile on his face when I raised my head tentatively told me that he wasn't embarrassed at all. He pulled me forward and kissed me soundly. "That felt so..."

I nodded. We were apparently having trouble with adjectives at the moment. To be honest, I was having trouble with any kind of speech at all. Edward wasn't. He whispered that he loved me again before disappearing into the bathroom to...clean up.

I sat breathless on the floor for a few seconds before sprawling out on my back with a huge, satisfied grin on my face.

Edward Cullen loved me.

And I loved him back.


	13. Cold and Hot

_A/N: Big thanks to my beta, nowforruin. 3 Thanks so much for reading. Reviews are greatly appreciated._

_a good song for this chapter: Green Eyes by Coldplay_

* * *

The new year had begun on a wonderful note, and I was happier than I'd been in a long time. With the new semester approaching quickly, Edward and I were taking advantage of every free minute we had. The spring semester would bring a jam-packed schedule for me, and he had just informed me that he'd decided to get a part time job.

"A bellhop?" I asked with a smirk on my face. "At the Francis Marion?"

He nodded tentatively. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"No..." I tried to keep my expression neutral. "But will you be wearing one of those bellhop uniforms?"

Edward sighed. "Yes. I know it's a silly outfit, but it pays pretty well. There aren't many job openings this time of year."

"Hmm. I'm not sure if I think it's silly or hot. I do love a man in uniform."

"Get over here," he growled, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me onto his lap. I squealed, and his lips attacked my neck. The rain began to fall harder outside, but it couldn't have been more cozy inside Edward's bedroom. His hands crept up the back of my shirt as I pressed my chest closer to his; the tickle of his skin against mine caused another tickle somewhere lower. Before we could really get into it, there was a knock at his door.

A small, muffled voice came through the door. "Edward? Are you home?"

Edward dropped his head to my shoulder and sighed. "Alice."

"She sounds upset," I said as I climbed off his lap and crossed the room. I was right. Alice stood red-eyed and fidgeting in the doorway. Her lip pushed out in a heartbreaking pout before it began to tremble. "Bella!" she wailed and threw her arms around me, causing me to stumble backward into the room.

"Whoa! What on earth is wrong?" Edward asked.

"J-J-Jasper," she managed to stutter before dissolving into sobs.

I led her over to the bed and sat next to her, rubbing her back, holding her hand, and trying not to panic. "What's the matter with Jasper? Is he hurt?"

"No."

I sighed a little in relief.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked again, kneeling in front of her. "Did you break up?"

"No." She hiccuped and rubbed at her eyes. "He's leaving."

"Leaving?" I repeated. "What do you mean? He just bought a house here. He can't be leaving."

Alice shook her head again. "He's going away for work."

"Oh, Alice," I said, chuckling a bit. "Jasper travels for work all the time!"

She shot me an irritated look. "But he'll be gone for a whole month."

"A month? Geez, Alice. I thought he'd done something to hurt you," Edward said.

"It does hurt," she muttered with a pout.

"It's thirty days," he said, deadpan.

"Thirty-two," she countered, "with travel."

I shot Edward a you're-so-not-helping look and tried to intervene. "School is starting soon, and you'll be so busy that you won't even have time to miss him."

Alice flopped back dramatically on the bed. "Yes, I will! Don't say I won't miss him. I miss him already."

"Where's he going?"

She sighed. "Seattle."

"Well, that's not too horrible," I said. "And at least you can talk on the phone every day. And there's Skype, too."

Alice rolled over onto her side and snuggled one of Edward's pillows. "Maybe I could take the semester off from school and go with him."

"That's ridiculous!" Edward said after a short laugh. "Alice, you're overreacting. Anyway, Seattle's so rainy and cold. Even if you could go with him, you'd be miserable in that weather."

Alice looked pointedly out the window. The rain continued to beat down through the cold January evening.

"Well, that just proves my point. It's like this almost every day there," he insisted. "At least we have more sunny days than rainy."

"You've never even been to Seattle, Edward," she said, crossing her arms around her middle.

"We can do lots of fun things together to make the time go by quickly, okay?" I told her. "We can go out dancing and shopping...whatever you want."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

"Ali?" a sheepish voice asked from the doorway. Three pairs of eyes looked up to see Jasper standing there with a worried look on his face. "Are...are you okay?"

She turned away quickly, sniffling and wiping at her eyes. "Yes," she said. "I'm okay."

Edward snorted, and I shook my head at him. He might've thought it was silly, and yes, she may have been overreacting, but the last thing I wanted was for him to hurt his sister's feelings.

Jasper stepped tentatively into the room. "Are you sure? What's the matter?"

Alice tensed with the obvious effort of trying not to cry again and bit her lip, looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"She's upset about you leaving," I told him.

His eyes widened, and he crossed the room in two strides. "Why didn't you tell me, Ali?" he asked as he sat next to her and took her in his arms. Apparently, that was the last straw, as she began sobbing again. "You seemed fine when you left my house." He stroked her hair.

She shrugged. "I didn't want you to see that I was upset."

I caught Edward's eye and tilted my head toward the door. He nodded, and we silently retreated to the living room. "Damn," he said. "It's not like he's going away forever. I've never seen her so upset."

"I think I'd be pretty sad if I didn't get to see you for a month," I told him shyly.

"Really?" His expression softened, and he kissed my cheek.

I nodded.

"I love you," he said. I smiled against his chest as he pulled me in for a tight hug. Ever since we'd said those three words to one another, he used them as often as he could. I basked in it.

"I love you, too."

x-x-x

The next day, we were on the couch at my apartment, doing a crossword puzzle together. Cabin fever was starting to set in. The rain had only let up for short periods over the previous few days, and I was craving sun and a good run. I refused to run on a treadmill. It just wasn't the same.

"I'm bored," I said, drawing out the words as I flopped back against the couch.

"Sorry I'm not entertaining enough for you," Edward teased.

"Of course you are," I told him with a kiss. "I'm just tired of being cooped up inside."

He stood and went to the window. "It looks like the sun might be peeking out," he said with a hopeful look. "Want to go for a run?"

I jumped off the couch and ran to the window. "Really?" I saw several breaks in the clouds, and my mood automatically lifted. "Yes! Let's go."

We were changed and on the road in record time. "It feels so good to stretch my legs," Edward said.

I nodded and grinned. We ran in companionable silence and made it halfway to the Battery before we felt sprinkles of rain start up again.

"Noooo," I groaned.

"Just wait. It might be a short sprinkle."

He was wrong. The skies suddenly opened and drenched us almost immediately. We turned and began to run back to my house, laughing and shaking our heads. Why we had thought it was a good idea to try for a run in the unpredictable Charleston winter weather, I'd never know. The cold had been biting at first, but once I was soaked to the skin, I actually started getting numb.

"You good?" Edward asked, panting at the quicker pace we'd adopted to try to reach home and dry warmth.

My teeth were chattering. "I'm okay," I said, even though I could barely see through the sheets of rain. It was dripping into my eyes, and I had to wipe it away every few seconds. My lungs burned with the frigid air, and my muscles were getting tighter. We both breathed in audible relief when my house came into view. I continued running right up the stairs and inside my front door, not stopping until I reached the hall outside my bedroom. I leaned over to catch my breath, my hands on my knees. Edward slumped against the doorframe, chest heaving and shoulders shaking with the laughter he was trying to hold back. My shirt was wet and heavy, so I stood and peeled it off as I made my way toward my only focus: a hot shower.

The laughter stopped abruptly. "Bella?" Edward's voice sounded strained through his panting breaths.

I turned. "Is something wrong?" He seemed fine physically, but there was an odd look on his face as his eyes flicked down to my chest. He raised his eyebrows, and I looked down at my white sports bra to see that it was nearly transparent in its soaked state. My nipples were very obviously hard, and my skin was quite visible through the fabric.

"Oh!" I cried, folding my arms over my chest. "I'm sorry. I was just–"

"Sorry? Oh, no." He shook his head and his expression went from shocked to cocky. A sly grin made one side of his mouth turn up. "Don't be sorry." He reached forward and took my hands, bringing my arms back down to my sides. "I'm very, very appreciative." He reached out slowly and slid his hand along the bare, wet skin of my stomach. The other hand joined in, and they made a slow journey up my body. My heart, which had just begun to slow from its overworked state, began to pound in my chest; I closed my eyes at the electric feeling of his hands on me.

I gulped. "I...um...I was just going to take a hot shower. Warm up."

His hands shook slightly, and I watched him shiver as his eyes closed. He brought his lips to my ear. "Maybe we should...shower together." I felt him smile against me. "Skin to skin is the quickest way to warm up."

That familiar tingling warmth shot suddenly from my chest downward. "I think–" I sighed as his lips trailed down from my ear to the side of my neck. "I think that's a good idea."

He pulled back, his eyes alight and slightly surprised. "Yeah?"

I nodded, and our lips met in a slow kiss that quickly turned heated. His hands continued to explore my bare skin as he backed me toward the bathroom. Despite being chilled to the bone, I thought I might melt in his arms when my butt hit the counter. He lifted me up to sit beside the sink and backed away for just a second to start the hot water. He was back in a flash, arms around me and lips on mine. I tugged at the hem of his soaked shirt, pulling it up and over his head, and dropped it to the floor. It made a heavy, smacking sound against the tiles. Edward's hands had begun to make their descent, stopping at the hem of my yoga pants. He hesitated for a second before pushing them down my hips, and I lifted up so he could take them off completely. His pants followed, and our eyes roamed one another's bodies as we faced each other in just our underwear. I was thankful for the small amount of clothing still left as I burned under his gaze.

"Beautiful," he murmured before nipping at my lips again. His tongue slid into my mouth, and his erection pressed between my legs. My hands slipped over his wet chest, and I wrapped my legs around him. Everything else blurred at the edges of my vision when I opened my eyes. I was shocked to find his eyes already open. He grinned at me and took his delicious lips away from mine only to drop them to my collarbone. I moaned quietly as he scraped his teeth along my neck and down again to my chest. Cold fingers played at the bottom of my sports bra before pinching my nipples. I let out an embarrassing moan then, and he chuckled.

"The water's going to get cold," Edward rasped.

I nodded, hopped down from the counter, and began to remove the bra, but he stilled my hands and smiled that cocky smile again. "Let me," he said. He peeled the soaked fabric up slowly, and I raised my arms as his hands slid up, up, up my body. Another layer was peeled away, and with that went the last bit of my inhibition. I pushed him backward with my hands on his chest, letting them fall to tug on the waist of his black boxer briefs. His erection sprang free, and I bit my lip and tried to keep from staring in anticipation.

I stepped out of my cotton panties, and we entered the shower together. He held me against him, our chests pressed tightly together. My skin prickled at the contrast of hot water and freezing skin. Edward's cock pressed against my stomach; I looked him in the eye as I reached down to take it in my hand. He groaned and dropped his head to my shoulder as I stroked velvety skin stretched over hard muscle. His hands smoothed over my backside and squeezed.

"Bella," he breathed. Some noise I couldn't identify fell from my lips. "Bella, stop." His forehead moved to mine. "It's been a while. I'm...it's too much."

I grinned wickedly and stroked him harder. "Good."

He relented and let my hands work him. I dragged my lips along his chest, tasting him with my tongue as I explored his body. His hands left my ass and moved to support his weight against the tiles. I felt every muscle in his body tense; my inner muscles squeezed at the sight of him aroused and falling apart at my touch.

"Bella, I'm gonna..." He groaned loudly as his cock twitched and then spilled over my hands. The water washed it away while I continued to caress him. "God," he said, and then kissed me soundly. The temperature of the water started to cool as our tongues stroked one another and our hands slipped over planes and ridges and curves.

We were both sufficiently warmed and beyond. Without uttering a word, I turned off the shower and stepped out to grab towels. Edward took mine and made gentle, almost reverent passes over my body, absorbing every drop of water. He sank to his knees to dry my lower half, and when he was satisfied with the results of his work, kissed a light trail up my thighs. He ended with a lingering kiss at my pelvic bone, his eyes promising more as he looked up at me. When we were both dry, he picked me up, and I giggled as he carried me back into my bedroom. All traces of silly laughter were gone once he laid me on the bed and crawled over me with a smoldering expression on his face.

"Do you know how sexy you are?" he asked me between kisses.

I threaded my fingers through his hair. "No."

"No? I'll just have to show you then." He wasted no time surrounding my pert nipple with his lips, sucking gently and then flattening his tongue out to lick. I was rendered breathless and speechless as he started downward, lips nipping here and there, and suddenly he was kneeling between my legs, spreading them with his hands and leaning down to press another kiss there. I jumped when his tongue touched me for the first time, but I settled quickly into the blissful feeling of his mouth exploring me.

"Oh, God," I breathed, reaching down to tangle my fingers in his hair. I felt him push a finger inside me, and my muscles immediately clamped down. It had been a while for me, too; I was going to tell him as much, but an embarrassing sound came out instead when he crooked his finger forward and found that elusive spot, bringing sensations that I'd never felt before. "Edward," I moaned.

He lifted one of my legs over his shoulder and redoubled his efforts, licking slowly upward and then circling my clit with his tongue. He pushed two fingers in and pumped them slowly in and out; I could feel the beginnings of my orgasm as he established a rhythm. My hips bucked up. "I'm so...oh...oh..." My hands pushed slightly against his head as I clenched around his fingers once, twice, and then shockwaves were speeding through my body. I cried out, and my back arched as euphoria took over, leaving behind a trembling and utterly spent Bella.

Edward withdrew his fingers and pressed one more tiny kiss against me before crawling back up my body. "I want you," he practically growled before attacking my mouth with his. I moaned again, tasting myself on his lips and tongue. That had never turned me on before, but everything with Edward was different. Exquisite.

"Please," I said.

"Condom?" he asked as he slid against my wetness. The sensation of feeling him bare against my sensitive, slick skin rendered me almost dumb. I knew he'd asked a question, and I gathered my wits to answer.

"I'm on the pill."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure? I'm clean, but..."

I nodded. "Me too. I'm so sure."

He smiled crookedly and kissed me again. Our bodies lined up, and I felt the tip of his cock enter me slowly. My head tilted back as he slowly pushed forward. When he was in all the way, he stilled and kissed me. I felt so full, so...complete.

"You feel amazing," he rasped into my ear. He pulled out a little, and my hips followed the rhythm he began to set. I wrapped my legs around him and felt him all around me. His weight on top of me grounded me, and we looked deeply into each other's eyes. It became too much, too intense, so I closed my eyes and let my head fall back again. My body was still sensitive from my first orgasm, and the push and pull thrust me quickly into the throes of another one, almost impossibly stronger and overpowering.

"Yes," he said softly as I tensed and squeezed my legs around his waist. My fingers dug into the muscles of his back, and he began to thrust a bit harder, a bit more quickly. "I'm close. So good, Bella." His length dragged along my swollen flesh as he pushed in and pulled out, and I thought I would come again before he finished. But soon he was groaning into my neck and clutching at me like a drowning man. He shuddered and relaxed against me as we basked in the afterglow together.

"I love you so much," Edward murmured.

I shivered and ran my fingers lightly up and down his back. "I love you, too."

He raised his head and shot me my favorite lopsided grin. "That was amazing."

I laughed. "I agree. Remind me why we were taking things slowly."

He shook his head and pulled out of me, lying next to me on the bed and pulling me to his side. "Did I tell you I love you?"

"Yes," I said, "but I never get tired of hearing it." I kissed his chest and started to get up, wincing at the slight soreness. "I need to..." I gestured toward the bathroom, and he nodded.

I cleaned up quickly and brought a small towel back for him, then crawled back into bed to cuddle up next to him.

"Are you still cold?" he asked."

"Not really," I said, "but I think we'd better stay under the covers naked, just in case."

He chuckled and trailed his fingers along my arm. "Are you okay? I mean, that was okay, right?"

"It was more than okay," I assured him.

"Good. Because I'm already thinking of when we're going to do it again."

I laughed loudly and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For waiting for me." I felt my face warm and cast my eyes down to our joined hands. I'd never been good at expressing feelings, but it was a little easier with Edward than anyone else. Still, I felt silly tears prick at my eyes when I tried to vocalize the emotions I was feeling. "I know it was frustrating, and I didn't make it very easy."

He tilted my chin up so I had to look him in the eye. "Don't. You needed time, and I was happy to give it to you." He got a wicked look in his eye and an evil grin on his lips before he kissed me soundly. "Besides, it was definitely worth the wait."

I giggled – when had I turned into a girl who giggled? – and nuzzled into his neck. We were quiet for a bit as we lay in each other's arms, listening to the early evening rain pelting the windows and roof. I smiled when I heard the first quiet snore that always told me Edward had drifted off. And before long, the coziness of being snuggled up under the covers as it continued to rain, paired with the sound of Edward's steady breaths, lulled me into a satisfying evening nap.


	14. Steadfast

_A/N: So. This is the last chapter. It's bittersweet! I'm actually nervous and a little sad about hitting that "complete" button. Haha! A million thank yous to nowforruin, the best beta I could've asked for. Her honesty and butt-kicking encouragement has really shown me what I can do. Thanks so much, bb._

_And if you're reading this, thank you, thank you, thank you! I wouldn't be writing it without you lovely readers! All the reviews have been lovely and enthusiastic and really spurred me on when I didn't feel like writing. _

_Credit for the note on the back of the picture in this chapter goes to Band of Horses. It's from their song "Cigarettes, Wedding Bands." Great song – give it a listen! _

_Good song for this chapter: "Two Doves" by Dirty Projectors_

* * *

Telling Alice that we could do whatever she wanted while Jasper was gone may not have been my brightest idea. Of course, I'd meant it in the moment that I'd said it, but good lord...Alice had really taken it to heart. So far, over the three weeks that Jasper had been in Seattle, we'd had five "old-fashioned" sleepovers; we'd eaten more junk food than I cared to admit, and we'd discovered a lot of new places to shop and eat.

Spending so much time with Alice was hard on my bank account.

But in all honesty, I enjoyed spending girl time with her and Rosalie. On the third Thursday that Jasper had been gone, we were enjoying yet another night gathered on the couch with takeout, watching the regular weekly sitcoms.

"Do you think those two will ever get their act together and kiss already?" Rose asked between bites of her Vietnamese noodle salad. "How many seasons can they go on with this 'will they or won't they' thing? It's getting old."

"I think they will," Alice said. "I like the playful banter and flirting, though. I kind of like how it's playing out."

I smirked. The repartee of the couple on the television reminded me a bit of Edward and myself – the way our initial flirtation had taken the form of witty conversation and constant teasing. Our relationship really wasn't much different in that department. The physical side, however...

Oh my God. I never knew what I'd been missing all those years. Don't get me wrong – even though I couldn't stand the sight of him now, I'd loved Jacob. Of course we'd had a physical relationship that was quite satisfying. But with Edward...I couldn't find enough good adjectives to describe it. Sexy, thrilling, passionate, exciting – one of them seemed sufficient. Yes, it was still early days, and I was sure the extreme lustfulness would wear off eventually, but I was thoroughly enjoying the after effect of the slow buildup.

Edward had started his bellhop job the week before classes had begun. It was nearing the end of February, and we were settled into the spring semester. Having a class with Edward was a lot of fun, especially since it was a creative one. We had "shooting days" scheduled into the syllabus, and they were like going on mini dates. We took our cameras and went on excursions to all sorts of places. Charleston was a great place for aspiring photographers; the historic sites, landmarks, and beaches made for great shooting. Edward, however, was more interested in taking pictures of me than the landscape or architecture. It made me feel self-conscious...until I saw the first prints he presented in class. It felt like I was seeing myself through his eyes, and I felt beautiful.

Sometimes I was afraid that something would go wrong, but those thoughts never lasted more than a few minutes. He would do something to make me smile without even knowing that I needed it, and I'd feel confident again.

We'd spent so much time together over the break that it was weird to not see him every day. He had odd hours at his new job, sometimes working early in the morning and sometimes late into the night. We'd set aside Tuesdays as our date nights, since neither of us had to get up early on Wednesdays, and our first class was our shared photography class. After getting used to spending so many nights together, not having him in my bed felt all wrong.

"Bella?" Rose was saying as she snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"Huh?" I said, startled back into the present.

"Where'd you go, babe? We were just talking about going to see a band this weekend," she said.

"Oh? Which band?"

Alice clapped her hands together. "This guy in one of my classes is in it. They play this really cool...like, folky rock kind of thing. I don't know how to describe it," she said, waving her hand away dismissively. "But Jasper and I went to see them before Christmas, and they were awesome."

I shrugged. "Sounds good. I'm not sure if Edward's working or not, but–" The rattling of the doorknob interrupted me, making me jump. The only other person who had a key besides Rose was Edward, and I wasn't expecting him. I heard keys drop to the floor and a deep voice cursing outside.

I looked back to see Rose smiling smugly and Alice staring wide-eyed at the door. "Is that..."

The door swung open then, and a tired-looking Jasper stepped in. Alice squealed and jumped up, launching herself at him and clinging to him while she babbled unintelligible words. He laughed and held her to him. "I thought you wouldn't be home for another week!"

"I finished up early and thought I'd surprise you," he said. "I only told Rose and Edward." Jasper looked up and winked at me. He knew I was no good at keeping good-news secrets, and neither was Emmett.

The door opened again, and in walked Edward. His eyes sought mine immediately, and I felt the warm tingles that were always present when he was near. We grinned at each other, and he came to sit next to me on the couch, putting his arm around me and kissing my temple.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, kissing him back. "I thought you were working tonight."

"I picked up Jasper from the airport. You're not mad that I kept it from you, are you?"

"Of course not," I told him honestly. "I'm really glad you're here."

"Well," Rose said, standing and gathering her bag and nodding toward Jasper and Alice. "I guess I'll drive these two home before they attack each other in the middle of the living room."

Goodbyes were said, and then it was just Edward and me again. "This is nice," I told him. "Having you here two nights during the week. I almost don't know what to do with myself."

He grinned slyly and leaned over me. "I know exactly what to do with you."

"I'm sure you do," I said before his mouth covered mine. There was no pretense of gentle or gradually mounting intensity. We both knew what we wanted; we couldn't get enough of it. Our shirts were quickly discarded, and my pajama pants were being tugged down my hips before I knew it. One of his hands was at the small of my back as he urged me down onto the couch cushions. Removing the rest of our clothing was proving to be a bit difficult, as he refused to move his lips from my skin. His tongue swirled around my nipples, and his hands roamed my body. My pants were finally worked down around my legs, and I kicked them off. The contrast of his warm, hard chest on mine and the denim of his pants against my legs made my body buzz. When his jeans went the way of the rest of our clothes, I pushed him up to a sitting position and straddled his lap.

Edward moaned, his head falling back against the couch as I slid down onto him. My eyes closed, and I leaned forward, kissing every inch of his neck. His hands alternated between gripping my hips and smoothing over the rest of my body while I moved over him. I tasted salt and Edward as I licked and kissed his skin and smelled his distinct scent. I felt him tensing, relaxing, and tensing again under me. I heard his moans and groans, the wet sounds of kissing and sex. My eyes opened and met his; he was watching me with an ardor that sent chills through my body. I fell forward again, my head on his shoulder, breathing him in as he urged my hips into a faster rhythm. And then I was gasping, crying out into his neck and grasping his strained shoulders as my orgasm surged through me. My name fell from his lips, which sought mine as he followed me over the edge. We kissed passionately and then tenderly as our movements slowed and ceased.

Edward gathered my hair in his hands and held it up, blowing cool air on my neck. The fire that had been roaring in the fireplace was beginning to die, but it was still very warm in the room. We were both a little sweaty.

"I love you, Bella," he said. My head was resting on his shoulder again, and I felt the rumble of his words. He dropped the ends of my hair and smoothed his hand over it. "So much."

"Love you too," I whispered into his ear.

We stayed still and quiet for a moment before I had to get up and use the bathroom. He was sitting on my bed in his boxer briefs when I came out. He reached an arm out toward me.

"Can you stay?" I asked, going to him and kissing the top of his head.

He nodded. "I was counting on it. I packed a bag."

I smiled at him and went to retrieve a t-shirt from my pajama drawer.

"Now why'd you have to go and do that?" he asked when I pulled the shirt over my head. "I like you naked."

I laughed and shook my head as I climbed into bed beside him. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. "Yes. At five in the morning. Will it bother you if the alarm is set that early?"

"Nope. At least you'll get to sleep a little longer since you don't have to drive so far." I set the alarm and turned over to snuggle into his waiting arms.

"I have the whole weekend off," he said. "A new guy started, and we voted to have less shifts instead of shorter ones."

"That's good news." I yawned. "Sorry. It was a long day with Alice and Rose. We went shopping right after our classes were finished."

He chuckled. "It's nice that Jasper was able to come home early."

"Yeah. She missed him a lot."

"I know," he said. "I've missed you lately, and you didn't even go anywhere."

"Aww. I've missed you, too." I squeezed him in a hug. "You'd better get to sleep. You have to get up in, like..." I glanced at the clock. "Five hours." I shuddered at the thought, and he laughed.

"I'm kind of getting used to it," he said. We kissed one last time for the night, and his hands crept under my shirt and up my back as his lips pulled at mine. Eventually, he had my shirt pulled over my head. He locked his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Good night. I love you," he murmured.

I chuckled at his sneaky ways and kissed his cheek. "I love you, too."

x-x-x

Early March brought spring break and a tease of warmer weather. The sun shone brightly as I ran down the sidewalk of the Battery, enjoying the breeze blowing in from the water. It was a Saturday, and Edward was working all afternoon. I missed running with him every day, but it was also kind of nice to find that satisfying solitude I'd loved before I gained a running partner.

My feet pounded the pavement to the beat of the music in my ears as I ran back home. I needed to shower and study before getting ready for the night. Alice had finally gotten us to agree to see her classmate's band at the Pourhouse, a bar that highlighted both local and well-known bands.

I jogged up the stairs to my apartment when I arrived at the house. When I was halfway up the last set of stairs, I saw something attached to the front door. As I got closer, I realized it was a picture, and at first, I thought Edward had left it there. Then I was close enough to see it. A picture of Jacob and me.

He stood behind me with his arms around me, and we were both laughing. I'd never even seen it before. Anger heated my face more than the exertion of running had; I ripped the photograph off the door and threw it onto the wooden slats of the porch. It landed facedown to reveal writing in Jake's chicken scratch.

_I don't like seeing you with that guy._

_I still love you._

_Don't you ever think of me?_

"Gaahhhh!" I stomped on the stupid picture and left it lying there on the porch. When had he seen Edward and me together, anyway? I knew we'd eventually run into him when we were out and about, but apparently he'd spared us that awkward moment and watched from afar. I stomped to the shower and turned the water on, seething as the words turned over in my head.

"Fuck you, Jacob Black!" I yelled aloud as I lathered shampoo into my hair. I finished my tirade in my head. _Who cares if you don't like seeing me with Edward? I sure as hell don't. _I stamped my foot and wished I had put on some angry music to accompany my shower. As I rinsed the shampoo out, I imagined all my frustration washing away down the drain. By the time I'd finished with my shower, the hot water had worked some of the tension out of my muscles.

I sighed as I dried my hair. Of course I thought of him from time to time. He'd been a part of my life since I was a kid. We'd been best friends. He was my first real boyfriend, my first real kiss, and the first and only other man I'd made love with. So yeah, I thought of him. But not in the way he was hoping. I knew a conversation with him was imminent. He'd made contact and put the ball in my court. Granted, there was nothing that said I had to talk to him, but he was a "no news is good news" type of person; he'd take my silence as a good sign.

_Should I do it now and get it out of the way? Is being angry when I talk to him a good or bad thing? Should I just send him an email instead? _

I finished getting dressed, grabbed my phone, and made my way out to the living room, flopping down onto the couch. I wished I could talk to Edward. He'd always left me to handle the Jacob situation on my own, though, offering quiet support. I'd never wanted to bring him into the middle of it. The fact that Edward had introduced Jacob to that girl honestly didn't bother me; the only one at fault was Jacob.

I ran my thumb over the phone, bringing it to life and scrolling through the apps. I stalled for as long as I could; I checked Facebook and emails, texted Alice about our plans for the night, and sent a quick _I love you_ text to Edward. I briefly wondered if I should call Rose. For all her dramatic tendencies, she had been the voice of reason when my heart was broken.

_Fuck it, _I thought. _Just do it, Bella. _I scrolled through my contacts, my thumb hovering over his name. Finally, I touched the green button that would begin what promised to be one of the most difficult yet liberating conversations of my life. He answered on the third ring.

"Jacob," I said, sounding a little harsher than I'd intended. I cleared my throat and took a breath. "It's Bella."

"I know," he said. "How are you, Bells?"

I rolled my eyes at the nickname for my nickname. "I'm...good. I just got home from a run."

"Sooo..." he said, drawing the word out nervously. "You found the picture, then?"

"I really don't appreciate emotional blackmail, Jake."

"Listen, Bells–"

"Don't. Just let me speak. I'll get straight to it. I'm really happy with my life right now. With _Edward_." I stressed his name, hoping he'd get that I didn't like how he'd written _that guy_ on the back of the photo. He stayed silent, so I went on. "To be honest, Jacob, I have you to thank for that. If you hadn't broken up with me, then I never would've known how happy I could really be."

He sucked in a breath. "Ouch, Bella."

"I'll admit that I was..." I searched for the right word. "_Wrecked_ when you told me what you did. I was angry when you decided to end it without consulting me. And that email you sent about stepping out of my comfort zone? I can't begin to tell you how pissed I was."

"Bella, I–"

"No. I'm trying to say that none of that matters now. That piss-poor excuse about a comfort zone actually turned out to be valid." I laughed derisively. "Like I said, if you hadn't broken up with me, I might not have met Edward. And..." I lowered my voice and steeled myself for what was bound to hurt him. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

I heard several deep breaths. "Well," he said in a thick voice. "I guess it's good to know that you're happy. I'm sorry for what I did, and I wish I could take it back, even if you don't. No one..." He paused. "No one can measure up to you."

I bit my lip, and for some unknown reason, my eyes began to water. "I'm...sorry you're having a hard time. But you chose this for both of us." More silence, and then I spoke softly. "Jake, I have to ask you not to contact me anymore. At least for a while."

"Can't we at least be friends?" he asked after a short silence.

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, even though he couldn't see me. "Maybe one day. But not right now."

He sniffed. "I understand. I guess there's really nothing left to say, then. I'll...maybe I'll see you around."

"Maybe. Goodbye, Jake."

He hung up without saying bye. That was the last time I cried over Jacob Black.

x-x-x

"Honey, I'm home!" Edward called out in his best Desi Arnaz impression.

I ran to the door and threw my arms around his neck, grinning up at him. "I missed you."

He chuckled, tossed his messenger bag down by the front door, and rested his hands at the small of my back, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. "You just saw me this morning."

I shrugged and nuzzled into his neck, squeezing him tightly. He backed me into the living room and disentangled himself from my clinging arms. We sank down onto the sofa together so he could unwind from his long day of toting luggage and parking expensive cars. He closed his eyes and leaned back with his arm around me.

"How was your day?" I asked him.

"Normal. Yours?"

"Uh...well... I went for a run earlier."

He pushed his lips out in a pout, and I wanted to suck on them. "I wish I had more time to run with you," he said, opening his eyes and turning his face to mine. His brow furrowed. "Bella?"

"Huh?"

"Have you been crying?"

_Well, damn._ I thought I'd gotten rid of the traces of my short crying jag. "A little," I admitted.

"What's wrong?" He sat up and looked a little panicked.

"Nothing, really," I hedged. "I talked to Jacob today."

He raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing.

"He... Well, I found this picture taped to the door when I got home." I didn't have the evidence; I'd already shredded it to bits. "It was one of him and me, and he'd written a note on the back. It made me really angry, so I called him."

"And?"

I picked his hand up in both of mine and traced abstract patterns on the back of it. "I told him I'd never been happier than I am now and asked him not to contact me again."

A smile played at the corner of Edward's lips. "Really? I mean about the 'never been happier' part."

"Of course," I told him, climbing over him to sit sideways on his lap. I placed my hands on either side of his face. "Edward, no one has made me feel as special and loved as you. You've never pushed me for anything, and you let me figure things out for myself." I kissed him softly. "Yeah, I was afraid to go from being your best friend to your girlfriend, but only because that's how things started with Jacob. I didn't want to lose two friends that way. But it's so different this time. I love you more than anything."

"You're still my best friend," he said, resting his forehead against mine. "And the feeling is mutual. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He kissed me softly and slowly, our lips tugging and tongues caressing. An inkling of an idea popped into my head, and before I could debate it, I pulled away and looked into his gorgeous green eyes.

"Move in with me," I said.

Shock registered on his face, followed by a huge grin. "I already stay here most of the time," he said.

"Let's make it official," I said. "Move in with me for real. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every day. I want you to know that you're not disturbing me by coming over when you get off work at one in the morning. You'll just be coming home to me."

We stared at each other, grinning like a couple of lovesick teenagers, which wasn't too far from the truth – we weren't teenagers, but we were most assuredly smitten . "Okay," he said.

"Okay?" I repeated.

He nodded. "The sooner the better." I threw my arms around his neck, and his surrounded my waist, pulling me closer as he kissed my lips, my face, my neck. "How much time do we have before we have to meet everyone?"

"Two hours?" I guessed.

"Sounds about right," he murmured. Then he pulled me to my feet and led me to my – _our _– bedroom.

x-x-x

"You're moving in together?" Rose yelled excitedly over the loud music in the bar.

I nodded, unable to hide the ecstatic smile I'd been wearing throughout the evening. The adoring looks Edward and I shared constantly had our friends and siblings bombarding us with questions. It had spurred a guessing game of sorts, in which Emmett clapped his brother on the back and congratulated him on getting laid. I blushed profusely, though a possessive part of me sort of wanted to shout that that line had been crossed two months ago. We ignored his inappropriate comments and let them keep guessing. Eventually, I got tired of their absurd imaginations and just told Alice and Rose.

We stood near the front of the stage with our drinks, bouncing and nodding to the music of Alice's friend's band. They turned out to be really talented with an original sound; I understood why she'd had a difficult time describing their sound. The band took a break, and Alice motioned for us to join her outside on the back deck.

"Are you moving in with us or staying at your place?" Alice asked when we were seated close together on a long, wooden bench that surrounded the deck.

"My place," I said. "It's just that it's so close to school and his job." I smiled wryly. "Plus, we like the privacy."

Alice made a squeaking noise and hugged me. "I knew you two would get it together one of these days. I have to admit that it's a little sad that I won't be living with my brothers anymore, but–" she wiped away a pretend tear and sniffled for effect "–we're all growing up so fast."

Rose and I giggled at her. "Wait, so does that mean you're moving in with Jasper?" I asked.

She glanced slyly to the outside deck bar, where the guys were laughing at the female bartender who'd been flirting with them all night. "Well, I've sort of been moving things gradually and spending more and more time at his house. I figured it would come as less of a shock to my overprotective brothers if it was a progressive thing."

"Sneaky," Rose said with a laugh and a shake of her head.

"Hey, if you and Em are getting married, you'll probably get a place of your own, and then I'd be left all alone in that big house. Besides, Mom and Dad will be able to use it as a rental again."

Rose and Emmett had informed us earlier that evening, without fanfare, that their plans to wait until she graduated had been changed. Emmett had officially proposed, and they decided they didn't want to wait any longer; they had begun to plan a summer wedding. She wore a beautiful diamond solitaire on her ring finger and kept sneaking admiring looks at it.

The guys joined us then, laden with beers and shots of an amber liquid that I really hoped was my favorite Irish whiskey. Alice regarded the miniature plastic cup with derision. Sweet, girly drinks were more her speed.

"Do I have to?" she whined.

"Absolutely," said Rose.

Edward came to stand next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing me on the top of my head. I beamed up at him and squeezed the hand that rested on my hip. We raised our shots in a toast to Em, Rose, and the future, and then downed them quickly. The delicious whiskey went down smoothly, leaving in its wake a pleasant burn and an almost caramel aftertaste. Alice coughed and pinched her nose as the rest of us "ahh"ed and cracked open fresh beers. We heard the sound of the band starting up again inside and began to disperse.

Edward pulled me back as I started to follow the others. He held me close and pressed his lips to mine, the slight remnants of whiskey making the kiss that much sweeter. "I love you, Bella," he slurred slightly. "Do you know that?"

I ran a finger down his cheek to his strong jaw. "I do know that. Without a doubt. And do you know how much I love you?"

His mouth turned up in that signature crooked smile of his. "I do. I'm so glad you decided to take a chance on me."

"There was no decision to be made," I told him quietly, leaning in toward his lips again. "It was just a matter of time, even if I didn't realize it at first."

Our lips met, and there was no need for further words as tongues slid together and lips and teeth tugged. When I remembered through my Edward-induced haze that we were in a public place, I blushed slightly and pulled away. "Let's join the others," I said.

He nodded and followed behind me, grasping my hand in his. We rejoined the others, who were dancing enthusiastically to the live music. As I looked around at my friends, a warmth spread through my chest. Everyone looked so happy and excited. This was my chosen family, and I loved them more than I could ever express. As Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind me, I harbored hope that we'd actually be one big, interwoven family someday in the distant future. I turned my head slightly to kiss him on the cheek. "Love you," I mouthed.

"I love and adore you, Bella Swan," he said into my ear. What I'd said before was true. I knew he did; I felt it each and every day. Could everything feel this perfect forever? Probably not. But as long as we loved one another, and I could make him feel just a fraction of the love and warmth he radiated, it would be perfect for me.

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_A/N: THANK YOU! Just so you know, I'll be posting an outtake/future-take (and perhaps some other scenes from EPOV) under the companion to this story, titled "He Knows." _


	15. FGB Outtake  Lights Out

_A/N: An outtake/future-take from You Should Know, originally written for the FGB Autism Awareness Compilation. I hope you enjoy it! :)_

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"I can't find the thingy," Bella said in between wild giggles. "It's dark in here."

"If you'd stop fumbling around, I could get it in," I said in frustration. "It's really hard."

"Careful, Edward. Don't touch it too much or you'll leave fingerprints and smudges everywhere." She leaned forward, and we bumped heads, sending her into another fit of laughter. "Ow! This is ridiculous. Why does it have to be so dark?"

"It can't be exposed to light, Bella. You know that." It really was exasperating and awkward – and our first experience with it. "Now hold this. I think it's almost in. Yes!"

"Don't move," she whispered. "It can slip out really easily. Just twist it really gently at first."

Finally, the roll of film caught, and I was able to turn the reel and load it properly. "I don't care how much you practice that in the light; it's just not the same when you can't rely on sight."

Spring semester had been in session for two weeks, and Bella and I were having our first experience with loading film into reels in the light-tight room. It was so dark that you couldn't even see your hand directly in front of your face. The first time I went in during the tour of the photo lab, the hairs stood up on the back of my neck, and I started to panic a little bit. I'd never done very well with enclosed spaces, but at least I'd never had a huge freakout. I would never have made it past those first couple of weeks in class if I had.

"There," I said as I inserted the loaded reel into the little black canister and snapped the lid on. "Let's do yours now."

After we had Bella's roll of film loaded and in the canister, we both sighed in relief and sat back for a moment. At least I know _I_ sat back in relief. I couldn't see what Bella was doing. I jumped as I felt a cold hand on my cheek and a quick kiss on my lips. "We did it!" Bella said. "I'm sure it will be much easier next time."

I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her waist. "I hope so. I'm glad we came during open lab and not during class hours. There would probably be a line of people waiting outside that door."

She giggled. "I wonder if anybody's ever _done it_ in here."

I wasn't sure where that thought had come from, but far be it from me to question my girl thinking about sex. I raised an eyebrow and leered at her, even though she couldn't see me. "Hmm. I dunno. But if not, I wouldn't mind being the first ones." I dragged my lips down her throat and over her shoulder.

"I don't know – I was only kidding," she said. "Well, half kidding."

"Don't kid me about that kind of stuff, Bella." I bit her shoulder, and she squeaked. I soothed it with my tongue, and she let out a sound that stirred a pleasant feeling in my pants.

"You know, it really is kind of hot."

"Hot?" I repeated, running my thumbs over her hard nipples. "It seems like you're a little cold."

"I didn't mean it that way," she said lowly. "I mean...not knowing what you're about to do. Not being able to see anything."

"Oh, so if I do this" – I leaned in a bit a nipple through her top, making her jump and moan simultaneously – "then you won't see it coming?"

"God. It's like everything is hypersensitive." She swung a leg over me so she was straddling my lap. Then I felt her lick slowly up my neck and jaw. "See?" she whispered.

"Y–yeah. I do." A shiver went through my body, and I pulled her hips flush with mine, grinding my erection against her hot center. "Uh, you're wearing a dress."

She nodded as she continued her attentions on my neck. I could feel her damp heat radiating through the thin cotton panties she wore. She moaned when I moved my fingers down and touched her there, surprising and teasing her.

"Edward, you'd better not start something we can't finish."

"Oh, I plan on finishing," I growled, pushing my erection against her again and causing us both to groan. I tilted my head and aimed my lips toward where I hoped hers were. We collided in a rough kiss, tongues slipping and teeth nipping.

I felt her reach down, unbutton my jeans and ease the zipper down. When her hand grasped me, I gasped. She was so right: everything was unexpected and extra sensitive in the complete darkness. I groaned her name as her soft, grasping hand slid slowly up and down. My hands wandered over her body, squeezing her breasts, skimming down her sides and over the slight swell of her hips, and then caressing down her soft, smooth legs. When I hit leather, I think my cock jumped in her grip.

"You're wearing those boots, aren't you?" I whispered.

"Yeah, I guess I am," she said, the smug grin obvious in her voice.

"Oh, Bella," I growled again, tugging my pants down slightly and pushing her panties to the side. "I'm going to fuck you now. Here in the dark with those sexy boots on."

"Please," she whimpered. Her weight shifted on my lap as she rose slightly and reached down to position herself over me. Our breathing picked up exponentially as she sank down on me. The wet warmth that always felt so amazing around me was even better added to the thrill of this dark public place.

"You feel so good," I muttered into her neck when I was completely buried inside her. "Soft and warm." She started moving right away, hands on my shoulders and legs wrapped around me. My head fell back as I let her take the reins for the time being. She slid up and down slowly, making little noises that added to the heightened feelings. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I grabbed her hips and began to thrust up into her.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. I wondered briefly if the light-tight room was soundproof as well...

My hands began wandering again, and I pulled the front of her dress down so I could access her gorgeous breasts. Not that I could see them...but I could feel them. And taste them. Jesus, she tasted so good. I sucked a tightened nipple into my mouth, loving the feeling of rolling it around on my tongue. I was pretty sure she loved it, too, because she groaned and contracted around me. Her other breast filled my left hand, and I pinched her nipple roughly, knowing it always brought her right to the edge.

She cried out, and I felt her internal tightening again, causing my balls to tighten with that winding and coiling feeling that always meant I was close. I moved my hands to her hips and held on while I thrust upward. She ground down on me more forcefully and gasped as she began to pulse around me and call my name as quietly as she could. Each squeeze of her walls around my dick urged me closer and closer. I slipped my arms underneath hers and gripped her shoulders, pulling her down as I pushed up. And then I was done for. I sucked on her neck, muffling my loud groans as I came deep inside her.

She collapsed against me like a rag doll, and I held her as I sagged back in the chair. "I can't believe we just had sex in the photo lab," she said when our breathing evened out. She sat up, causing me to slip out of her. "Oh, God. That was hot."

I laughed and leaned forward to kiss her. "I have to agree, baby."

We straightened ourselves and cleaned up as best as we could in the dark. I was relieved that Bella carried tissues in her bag. When we were as presentable as we felt we could be, I cracked the door open and peeked out. "Coast is clear," I told her. "Not a soul in sight."

She breathed out heavily. "Good. Look, I'm going to go use the restroom. Can you start my film for me?"

"Of course," I told her, kissing her on the temple. "Go ahead."

At that moment, the door to the second light-tight room opened, and a couple stepped out looking as rumpled and bedraggled as I imagined we did. The girl smoothed her hands over her blonde hair; the guy just grinned as he exited the room.

Bella's eyes widened as they walked past her and out of the lab. "Guess that answers my question from before. But they didn't even the decency to _pretend _they were here to do work."

I snorted. "Like there was anything decent about what we just did."

One side of her mouth lifted in a smirk, and she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. "I love you," she whispered. "And that was sensational."

"Yes, it was," I murmured. "And I love you, too."

"Be right back," she said, shooting me a flirty look over her shoulder as she walked out of the photo lab.

I watched her go with a smug smile on my face. I had the best girlfriend ever.


End file.
